One night papers were flying around my room. I decided to do an excorsism. I said in the name of Jesus Christ get out of my house and after I said that someone yelled Asha... Asha means life and something else which I forget, but I have partly been possessed by a demon before and my house has many demons in it that come and go as they please. I perform the excorsisms but it's only temporary. I may just be a teenager but I tend to take matters into my own hands.
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Some nice gentlemen are coming over later Samantha, they're going to put a nice white jacket on you to keep you safe, and they'll take you to a nice safe place where you'll be able to get the medication you need, okay?
Question here in the back! Samantha, can you explain to me how one can be "Partly Possessed?" Is it like they possess you big toe? Your leg? A hand, maybe? A Brain?
Also, they must be them casual west coast type demons, or teenaged demons, coming and going as they please. I tell you that's the problem wi these teenage demons, no discipline. Beelzebub isn't what he used to be.
and after I said that someone yelled Asha
Actually I believe you misheard. It was your neighbor yelling "Asshat!" As in: "Shut up about Jesus already, just because the wind is blowing some paper around, and let me watch TV in peace, you goddamn asshat!"
Asha means life and something else which I forget, but [word salad]
Whut? "Life"...? so...? Oh and something else. OK, well, that clarifies the random dribble that follows. Or, y'know, not. (Please don't attempt to clarify further -- I'd rather keep what's left of my sanity.)
And like a lot of teenagers, Samantha, you're full of shit. (Not a criticism of teenagers, by the way, it just comes with the territory).
One night papers were flying around my room. I decided to do an excorsism.
- wouldn't closing the window have been simpler?
I said in the name of Jesus Christ get out of my house and after I said that someone yelled Asha... Asha means life and something else which I forget, but I have partly been possessed by a demon before and my house has many demons in it that come and go as they please.
- Rats, most likely.
I perform the excorsisms but it's only temporary.
- Rats do tend to come back. Talk to your parents about getting a humane ratcatcher.
I may just be a teenager but I tend to take matters into my own hands.
- Isn't that sinful?
Question here in the back! Samantha, can you explain to me how one can be "Partly Possessed?" Is it like they possess you big toe? Your leg? A hand, maybe?
Haven't you ever seen Evil Dead II?
"...I may just be a teenager but I tend to take matters into my own hands."
So do most horny teenagers, but only the fundy ones blame their masturbation on the demons that partly possess them (or possess certain parts, as the case may be).
I've heard this same BS - almost word-for-word - from fluffbunny wannabe "teen witches" that think Wicca = scenes from "The Craft."
It's bullshit when they spout it, and it's bullshit now. Samantha just wants to be "cool" and get attention, so she makes up fantasy scenarios and pretends they're real.
I'm paganish....I don't believe in Sky Daddys and Heavens and Hells...But I do believe that there is a general life force that we come from. When we die, our energy is just redistributed. Not reincarnation, just redistribution. Regardless, life as we know it ends at death. Within this community there are a lot of what I call "Kraft Brand Witches" who talk about having "dragons" in their house or spirit totems that they talk to regularly. Or the dedicated solitary practitioners that see physical manifestations...I guess it comes from every fold. Especially in the 16-26 range. I usually just nod and say, "That's nice..." and then laugh at them later. This girl will probably get over this lapse of retardation known as being a teenager. Hopefully.
Samantha, if the demons are shouting, 'life', then they obviously want you to live. Please, deny them what they want... For the Lord!
Let's just pause for a moment, those of us who are rationalists, and contemplate how terrifying life must be for people who think the spiritual realm exists.
Spirits everywhere, watching you! Demons and devils in your head. God and Satan both giving you thoughts and impressions, telling you what to do.
Religious belief is little different from mental illness, and uses many of the same techniques.
forgive me if my information is out of date, but when did your average teenager become qualified to preform an exorcism, even as far as fundies go?
for that matter, I'm reasonably certain that an exorcism involves a bit more than saying, "In the name of Jesus Christ, get out of my house."
but then, if you've got that come and go, toss paper around kinda demon, I suppose that'd cover it, at least on a temporary basis, right?
@teajay
"I find using the vacuum cleaner sucks them up good."
You may be confusing rats with mice.
The girl is OBVIOUSLY developing PSYCHOKINETIC powers. You wait , a few years , the senior prom and BLOOD WILL FLY !!!
Hollywood, send me a check and you can have the movie rights .
"One night papers were flying around my room. I decided to do an excorsism. I said in the name of Jesus Christ get out of my house and after I said that someone yelled Asha... Asha means life and something else which I forget, but I have partly been possessed by a demon before and my house has many demons in it that come and go as they please. I perform the excorsisms but it's only temporary."
Yeah. I get the same thing happening to me. But it's only temporary too. The breeze blowing my papers about soon stops when I close the window. [/Occam's Razor] [/smartarse]
"I may just be a teenager but I tend to take matters into my own hands."
You'll go blind doing that. [/touch yourself at night] XP X3
"someone yelled Asha"
You had the radio on too loud, whilst playing the Cornershop tune "Brimful of Asha". Although to me, the titular chorus always sounded to me as if they were referring to cerebral matter stuffed with bacon, then served on an old vinyl single: 'Brain Full of Rashers on a 45'. o_O; X3 [/Mondegreens]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brimful_of_Asha
http://www.kissthisguy.com/482songsof-Cornershop.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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