Abbas: What would you say to the man who says that his thought life is private and doesn't affect anyone else?
Fred: Well, I would say that's crazy. There's nothing in the Bible that would lead us to believe that. Christ would never agree with that. I know that some of the times when I was right in the very act of looking at, not pornography, but lingerie ads or some of those things, my wife would run down the stairs because she had just had a dream where she's being chased by Satan and she couldn't find me in the dream to protect her. I really think that the effects of my sin were causing my protection to be taken off of her.
72 comments
Dude, if your wife is having dreams that Satan is chasing her and causes her to come screaming from the room, then she needs medical help. You masterbating to Victoria's secret has nothing to do with it.
Whaahhhhaaaaaaaaa haaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Um, you don't really expect me to believe any this is actually real, do you?
This is the main reason why I'm glad that I no longer believe the ancient mythology collection known as the "Holy" Bible. If the Biblegod Yahweh (or Jehovah) actually existed, it would be like living in 1984.
I am glad that I'm now a Freethinker, as I don't have to be scared of any fictitious totalitarian dictators in the sky.
Allow me to dip into my Big Bag O' Armchair Psychology just for shits and giggles.
- You often look at lingerie ads for erotic purposes.
- Your wife has caught you doing this in the past.
- Your wife begins having dreams in which you have abandoned her.
DIAGNOSIS:
C'mon now. The truth is,
a) You were looking at teh pr0n.
b) Your wife didn't run downstairs - she waddled off the couch in the den.
c) Your Bible ain't been cracked since Reagan was still breathin'.
"I really think that the effects of my sin were causing my protection to be taken off of her."
Or, more likely, you made this entire story up.
Or, you took a free moment when your wife was sleeping to look at lingerie models, she woke up from a frightening vivid dream and cam looking for you to tell you about it, and your guilt connected the two.
I know that some of the times when I was right in the very act of looking at, not pornography, but lingerie ads or some of those things...
Doesn't Xinanity tell us all sins are equal? If you're choking the chicken to lingerie ads then you might as well be strangling babies in the Lord's eyes.
Er, just sayin'. It's an image I wish I'd never thought up.
Wow, so the bible has moved from a description of the acts of a mythical being into a overview of all existence. Well lets see, the bible doesn't lead us to believe that we can harness electricity and use it to display a series of dots that happen to create the image of a webpage. But here I am, looking at my computer screen.
Fundies read into coincidences too much. Its a good trait for a detective, but not if it conflicts with rational sense.
Now I supposed that reading the Bible and being barked at about hell every Sunday by a Fundy pastor since she was a small child probably didn't contribute to your wife's nightmares?
I don't need Satan dreams to know when my husband is looking at the pr0n. It's whenever he closes the office door!
"I know that some of the times when I was right in the very act of looking at, not pornography, but lingerie ads or some of those things, my wife would run down the stairs because she had just had a dream where she's being chased by Satan and she couldn't find me in the dream to protect her. I really think that the effects of my sin were causing my protection to be taken off of her."
Well, I would say that's crazy.
Actually, I'm pretty sure that there are several quotes in the Bible that quite clarly state that what goes on in private that does not cause harm is thier own business, and you really don't have any right to condemn them.
Oh, and you and your wife are crazy. Seek help.
So God will send you to hell because you were looking at lingerie ads? Ok, why would God make people sexual creatures and then punish them for having sexual thoughts? That sounds pretty unfair. Seriously, if the God you worship does this, then the God you worship is a major ass.
You guys are missing something important. "some of the times when". That means it happened more than once, which means this is a repeatable, empirically testable effect. Since it's only "some of the times" there must be some other variable involved as well, perhaps simply whether Satan was attacking at the time. Of course he doesn't mention if his wife had these kinds of dreams at other times. Hmmm.
If this guy can be tracked down, have the police look in on the family. Egomaniacs like this should raise a big red flag of murder suicide and the like. In the past week we in the D.C. area saw a mother murder her four daughters because they were possesed by the devil. She probably thought they would be better off dead than sassing her during homeschool.
So....
its late, and your wifes sleeping? and you decided to stay up and masturbate to lingerie instead havin some alone time with the missus?
your sex life is dead. now im not saying knockin one out isnt healthy, it is, but usually its the choice when sex isnt available. and if your gonna do a solo with the organ might as well get some good pr0n instead of lingerie.
so whats the matter with the sex life? probally cause blindfolding and silk ties while using a dildo on ur wife as u shag her arse is seen as ungodly...
good luck with the missionary....
Wow. Satanic visions, sin, subservience of women to men, disdain for all sexuality, superstition...Every word in this quote means 'fundie.'
I totally agree that your wife is manipulating you. She wakes up in the middle of the night and her husband is gone. She thinks "that filthy sinner is at it again!" so she starts to rant about Satan, so that he feels guilty and stops. She thinks she's saving her husband from the devil, without actually talking about the situation and possibly insulting him. Or having to have sex with him.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
