Quote# 33082

My husband bought a used Suburban a few months back. It has an alarm system. Everything is fine for a few months. Then, about 3 weeks ago, the alarm system started going off for no reason. It would run it's course then stop. Sometimes this happens several times a day, then it doesn't happen for a few days. Very odd. If we can figure out how to disconnect the crazy thing, we will. Now if it continues to go off after that, then I'll be really spooked.

But yes, I do believe Satan and his minions are putting in lots of OT these days.

Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world!

BrideOfChrist, RaptureReady 93 Comments [1/1/2008 10:47:59 PM]
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Check your battery an d electronics system. If that doesn't work, stand in front of it, and yell commanding the demons to come out.

1/1/2008 10:50:33 PM


Get out you foul demons!

1/1/2008 10:58:51 PM


First he hides car keys, then he fouls car alarms. What has the debbil got against these here automobiles, anyway?

1/1/2008 11:06:03 PM


First he hides car keys, then he fouls car alarms. What has the debbil got against these here automobiles, anyway?

1/1/2008 11:06:04 PM


My car had trouble starting recently. And after I'd take the key out of the ignition, it'd continue to try to start! DEMONS!

But actually it was just the starter, that cost me about $100. I wish my car was cool enough to have demons. :(

1/1/2008 11:17:35 PM


Did you name your car Christine?

1/1/2008 11:24:36 PM


Yes, I'm sure that it's a demon causing a common electronic malfunction.

1/1/2008 11:28:46 PM


@: Onions
I wish my car was cool enough to have demons. :(

Yeah, owning a crap car that's possessed by demons is far cooler than just owning a crap car ;-)

1/1/2008 11:30:03 PM


At last - proof that Suburbans are actually of the devil!

1/1/2008 11:33:27 PM


hmm.. I have the same problem with my car. I never suspected it could be demons. Fortunately, my demons were easily thwarted by me locking the door without activating the alarm.
Silly demons.

1/1/2008 11:34:19 PM


Wow, demons just don't seem to be trying very hard nowadays.

"You wanna go possess a kid?"

"Naah, let's just fuck with this Suburban's alarm system."

"I'm good with that. I'll buy you a Quizno's after we're done."

"Whoa, dude. There are some things that are too evil even for me."

1/1/2008 11:36:51 PM


Next time don't buy a Cheverolet.

Buy a genuine God brand car! Guaranteed to be demon-free!

P.S. The last line in the motto for the nation of Dyslexia.

1/1/2008 11:37:48 PM

D Laurier

Can we all say "Utter batshit insanity"????

1/1/2008 11:38:15 PM


Or, the motions sensor/proximity sensor is set incorrectly. Reading the manual helps some, it can be reset.

1/1/2008 11:46:41 PM


Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world!

Riiiiiiight, he still hasn't fixed your car alarm though, has he?

1/1/2008 11:59:37 PM

Old Viking

Demons. No doubt about it.

1/1/2008 11:59:55 PM


Am I right in thinking this fucktard has just conflated a broken car alarm (prob battery or connection fault?) with possession by demons?

Does she think Satans minions set off car alarms?

My head spins trying to make some form of sense here...

1/2/2008 12:00:22 AM


Occam's Razor says you're an idiot.

1/2/2008 12:09:13 AM

Mister Spak

Next thing you know satan will be putting flaming sacks of dog shit in your doorstep and ringing the doorbell. Because he has nothing better to do.

1/2/2008 12:14:20 AM


I'm glad I'm not your f***ing neighbor! That thing would drive me insane. Don't just wait for the problem to right itself, and don't just get on your knees and pray!!!! FIX IT! For the sanity of those who live around you if nothing else!! No, better yet - tell us where you live. We can all break into your car and you would be none the wiser.

Douche baggery!!!!!

1/2/2008 12:15:16 AM


Why do fundies automatically assume it's Satan trying to stop them from doing godly things? Why couldn't it be God telling them they're doing something wrong? Fundies always manage to delude themselves into believing that what they want to do is what God wants them to do. Maybe God is punishing her for buying a gas-guzzling 12 mpg 6,000 lb. Suburban. But that alternative would never occur to a holier-than-thou fundie.

1/2/2008 12:17:46 AM


A used car with a defect? Oh no!

Gotta be them demons, so bring the car to your pastor.

1/2/2008 12:34:54 AM


Maybe he's read too much Stephen King?

1/2/2008 12:45:14 AM


You are an idiot. The alarm has a short in it, or you have a cat hopping on the hood of the car, and the alarms sensitivity is set too high.


1/2/2008 1:09:09 AM

Philbert McAdamia

I've seen these demons at work -- they resemble teenage boys and the little imps will move, almost invisibly, in the dark of night, up next to an alarmed car owned by an asshole and bump it. Just enough to make the alarm go off.
Again and again and again. Not that I would ever approve of such evil goings on.

Heh heh heh

Or maybe Satan has cursed the electrical system. There's always a logical explanation.

1/2/2008 1:16:57 AM

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