I have an idea and I think it could make me a fortune (of the spiritual kind, of course!)
Since fundies hate the idea of sexual pleasure, even when they must engage in "it" to create little fundies (praise Jeebus!) and hate their filthy sex parts, then they need something to take the pleasure away. For exactly this reason, the primary target for my product is America's Bible Belt.
We all know infibulation is both illegal (damn liberals, preventing us taking away our daughter's womanhood) and messy, and only those crrazy Jewbies would remove part of the much superior phallus, then something else is needed to remove all temptation.
Fear not, fundies - this is where your friendly Pastor Rot comes in (though not literally, you understand, for that would be a sin).
I have invented a sexual lubricant that on first glance appears to be another on of those thrice-damned "fun" lubricants you can find in any of those hell-bound "chemists".
But... mine is different. Its base ingredients are sand, fire ants and ground glass with a sprinkling of cayenne pepper to get that attractive red colour so much like the blood of Jeebus.
The idea is that it is applied to both fornicator's genitalia before intercourse. This is 100% guaranteed to produce a burning pain during "it" and therefore ensuring no sinful pleasure is derived from this act of teh debbil.
The beauty of it is that you can still breed for the Lawd our Gawd AND know what it is like to suffer like your lord and master, Jeebus.
I'm thinking of calling it "Fundielube". Whadda ya think?
~ Pastor Rotty: praising all in Jeebus, and possibly the Great Celestial Hamster. Goddidit!
