(AV16's speculations on Noah's Ark)
1. The Ark was built where Noah lived --- North America.
2. It took 120 years to build.
3. It was not a ship or a boat; it was a containment vessel.
4. God miraculously fed the animals the same way He fed the widow and her son in 1 Kings 17.
5. The amount of water that was used to execute this judgment should not be a matter of controversy; as God could have sent ten times that amount if He wanted to.
6. Evidence for this Flood would be near impossible to find, as God Himself cleaned up the mess.
41 comments
So, basically, you're trying to rig the debate in such a way that you can't lose.
That's called "cheating", you know.
"Evidence for this Flood would be near impossible to find, as God Himself cleaned up the mess."
You are insane, Dr. Janice Lester.
1. The Ark was built where Noah lived --- North America.
The Bible never mentions North America, no one alive at the time the Bible was written even knew it existed, you have no evidence to prove so, so you are just plain old fashion wrong.
2. It took 120 years to build.
Where in the Bible does it say this? It doesn't. And how could Noah have taken so long to build a ridiculously huge boat and no one notice or get the idea to build their own boats?
3. It was not a ship or a boat; it was a containment vessel.
Also known as an ARK!
4. God miraculously fed the animals the same way He fed the widow and her son in 1 Kings 17.
Okay. Did God also keep the animals from killing each other. Did he keep the animals like flies that only live for two weeks and die miraculously alive the whole time? Did God miraculously clean their waste too? You know this seems like a bigger waste of time then just recreating everything from scratch.
5. The amount of water that was used to execute this judgment should not be a matter of controversy; as God could have sent ten times that amount if He wanted to.
That still doesn't explain where it all went.
6. Evidence for this Flood would be near impossible to find, as God Himself cleaned up the mess.
And then he made it look like the world had existed for billions of years and filled it fossils of creatures that never existed too.
'tis a sad world where the atheists know more about the bible's stories (not just the inconsistencies and the horrible unfairness of it all) than the fundies.
And for all of his 'goddidit' explanation, he doesn't cover what happened to all the animal shit inside the ark. I mean, after a year on sea, with two (or seven, it's not really clear) of every kind of animal, bird, and insect, well... There'd be no air.
1. Citation needed.
2. Citation needed.
3. Um. Right. Thank you, Mr Clinton, for that excellent demonstration of semantic pointlessness.
4. Which was...? Oh, goddiddit. Wow. Thanks for clearing that up. Much clearer now.
5. Why not just trample humanity with a herd of gigantic IPUs?
6. Obviously the IPUs then get magicked away to Omicron Persei VIII. Then God painted the universe puce. But then He made it all different yesterday and rigged it so that you'd never know. Hey I just realized: God's a dick.
"Evidence for this Flood would be near impossible to find, as God Himself cleaned up the mess."
Destroying evidence to protect himself from being charged with crimes against humanity?
Tempus, I about snorted my coffee out my ears at that one. Good show!
As for this poster, all he's saying is, "Gawd did TOO flood the Earth! Did too, did too, did too! So there!" Which is as bankrupt as it gets.
1. The Bible says otherwise. Also, you're starting to sound like a Poe.
2. Er, no. Again, the Bible says otherwise, I believe.
3. The difference being...?
4. Riiight. And I suppose "goddidit" is your explanation for fitting millions of creatures on a boat smaller than a modern cruise ship?
5. So again, you're claiming magic as your defense.
6. So not only are you just reverting to "zomg itz magik!", but you're also saying that God is a deceiver for removing evidence that would prove your Bible infallible. Hm.
*Evidence for this flood would be near impossible to find, as God Himself cleaned up the mess.
I wonder if the Divine makes housecalls. I have a huge house party here next week, and clean-up is such a bitch!
"1. The Ark was built where Noah lived --- North America."
Chapter and verse. Everything else is set in Asia/Africa, why should Noah be any different?
"2. It took 120 years to build."
Again, Chapter and verse.
"3. It was not a ship or a boat; it was a containment vessel."
Uh...huh? The Bible describes it as a boat, buddy.
"4. God miraculously fed the animals the same way He fed the widow and her son in 1 Kings 17."
You know what? I'm feeling generous, and will let this one slide as it's at least not stretching the bible.
"5. The amount of water that was used to execute this judgment should not be a matter of controversy; as God could have sent ten times that amount if He wanted to."
But then would all things not have signs of a massive deluge of water? I mean over a month straight of rain would be something evidenced in geological records. Not to mention to cover the highest mountains in that time frame, it would be less like rain, and more like standing in the midst of a waterfall. Boat or no, Noah would have been unable to survive without gills. Provided he isn't pounded by the deluge into a fine paste.
"6. Evidence for this Flood would be near impossible to find, as God Himself cleaned up the mess."
Would he not maintain the evidence as a warning of what would happen should his word be disobeyed again?
1. Repeat after me...'MIDDLE EAST'. The entire bible took place in there.
2. No, it took longer
3. It was an ARK, in other words, a SHIP.
4. You're so stupid, it should be illegal.
5. I thought magic was evil
6. Maybe because it never happened.
Few small problems I can see but other wise fine.
1. This is the same god who leaves millions of people including Christians to starve everyday?
2. This is the same god who destroys cities (New Orleans for instance) then gives no assistance cleaning up?
3. How The F**K does an Israelite get to North America to build his vessel in the first place?
Timon
Few small problems I can see but other wise fine.
3. How The F**K does an Israelite get to North America to build his vessel in the first place?
3. He ordered an upgrade on the "Red Sea Parting Device" sold by ACME.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.