Is this weird or what? The lady that brings my farm eggs says for the last 2 weeks her hens have STOPPED laying eggs ! AND the farm lady behind her said HERS have done the same thing....they cannot attribute it to ANYTHING that they know of. What's up? Maybe the Rapture is near?
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Yes, well, when you insistently refuse to put a date on the Rapture, and when you can ascribe any event, good, bad, or indifferent to its eventual but ambiguous "coming," I guess you really don't need logic or facts, do you?
If it weren't for it being posted on an internet forum, I would think that that comment came straight outta 1800.
Which is ironic, because it's all about the Rapture being near...
Or maybe they are not experts in biology. Girl, most hens in the world, as far as I'm concerned, are giving eggs, so it must be a local infection or something like that.
Hens also have a way of (very slowly) realizing that all the eggs they lay in the nests (where you want them) disappear every day. Sometimes they'll stop laying there and find a sneakier place to lay eggs.
Survivalism in action. Great stuff.
Hmmm, my newspaper hasn't arrived. Maybe the rapture is near. This cereal tastes funny. Maybe the rapture is near. Damn, I locked my keys in my car. Maybe the rapture is near. ...
... There's nothing decent on television. Maybe the rapture is near. This cocoa tastes funny. Maybe the rapture is near. I 'm having trouble sleeping. Maybe the rapture is near...
... Zzzzzzzz. Maybe the rapture is near. Zzzzzz.
You don't actually know any farm-ladies do you?
Lying for Jesus?
Fine, I'll play your game.
It snowed this morning, maybe the rapture is near.
One of my light bulbs burned out, maybe the rapture is near.
They did'nt have my favorite bread at Subway the other day, maybe the rapture is near.
I need more hours at work, but winter is a slow time. Maybe the rapture is near.
I had to move to a new apartment, rent is nearly twice as much as it was before. maybe the rapture is near.
The other day, dryers at the laundry weren't drying my clothes very well, maybe the rapture is near.
Geez! Pathetic!
Does this have anything to do with Peter denying Jesus three times before the COCK crows?
BTW, I've had constipation for a week. I haven't laid any "eggs" either. Prayse de Lawd! It's a sign! The Rapture is nigh!
They're probably not laying because winter's coming on. It doesn't mean the world is ending--it means everything is working right in Chickenland. They're supposed to do this.
Keep their henhouse warm and well lit, and feed them plenty of nutritious food. They should lay for you. Be warned that if you induce them to lay heavily in the off season, their productive egg-laying lifespan is going to be shortened somewhat.
Well, obviously, there is a witch in the vicinity, casting spells to curse those hens. Have you observed any suspicious looking demons hovering around? You will have to horribly torture all her neighbors, and if anyone survives, it's PROOF they are a disciple of Satan (or Santa), and they just need more torture. It's all in the scriptures.
well that was in decemeber so i guess the rapture is delayed ...
and wouldnt you know it, im still getting eggs at the market.
My kid shit his pants. I just spoke to a few other parents. They said their kids have shit their pants too in the past few years.
What do you think is happening? I'm so scared yet full of joy for our Lord's coming! Maybe we'll all shit our pants for the Rapture is near!
I remember that passage from revelation:
"And in those days before the end, thy chickens will be unable to produce eggs. The evildoers and false prophets will find a scientific explanation but the real deal is that God's Wrath is nigh!" (Revelations ?:??-??)
My chickens do that when they're stressed. Last time, it was because we suddenly changed their feed.
Either that, or the Rapture!
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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