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Quote# 32416

(AV16's speculations on Noah's Ark)

1. The Ark was built where Noah lived --- North America.
2. It took 120 years to build.
3. It was not a ship or a boat; it was a containment vessel.
4. God miraculously fed the animals the same way He fed the widow and her son in 1 Kings 17.
5. The amount of water that was used to execute this judgment should not be a matter of controversy; as God could have sent ten times that amount if He wanted to.
6. Evidence for this Flood would be near impossible to find, as God Himself cleaned up the mess.

AV1611VET, ChristianForums 40 Comments [12/15/2007 2:06:33 PM]
Fundie Index: 3
WTF?! || meh
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Carnivore_Rabbit

Damn it! I must have read the expurgated version of the bible. Maybe I should've read the King Jane Version.

12/15/2007 2:10:09 PM

Mike

So, all-in-all, Goddidit.

12/15/2007 2:20:33 PM

Miykael Poly

What did the creatonists say formed the grand canyon? oh right THE flood...

12/15/2007 2:21:06 PM

Bryan65

1. Wrong.
2. Wrong.
3. Wrong again.
4. Nope!
5. It is. And he didn't.
6. God shopped it out to Merry Maids?

AV1611VET been in too many battles without his helmet.

12/15/2007 2:35:45 PM

t3h_fuhr3r

You say that evidence is near impossible to find, and then claim every slight inconsistancy in the fossil record as evidence.
"O NOES THEY TOOK AWAY MAH CAKE AND ETTING!!!"

12/15/2007 3:34:38 PM

Man Called True

So, basically, you're trying to rig the debate in such a way that you can't lose.

That's called "cheating", you know.

12/15/2007 3:40:40 PM

werewolf

Your imagination is perverse. Wouldn't it better turned to porn?

12/15/2007 3:52:26 PM

Seamus D

Wow! you convinced me! Praise the Lord!

12/15/2007 4:25:18 PM

Illuminatalie

"Evidence for this Flood would be near impossible to find, as God Himself cleaned up the mess."

You are insane, Dr. Janice Lester.

12/15/2007 4:33:03 PM

Osiris

1. The Ark was built where Noah lived --- North America.
The Bible never mentions North America, no one alive at the time the Bible was written even knew it existed, you have no evidence to prove so, so you are just plain old fashion wrong.

2. It took 120 years to build.
Where in the Bible does it say this? It doesn't. And how could Noah have taken so long to build a ridiculously huge boat and no one notice or get the idea to build their own boats?

3. It was not a ship or a boat; it was a containment vessel.
Also known as an ARK!

4. God miraculously fed the animals the same way He fed the widow and her son in 1 Kings 17.
Okay. Did God also keep the animals from killing each other. Did he keep the animals like flies that only live for two weeks and die miraculously alive the whole time? Did God miraculously clean their waste too? You know this seems like a bigger waste of time then just recreating everything from scratch.

5. The amount of water that was used to execute this judgment should not be a matter of controversy; as God could have sent ten times that amount if He wanted to.
That still doesn't explain where it all went.

6. Evidence for this Flood would be near impossible to find, as God Himself cleaned up the mess.
And then he made it look like the world had existed for billions of years and filled it fossils of creatures that never existed too.

12/15/2007 4:47:38 PM

Michael


12/15/2007 5:28:19 PM

Michael



Pull my finger Dr. Hovind

12/15/2007 5:36:31 PM

Ponder

'tis a sad world where the atheists know more about the bible's stories (not just the inconsistencies and the horrible unfairness of it all) than the fundies.

And for all of his 'goddidit' explanation, he doesn't cover what happened to all the animal shit inside the ark. I mean, after a year on sea, with two (or seven, it's not really clear) of every kind of animal, bird, and insect, well... There'd be no air.

12/15/2007 6:54:58 PM

484

I have a theory: it is unfalsifiable and that means you should take it more seriously.

12/15/2007 7:32:29 PM

Euclid

1. Citation needed.
2. Citation needed.
3. Um. Right. Thank you, Mr Clinton, for that excellent demonstration of semantic pointlessness.
4. Which was...? Oh, goddiddit. Wow. Thanks for clearing that up. Much clearer now.
5. Why not just trample humanity with a herd of gigantic IPUs?
6. Obviously the IPUs then get magicked away to Omicron Persei VIII. Then God painted the universe puce. But then He made it all different yesterday and rigged it so that you'd never know. Hey I just realized: God's a dick.

12/15/2007 9:50:17 PM

akg41470

Wow, you know, you're RIGHT! God left no evidence because he was a good boy and cleaned up after himself!

PRAISE JEBUS

12/15/2007 11:10:01 PM



Wow this guy is even worse than Hovind or Ham. At least they try to make up evidence for their ideas.

12/16/2007 1:37:11 AM

Ahkenaten

It still all boils down to "God did it, lol", just over-worded.

12/16/2007 5:58:16 AM

flipper

Comic relief yes, serious concept, eh..no. In the Bible???? Hell no!

12/16/2007 7:04:12 AM

Mandie

1. Fail.
2. Fail.
3. Fail.
4. Fail.
5. Fail.
6. Fail.

In conclusion: you are a moron.

12/16/2007 8:32:28 AM



He never looked the word speculation up and neither stupid. So, he will never know he's doing stupid speculation.

12/16/2007 11:15:41 PM

Caustic Gnostic

Occam's Chainsaw Award.

12/17/2007 2:55:22 AM

Mister Spak

"6. Evidence for this Flood would be near impossible to find, as God Himself cleaned up the mess."

Well, that explains it.

12/17/2007 5:41:26 AM

Exodizer

I know this guy from http://christianforums.com/f13, and this is not even close to the craziest thing he's said.

12/17/2007 9:16:58 AM

Tempus

My god...it's full of fail.

12/17/2007 11:08:29 AM
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