Noah's Ark may well have been a submarine, actually.
80 comments
What's wrong with having a fantasy vessel in a fantasy flood? (Other than lighting an oil lamp in a methane filled environment.)
"We all live in a wooden submarine, wooden submarine, wooden submarine...-BOOM!"
All together now:
"We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine"
BTW. EVERYONE knows the Ark was a TARDIS.
so now you would have the problem of air supply as well as the food fresh water and waste problems
Actually, modern subs have scrubbers, so it goes without saying that our friend Noah's submarkine also would have scrubbers. We can't outdo the divine, so obviously the Red Arktober had a Holy Scrubber system equal to or better than those of today's subs.
And if that, wait 'til Elijah describes her armament of nuclear Brimstone SLBMs and Sea Divider Countermeasure system. I hear her reactor was something to see, too.
I cannot see ElijahFalling's comments on the page when I follow the link. Was he banned and his comments deleted? Or is someone submitting false quotes to FSTDT?
Edit: found it . The quote is actually located on page 5. Pay attention, submitters!
Wee all live in a fundie submarine,
a fundie submarine,
a fundie submarine
And our friends are all aboard,
unless they're sinners, or gays or whores,
and the band begins to pray...
Sticks float . . .
They wood
@agentCDE
Nah, I'd go with aircraft carrier since the bible says Noah sent out an F-18 to recon for dry land.
"Also he sent forth an F-18 from him, to see if the waters were abated from off the face of the ground"
The truth of the matter is that Noah was a railway pioneer and he ran the first circus train.
Noah was, in fact, George Stephenson.
so now you would have the problem of air supply
Everyone has a problem with Air Supply...
Oh. You didn't mean the band.
The first submarine used in battle was the Turtle, in Connecticut 1775.
It was made of two wooden shells, covered with tar, and reinforced with steel bands.
More info in the wikipedia.
Chapter and verse? Allusions? ANYTHING saying that Noah's ark resided beneath the waves? I didn't think so.
Alternately: This makes as much sense as a submarine with a screen door! (See what I did there? LOL!)
ROTFLMAO! Oh, gob, I haven't laughed this much in a long time; if this guy isn't a Poe, he's one of the most creative fundies I've ever read.
Of course, the comments are even funnier!
I think his poor shriveled brain may be confusing his early memories of Veggie Tales with the time one of his siblings' friends brought over the Beatles' "Yellow Submarine."
Or maybe his parents just haven't found his stash of model airplane glue yet.
Fundie "I hate when you fuckers swear"
Fundie, 'Good Point': " If God didn't exist that would only prove he does....haa... got you there baby-eating fuckin Atheist shit"
Ingredients for Holy Submarine:
10 tons gopher wood
All the animals, 2x2
1 cubit square window, cut to size
1 gas lamp
1 Flood
1 drunken Noah
No means of propulsion
= Holy Fail, Batman
Ah, so that would explain it! It all makes sense to me now!!
(Got to love how they remain ignorant by shunning anything not PLAINLY stated in the Bible... While, if it HELPS get the word across then why CAN'T it be true?)
Thanks for digging this one out of the archives, it gave me the best laugh I've had this week.
As if the traditional concept of Noah's ark wasn't already completely ridiculous and impossible, along comes a new version which is even more completely out of the question. A giant wooden sub with no motor crammed with two of every creature on earth (maybe even dinosaurs)....oh, the imagery is killing me!
I need to go and lie down now, to give my aching sides a rest.
"Noah's Ark may well have been a submarine, actually."
...and this, kids, is what happens when you marathon the films/TV series "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea", "Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea", "Hunt for Red October", "SeaQuest DSV", the anime "Blue Submarine No. 6", and the Don Bluth Sci-Fi animated film "Titan AE" on 'shrooms.
Hell, why not go all the way, ElijahFail ing: Noah's Ark may well have been...:
image
...an Ekranoplan ?! [/hyper-sarcasm]
...there isn't enough underwater (or at least maritime -based] Sci-Fi out there, alas. (*sigh *) ;_;
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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