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Quote# 32912

Daily on campus, students try to legitimize their addiction to alcohol by saying “well, Jesus turned the water to wine.” Their Jesus is a hippie longhair bartender that is all too willing to feed their illicit lust for mind numbing intoxicants. They conclude, since Jesus turned water to wine, now it’s o.k. for us to go to our fraternity keg party AND GET WASTED!

Yes, many of the early American immigrants drank a lot of hooch. If they were practicing drunkenness, they were not saved and did not go to heaven!

CampusPreacher, CSE blogs 33 Comments [12/27/2007 7:44:29 PM]
Fundie Index: 3
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The Watcher

Daily on campus, students try to legitimize their addiction to alcohol by saying “well, Jesus turned the water to wine.”

I don't know many fundie party animals.


Yes, many of the early American immigrants drank a lot of hooch. If they were practicing drunkenness, they were not saved and did not go to heaven!

You don't know that. Your own dumbass theology says you don't need to stop sinning to go to Heaven. All you need to do is accept Jeebus.

12/27/2007 7:49:55 PM

Osiris

Actually you just need to accept Jesus and you can sin all you want and go to Heaven.

12/27/2007 7:54:50 PM

DavidS

They have their mind numbing intoxicants and you have your mind numbing religion.

12/27/2007 7:56:09 PM

TheManeki

Moderation in all things...including moderation.


12/27/2007 7:57:35 PM

Andrew

Did the "AND" or "GET" really need caps?

12/27/2007 8:03:30 PM

Whydontyou.org.uk

What a boring old tosspot.

12/27/2007 8:13:53 PM

J-Hay

Jesus hates drunks!

12/27/2007 8:17:47 PM

John

If they were practicing drunkenness, they were not saved and did not go to heaven!

What happened to sola fide? I guess fundies only bring that up when they want to accuse Catholics of not being Christians because they believe works are necessary for salvation.

12/27/2007 8:19:58 PM

Mister Spak

Well, Jesus did turn water into wine, and there's no way around it, in spite of your blithering.

12/27/2007 8:43:41 PM

Doctor Whom

Their Jesus is a hippie bartender? Nnnnnnoooooooooo! I suppose their Jesus also tells them to do heathenish things like feeding the needy.

12/27/2007 8:47:10 PM

Brain_In_A_Jar

I see a lot of alleged observations here, and I see some kind of conclusion at the end, but it rather appears that you forgot to join them up with some kind of logical progression. Try harder next time.

12/27/2007 8:48:00 PM

Sophie

Mister Spak; There's also the fact that it was rather apparent at the wedding feast in Cana that everyone was drinking, and many were likely drunk at the time, and Jesus said nothing of it. He actually gave the guests more wine to drink.

12/27/2007 8:51:46 PM

Mudflappus

I assume you've actually spoken with them after they died to verify this? I mean honestly. Are you so fucking arrogant that you would say that anyone is in Hell based on your word alone? He buddy, fuck you very much!

12/27/2007 8:53:27 PM



Supposedly, they were Christians and made America a "Christian country". And moreover, what happen in the last supper?. Whatever baby.

12/27/2007 8:54:51 PM

caitshidhe

okay, let's see how many stereotypical "hippie" traits your jesus possesses:

long hair--check
wears sandals--check
radical new messages of love and acceptance--check
believes that all people are equal in the eyes of god--check
believes that all people are equal, period--check
against violence and hate--check

face it, fundies. if your jesus was alive today, he'd be protesting wars, advocating gun control, and singing "give peace a chance." you'd call him a filthy hippie and want him jailed.

12/27/2007 9:17:14 PM

Old Viking

Per capita consumption of booze in the Colonial era was prodicgious. Truly awesome. Here's to them! <gulp>

As to CampusPreacher, he's just another hypocritical fundy who doubtless approves of "Judge not ..." when he's not busy judging.

12/27/2007 9:25:31 PM

Mayhem

Good Lord, he's right. These liberal hippies just think that Jeezuz is all about drinking alcohol. Rubbish, I say! Rubbish!

Excuse me, I have to go to Communion now.

12/27/2007 9:26:09 PM

Euclid

@Brain_In_A_Jar:
Exactly what I was thinking. Nureyev would have been proud to make leaps like this.

12/27/2007 9:48:30 PM

Caustic Gnostic

A glass or two is medicine for the soul.

An anti-drinker is a bigger pain in the ass than an alcoholic.

Yeah, my personal Christ is a flower child. What are you going to do about it?

12/27/2007 9:57:36 PM

Tempus

"My child, there is a time for pennance and a time for partridge."

--Teresa of Avila

I think CampusPreacher needs to take a page from her book.

12/27/2007 10:06:34 PM

werewolf

In my college days, the alcoholic beverage of choice was beer. And I never read anywhere that Jesus turned water into beer. Occasionally, we had gin. Wine, not so much.




12/27/2007 10:08:21 PM

approximate

Everybody sing....

In heaven, there ain't no beer
That's why we drink it here
And when we are gone from here
Our friends will be drinking all the beer...


12/28/2007 12:09:05 AM

Bryan65

He did? He was? WE CAN!?

And how do you know the early American immigrants DIDN'T go to heaven. Can you go up to Heaven and find out? No? Then STFU.

12/28/2007 12:15:09 AM

Damned at Random

Jesus probably had a buzz on most of the time. Before modern sanitation, the water was full of typhoid, cholera, amoebic dysentary. You pretty much drank wine or shit yourself to death.

Just sayin'

12/28/2007 12:27:38 AM

Kristy

So much for that bumper sticker I saw that says "Beer is proof god loves us and wants us to be happy."

12/28/2007 2:33:19 AM
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