IF GOD DOSNT EXIST THEN WHOS JESUSS DAD?
114 comments
A) Joseph
B) Whoever Mary was sleeping with on the side
C) Jesus is largely, if not completely, fictional... so, nobody.
D) CAPS LOCK 4 JESUS!!1
So close! So close ...
...but so far.
If you read Mathew, Jesus is dexcended THROUGH JOSEPH from Solomon, son of King David
If you read Luke, Joseph is descended from Nathan, son of King David.
so if his father wasn't Joseph, it might have bee the other Joseph.
{ LabRat
if his father wasn't Joseph, it might have bee the other }
Hahaha. If his daddy wasn't Joe, it was another guy by the same name.
CONGRATULATIONS YOU'VE JUST DESTROYED THE ENTIRE ATHEIST WORLDVIEW IN A SINGLE SENTENCE HAVE A BISCUIT
Moron. Now if you nice folks will excuse me, i'm going to have a little lie down. Writing entirely in caps really does give the old IQ points a pummeling, don't you find?
It is a wise father that knows his own child.
Wm Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice ", Act 2 scene 2
@Jacob
John the Baptist was born to Mary's friend/cousin/sister, Elizabeth. See Luke 1:57
As for OP...
A handsome goatherder named Achmed. Mary lied to cover up her adultery.
While Mary did seek out Biggus Dickus- going by the principle of "By name, by nature"- he was more interested climbing the wanks of the Woman soldiewy, which is why she had to make do with Naughtius Maximus.
Joseph: Sure, she was already pregnant by the time we got married, but an angel visited me and told me God did it, so I'm cool with that.
Translation: Yeah, I kind of jumped the gun. My bad.
Everyone thinks that if they had a time machine they'd go back to the birth of Jesus.
I did much the same, except when I finished mine I went back to 9 months before.
Little bit of wine, chocolate and Barry White....
Well I guess Mary didn't tell Joseph the whole story:
Jospeh:"What do you mean pregnant, we haven't..."
Mary:"No, eeeh, its ok you see... eeeeeh, its the son of god, yes, yes, that is it, the son of god!"
A black dude.
Now you're fucked.
Jesus probably existed: theories that he didn't strain one's credulity. I am not at all convinced that Joseph did. Mark doesn't know who Jesus' father was and has him referred to as "Son of Mary" - which is an implied insult: you're a bastard. Joseph was more likely a later invention to give Jesus' family background some respectability - couldn't have the Saviour of the world raised buy a single mum, could we?
Mary my well have married later, giving birth to the "brothers" named in Mark 6 and Matthew 13. Who THEIR father was is quite unknown. There is good support for the claim that Mary had a relationship (not necessarily abusive) with a Roman soldier called Pantera and he was the father of Jesus.
As a progressive Christian I take it as read that the Virgin Birth tradition is entirely legendary.
"IF GOD DOSNT EXIST THEN WHOS JESUSS DAD?"
image
The plot that is a miracle of the universe? But(t) of course! [/John Joseco] >:D
Fundies such as ifelchgod here are the Horse's Arse, therefore...! X3
@Justanotheratheist
"Carlos, a taxi driver from Mexico City."
...or his brother, Jesus ...! X3
I dunno. Who's Jesus? No, seriously. Absent the modern invention of DNA analysis, even absent any remains that could be identified as Jesus, we are never going to know. But hey, that was some story that Mary told Joseph, right?
(*Clicking on quote link, it leads to a nonexistent domain *)
If your J-boy 'exists', why doesn't your s(h)ite?!
Atheists - Infinity +1. Fundie Christains - 0.
Checkmate, fundies.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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