A few nights ago, I was putting my 6 year old daughter to bed and I told her the story of 2 monkeys. 1 DID NOT believe in God. The other did. So they had this crazed conversation where the monkey that did not believe in God came up with this CRAZYY story about how billions and billions of years ago, out in the middle of nowhere, before their were planets or stars, or ANYTHING, their was this HUGE explosion from these crazy galactic gases that pretty much made the universe that we live in now. The universe runs with seemless perfection. And little tinsee tiny cells became bigger and bigger and then they swam and then they walked and then they got smarter and smarter... and thats where that dumb monkey thought we all came from.
She looked at me and without hesitation asked " thats stupid.. where did the gas come from?" I'm proud to say that my little girl has a God given wisdom that exceeds that of an "educated" fool such as Richard Dawkins.
Matthew 18:3 " Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." -Jesus Christ
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Funny, I've read that the gases were converted from the energy that was always there.
EDIT: The more I read this quote, the more I hate it. Is it really THAT hard to open up a secular science book? And quit filling your kid's head with strawman nonsense.
Its not a crazy story if the evidence supports the first monkey...
The Universe does not run with "seemless" perfection. We have something called entropy. We will eventually live in a universe with no energy at all. Perfection would be a cycle of energy with no loss at all. The universe has a start and a finish.
The tiny cells did not become bigger and bigger. They joined with more cells to form complex creatures superior to the individual cells at achieving survival.
As for the "gas". You fail at understanding E=MC2. The entire UNIVERSE of energy at your finger tips and you would also create a ass tonne of matter. (I.e Gas)
I suggest you actually read Richard Dawkins. The man may be kind of a dick but he atleast can back up his arguments with information as opposed to telling us a tale of how you spun a story with bias to a child who did'nt know that you can convert energy to mass provided there is sufficient amounts of it.
Yes, yes...... Brainwash her well.
And soon you'll have another idiot Christian clone to work at the McDonalds drive-through.
I'd like to reiterate the "where did god come from?" question, but I'm sure you'll hear this from your daughter within say, two years?
Furthermore, I think it's great how you're encouraging evolution with your child. What with the talking monkeys who are debating the origins of the universe. That just screams evolution to me. Good work!
Let me tell you a story of 2 monkeys. One monkey had the power of reason, the other was a fundie. So they had this crazed conversation where the fundie monkey did not believe in observed reality came up with this CRAZYY story about you 6,000 years ago an invisible sky pixie formed the Earth and universe in 6 days. And this invisible sky pixie (being a real prick) decided to test the faith of his subjects by making the entire universe appear to be 13.6 billion years old when it emerged from singularity in a big bang. To further screw with is subjects he buried all kinds of fossils in layers so they appeared life evolved over 4 billion years. The other monkey laughed his ass off at this bullshit story and asked the funtard monkey where the sky pixie from.
I can only hope that, one day, your daughter comes home from school, listens to your fundie bullshit, and says, "that's stupid...there's absolutely no proof of a creator god whatsoever".
"1 DID NOT believe in God. The other did. So they had this crazed conversation where the monkey that did not believe in God came up with this CRAZYY story about how billions and billions of years ago, out in the middle of nowhere, before their were planets or stars, or ANYTHING, their was this HUGE explosion from these crazy galactic gases that pretty much made the universe that we live in now. The universe runs with seemless perfection. And little tinsee tiny cells became bigger and bigger and then they swam and then they walked and then they got smarter and smarter... and thats where that dumb monkey thought we all came from."
Yeah, glad you taught her to think for herself.
"She looked at me and without hesitation asked " thats stupid.. where did the gas come from?" I'm proud to say that my little girl has a God given wisdom that exceeds that of an "educated" fool such as Richard Dawkins."
WOW! She came up with that all on her own? Cuz the story you just told shows there was CLEARLY no prompting or anything!
Last night, I told my five year old son the story of how an Invisible Sky Pixie farted on dirt, and that's how Abrahamic fundamentalists were created. And he told me "That's stupid. First of all, you are aware that you have no children, nor indeed a wife or girlfriend either? And that this entire anecdote is just a strawman in which your indoctrination of a small child is somehow supposed to demonstrate comprehension of some higher truth, as long as said small child agrees with you?" So I replied, "Yes son. And if some day I do have a child, I hope he turns out just like you and isn't afraid to tell people when they're making up crazy shit." And he said "That's no language to use in front of a five year old." So I said "Shut up you. You don't exist."
See, I can invent allegories, just like Jesus!
THE UNIVERSE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!
...Probably. Scientists are still investigating (and I'm only an English major) but from what I understand it was probably created something like the way MysticalChicken described it.
And Dawkins has a univeristy degree, while your daughter does not. Meaning he probably knows a lot more about science and the probable origins of the universe than she does.
So, he wins.
1) THE UNIVERSE IS 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% CHAOS!!!
Well 598898 (catchy moniker by the way), as allegories go, it's hardly Animal Farm. I heard about a good example of an allegory once. Dammit, the name is on the tip of my tongue. But anyway, it's just a fairly harmless little yarn as long as you don't interpret it as literal truth or anythi-
Ah, I just remembered, it was called Genesis.
"Whoa, Daddy - where did the gas come from?"
"Never mind that, 598898 1/2 - it's just the beans from dinner, excuse me."
Which one of those monkeys said; "And He created us in his image."
?
Maybe someday, Dawkins will be confronted by your daughter. He will be able to provide no response to her probing questions and wise insights other than, "Yes. I think I will have fries with that".
598898: Seriously, its not too late to prevent this little scenario from going down. You can save your daughter. Send her to vocational school or at least consider picking up an application for the assembly line at Subway where fries are not served.
So you lied to her, just to make her biased against actually learning anything remotely non-Biblical.
Good job. You've just ensured that we have a supply of McDonald's employees in the generations to come.
His daughter is smart. Thats the one part of the story he just made up.
Ok, posters, please note that the writer of this was an atheist when he told his daughter this. He presented it in a more valid way than he's told it to us here. He was not entirely accurate about the science, but he told his daughter what he thought was the truth. Seriously, get your facts straight before you spew 'Lying for Jesus'.
Who here has said the universe runs with seamless perfection? Some planets spin faster than others, some orbit faster, our axis wobbles, stars die...violently...mostly because of the colossal nuclear reactions that fuel them. Where is this order and perfection? It works, no one denies that, but to call it "perfect" is a bit much.
Well my 5 year old is even wiser. We're agnostic and don't tell the kids about religion either way but he told his brother that ALL gods are pretend.
He found out about gods from his brother who loves mythology so we didn't even teach him that.
She was right. That shit is retarded.
You are a moron and your six (12) year old child knows it.
Congratulations, I guess.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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