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Quote# 33072

"I have read in the Bible of Unicorns. People have said to me that it shows that the KJV is faulty. Can you explain to me what those were?"

Most of the commentators wave the magic wand and transform the unicorn into a wild ox. This, of course, is done through unbelief. They don’t believe that there is such an animal as a unicorn.

Karl Lohman, http://www.learnthebible.org 35 Comments [1/1/2008 8:36:46 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
Submitted By: Illuminatalie
WTF?! || meh
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Mike

Occam's razor says you fail.

1/1/2008 8:49:51 AM

Sir Michael L. Foley

Wait. Unicorns aren't real??

1/1/2008 9:03:29 AM

werewolf

Karl has been reading "The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant" again.

It's disbelief when you state "They don't believe..."

It's unbelief if you state "Unicorns do not exist."

What did you read in "the Bible of Unicorns"? I, for one, think a Unicorn Bible is pretty cool. Can't be more insane than the KJV, can it?

1/1/2008 9:12:21 AM

Osiris

The fuck you say boy?

1/1/2008 9:18:48 AM

SSJPunk

Get one horse, a horn from a bull, and some duct tape. A cardboard wing cutout is optional.

1/1/2008 9:20:37 AM

Philbert McAdamia

Unicorns, talking snakes and asses, 4 legged bugs...

...there be dragons

1/1/2008 9:33:41 AM

davros

64 words
268 characters
actual information 0

1/1/2008 10:49:14 AM



Another idiot unable to tell the difference between fiction and reality.

1/1/2008 11:36:59 AM

Laurel

Silly me, I thought "re'em" was the actual world for "wild ox."

@ werewolf--IIRC, the passage with "re'em" translated to "unicorn" is in Job, near the stuff about Leviathan and the horse saying "Ha, ha" and other coolness.

1/1/2008 11:50:54 AM

Jacob

I'm lost.

1/1/2008 12:25:26 PM

Mister Spak

Whereas you wave the magic wand and transform the wild ox into a unicorn. What you don't know is that the unicorn is invisible and pink.

1/1/2008 12:31:58 PM

Ambrielle

Silly them, eh?

1/1/2008 12:32:55 PM

anevilmeme

Those evilutionists dig up unicorn fossils all the time but they combine them to make those fake dinosaur fossils. Yeah that must be it, the alternative would be that you are batshit insane.

1/1/2008 12:42:34 PM

Paler_Face

The only Unicorn is invisible and pink. BBHHH!

1/1/2008 1:24:40 PM

FordJano

I personnally prefer the LOLcat Bible.
http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page

1/1/2008 3:04:30 PM

flipper

I don't say the KJV is faulty because of unicorns(I like unicorns and would think it was kinda cool if they existed). I say it's faulty because it is a sucky translation faked by gutless translators to lick the dick(excuse the pun) of their GAY absolute monarch by sticking in(another pun) the "divine right of kings" and driving the king's infallability down his subject's throats(pun).

1/1/2008 3:49:28 PM

approximate

Bring on the unicorn specimen or STFU.

1/1/2008 3:52:44 PM

Darth Furious

Fuck the unicorns, what about the fucking zombies?! Huh! Where the fuck are all the zombies?

1/1/2008 4:07:28 PM

xander07

I want to read the Bible of Unicorns. Sounds awesome.

1/1/2008 6:32:50 PM

John

The KJB translators didn't know what a "re'em" is, and admitted it. At one point, they translated it as "unicorn", but left a marginal note "Or, rhinocerots". We still don't what a re'em is. The Jewish scholars who created the Greek OT translation known as the "Septuagint" translated it as "monokeros" (one-horned). We don't know why. The KJB translators just copied the Septuagint, using a word from common mythology.

The translation as "wild ox" is based mainly on similar words in other ancient Semitic languages such as Akkhadian which refer to the now-extinct wild ox. The wild ox was certainly dangerous and untamable enough to qualify for the biblical description. The word is now translated as "wild ox" in modern Hebrew.

The KJB translators themselves admitted there might be nitpicking errors of no religious substance in their work. It's only KJB nuts, mainly Americans, who have elevated the KJB to infallible scripture.

1/1/2008 6:47:28 PM

Old Viking

He's right. I've met people who don't believe in unicorns.

1/1/2008 8:21:02 PM

Gemsabarmy

No! It's not 'unicorn' it's UNICRON! He was a freaking huge Transformer. He IS in the Bible. I swear he is.

1/1/2008 8:39:34 PM

solomongrundy

@: Darth Furious

You need Matthew 27 for the zombies:

27:52 And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose,
27:53 And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.

1/1/2008 9:41:57 PM

Whydontyou.org.uk

Oh the madness. Oh the stupidity.

::faints::


1/1/2008 11:05:14 PM

Caustic Gnostic

Has anyone found even a fossil? Or how about unicorn shit? Does it have mystical properties?

Or, is everything unicornic invisible?

1/1/2008 11:41:13 PM
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