"One day, there will be no Christmas, it will be Wal-Mart Day. There will be no God, besides sex. All your kids will be slime. People will have no morals. Everyone will believe the insane Darwinist theories about people evolving from monkeys. Maybe even Anarchy. Then the influential powers that be will have you right where they want you."
79 comments
Got news for you there, sparky. There is no god now. Never has been. It's just a figment of someone's superstitious imagination that people blindly continue to follow despite all the evidence to the contrary. And no god does not equal no morals. Stop being brainwashed by "the powers that be" and think for yourself.
If you make the "humans evolved from monkeys" claim you demonstrate that you have no understanding of human evolution and therefore have no argument against it except for what some upper-fundie has taught you to repeat.
Until you have an understanding of evolution how can you refute it? I mean, don't you want to decide for yourself and use that blessed 'freedom' that you like to fight for?
People will have no morals. Everyone will believe the insane Darwinist theories about people evolving from monkeys.
US vs. Denmark:
Belief in evolution: Denmark = 2 x US
Murder Rate: US = 4 x Denmark
A similar result would be found for most other European countries. So much for fldpan's theory.
Paranoid much? I can't see it as Wal Mart day since Wal Mart is a Christian corporation (or tries to be). You say people will have no morals. This is not true, it is just that other people do not carry your morals. Can you prove there will be no god? It must not be much of a deity if it will cease to exist.
{ Caustic Gnostic -
Well, I do believe it's the most fun a person can have without laughing.
Thank you, Nostradumbass.
P.S. There's no better example of a pretentious poseur than someone who uses the term 'the powers that be'.
"One more push, Ms. Jones...ah, there we go, success! Congratulations, Ms. Jones! It's a...uh...OH MY SEX! YOU JUST SPAWNED A SLIME!"
The time would be easy to know, for then mankind would have become as the Great Old Ones; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and revelling in joy. Then the liberated Old Ones would teach them new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom. Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!
There will be no God, besides sex
So will that make asexuals atheists? And will bisexuals be polytheists? Will erectile dysfuction be considered a crisis of faith? Will we see a reformation-style division over spit vs swallow? Will there be a sex papcy? If so, how will we elect a leader for it? Will masterbation be considered idolatry, or prayer? In the case of the latter, will there be some sort of sex mecca we have to face while doing it? Will it be the Playboy mansion? If not, why not? If sex equals God, does that make any babies that are produced demi-Gods? Will paying a hooker count as tithing?
...
Erm... I sense i've gotten a little carried away. You see what happens when you offer these speculations to someone with a mind that is both questioning AND perverse?
"One day, there will be no Christmas, it will be Wal-Mart Day."
Wrong. Happy Solstice, asshole.
"One day, there will be no Christmas, it will be Wal-Mart Day."
I thought every day was Wal-Mart day in the bibble belt.
"There will be no God, besides sex."
At my place yes.
"All your kids will be slime."
If by slime you mean well-adjusted, non-judgemental, tolerant and reasonable little atheists, then yes.
"Everyone will believe the insane Darwinist theories about people evolving from monkeys."
Which would be crazy since there is no theory of Darwin's that states anything of the sort.
"Maybe even Anarchy."
In the UK? Johnny Rotten was right!
"Then the influential powers that be will have you right where they want you."
If they want me in a 3-way with Zac Efron and Brent Corrigan that will be just fine with me.
Actually, if you translate this into English (the English spoken by normal people), you'd realize that he's describing a utopian future. The references to the mythical character Jesus in the Winter Solstice holiday will disappear (maybe it will even return to its older names such as Yule, Solis Invictus, and Saturnalia). Nobody will believe in Biblegod (and hopefully not Qurangod either). People will adopt true moral values and reject the backward immoral unnatural anti-family agenda of the gay-bashing fundies (afterall, a book that contains instructions on how to rape your sex slave is not a guide a morality). Everybody would finally accept that Evolution is true and reject the insane Talking Snake Theory. Maybe we won't even need a government.
I personally look forward to this particular future.
1. Christmas was pagen, not christian.
"Be fruitful and multiply," jackass. God encourages sex. And that's only ONE sentence of your argument that's hateful, ignorant, and wrong.
One day, there will be no Christmas, it will be Wal-Mart Day.
There will be no God, besides sex.
All your kids will be slime
People will have no morals.
Everyone will believe the insane Darwinist theories about people evolving from monkeys.
Maybe even Anarchy.
Then the influential powers that be will have you right where they want you."
one day, there will be only people who believe in christ and the bible as the only truth and the only explanation of reality... and everyone trying to explain things otherwise by this hard thingie called science will be persecuted, tortured, and killed.
one day....
oh wait. we already had this. it was called the christian dark ages.
so to all christians, have fun in the middle ages!
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
