pabramson #fundie

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– INTERCEPTED SKEPTICS COMMUNIQUE –

Fellow Skeptics, we remain intellectually superior to those lowly creationists. We are so superior that we have only studied evolution. Let us collectively pat ourselves on the back for having reached this evolved pinnacle of wisdom and understanding. Without investigating the claims of those lowly creationists we can proudly proclaim their error. There is one thing that remains though, where on Earth are they HIDING those creationist scientific evidences! That is the only minor thing that we have not yet been able to figure out! But all else is clearly known to us. Keep marching forward towards that spiritual cliff ahead. Feel proud. And when you are in front, take a deep breath, and gaze at the beautiful view. And keep marching even as you fall off and tumble through the air. So invigorating. Now let us recite the Skeptics Creed:

“I am a skeptic. All that is answers to my understanding or else it does not exist. I am too strong to admit weakness, particularly spiritually. I deny the role of The Scientific Mathematician who created and sustains the universe. Instead I contend that the trillions of known stars and the magnificience of abundant interlocking scientific laws of motion, preservation, heat, sophisticated chemical and biological interactions ALL exploded from nothingness into chance existence for no reason. There is thus no purpose to life.

49 comments

old comment by Brian X

" INTERCEPTED SKEPTICS COMMUNIQUE

Fellow Skeptics, we remain intellectually superior to those lowly creationists, not that it's our fault. They make it too damn easy. We are so superior that we have only studied evolution because we had creation shoved down our throats as a kid and it doesn't work -- like aversive therapy, huh?. Let us collectively pat ourselves on the back for having reached this evolved pinnacle of wisdom and understanding.Are we sure we can't give Darwin a posthumous Nobel? Or at least Rosalind Franklin? Without investigating the claims of those lowly creationists we can proudly proclaim their error; we have the fossils, we win. There is one thing that remains though, where on Earth are they HIDING those creationist scientific evidences! Seriously, I'd love to know. I get tired of hearing the same old shit. That is the only minor thing that we have not yet been able to figure out! But all else is clearly known to us, or can be with enough digging. Keep marching, fundies, forward towards that spiritual cliff ahead. Feel proud. And when you are in front, take a deep breath, and gaze at the beautiful view that is so endlessly wasted on mind-neutered numbnuts such as yourselves. And keep marching even as you fall off and tumble through the air. So invigorating. And it'll get you out of our hair for good. Or you could stop marching and pick up a fucking book once in a while. You could become one of us. But those of you who would will anyway, or already have. Now let us recite the Skeptics Creed:

“I am a skeptic. All that is answers to my understanding or else it does not exist. (Damn straight!) I am too strong to admit weakness, particularly spiritually. (We just threw that in to tick off the loonies...) I deny the role of The Scientific Mathematician who created and sustains the universe. Instead I contend that the trillions of known stars and the magnificience of abundant interlocking scientific laws of motion, preservation, heat, sophisticated chemical and biological interactions ALL exploded from nothingness into chance existence for no reason. There is thus no purpose to life, so we make our own and live better than the people afraid of an imaginary God. "

Don't you hate it when they even misquote their imaginary strawmen?

old comment by Mister Spak

" INTERCEPTED FUNDIE COMMUNIQUE

Fellow fundies, we remain morally superior to those lowly heathens. We are so superior that we don't understand evolution. Let us collectively pat ourselves on the back for having reached this exalted state of savedness. Without understanding the claims of those lowly athieists we can proudly proclaim their error. There is one thing that remains though, where on Earth are they HIDING those evolutionist conspiracy evidences! That is the only minor thing that we have not yet been able to figure out! But all else is clearly known to us. Keep marching forward towards that cliff ahead. Feel proud. And when you are in front, take a deep breath, and know that gravity is only a theory. And keep marching even as you fall off and tumble through the air. So invigorating. Now let us recite the Fundie Creed:

“I am a fundie. All that is answers to my understanding or else it does not exist. I am too strong to admit weakness, particularly spiritually. I deny the role of observable reality which informs us of the universe. Instead I contend that the trillions of known stars and the magnificience of abundant interlocking scientific laws of motion, preservation, heat, sophisticated chemical and biological interactions ALL exploded into nothingness when they contradict my myth. There is thus no purpose to facts "

Fixed.

old comment by Swede

This must be one of the most obvious trolls ever.

This person needs to look up the meaning of the word skeptic. It means quite the opposite of what s/he implies.
A skeptic questions EVERYTHING, until it has been satisfactorily proven beyond reasonable doubt, through experiments and peer-reviewing.

The "claims of those lowly creationists" are investigated all the time, that's the problem. Those claims have no substance, no evidence to back them up. And though it has been asked for time and time again, no evidence has ever been put forth for creationism, only empty words.

The purpose to life is to live, to make the life of others worth living.