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toothache

[citation needed]

aaa

If it had any illustrations about the sex, there will be more readers.

Monty

What else has man put in the bible that is not of god?

Doctor Fishcake

The human body! Oh noes!

Deep Search

Not nudity! If humans were meant to be nude then they'd be born that-- Oh, wait.

Niobe

I agree, the son of Noah covered up his father's nudity and God rewarded him for it.


Oh wait...

Mr Smith

I have to get me an illustrated bible!

Prager

@ Mr Smith: It's not illustrated, but try this out. It's good for a laugh.

http://www.thebricktestament.com/

David B.

Yup, man - not God - put in the nudity.

And the talking snakes, bigotry, jingoism, pseudo-history, burning bushes, miracles, prophecies, trippy dream sequences and a hell of a lot else.

When the inspired pen was put to parchment or papyrus (paper is a much later invention), the bible consisted of a number of common-sense rules covering living in a group.

Then Marketing got involved, and they ran it past Legal a few times, then Accounting decided it was uneconomic to produce unless the margins were increased by the introduction of a 'tithe'. This meant the project took way longer than expected so they skipped most of the testing and shipped it while it was still in beta, hence the inconsistencies and inaccuracies. Plus, of course, it was now so unpopular that they had to make it a mandatory upgrade and remove support for the previous version or no-one would use it!

The rest, as they say, is history. Or in this case, mythology.

Amanda

So in God's version, everyone is born with their clothes on? Adam and Eve put on fig leaves over clothes? Noah got drunk and his son looked upon him and got in trouble even though Noah was fully clothed? Hmm...

Mister Spak

The bible has mistakes? Who'd a thunk?

Paler_Face

Because everyone in the bible was born with their clothes on!

Nirjuana

First you tell us that Bible is the word of God and then you tell us that everything suspicious/bad is added by man?

GigaGuess

So if man can corrupt that about the Bible, what else can he corrupt? Is it really the work of God, then? Or the work of men? Please, I eagerly await an answer.

JustinGG

And on the 6th day God created for Adam classic khakis, primarily made from cotton, with a plain front, long, deep pockets for a wallet, and a strong, sturdy belt loop to keep them up. And He saw that it was good.

He then created the button down shirt from finely twilled wool, with 3-1/4" long button collar points, a front pocket, and button up cuffs, so that Adam could wear his sleeves at the wrist or elbow. And He saw that it was good.

Then He proclaimed "let thy garments be available in Small, Medium, Large, and X-Large so that others might fit into them comfortably." And it was so. And He proclaimed, "Let thy garments be available in various colours so that you can mix and match, and make a nice little wardrobe." And it was so.

Then God observed what brilliant fashion He had created and opened a store with which to sell his creations. He created displays, and "thin mirrors," and store clerks to tell Adam "That looks so good on you. Like really." And God saw great profit, and expanded to a chain. And he saw that it was good.

Then the Snake approached Adam and Eve, and told them of a great fabric that even God could not wear. And the Snake showed Adam polyester, and sin was introduced to the world. And God called to Adam "How can you dress in such tacky fashion?" And God expelled Adam and Eve from Eden forever to wander in sweat pants, and tube tops, in a land He called Alabama.

Years later God looked upon his fashion culture, and saw that it was corrupted. His creations were being created in sweat shops, and sold for next to nothing in places called "Wal-Mart." And He saw that to save money, clothing was being made from combinations of cotton, and lycra, and wool, and polyester. And God said "Thou shalt not mix fabrics. It won't breathe well." And God condemned the gays because they had good taste, and yet they profited from this blasphemy.

God commanded his outlet manager Noah to collect two of each garment, and store them away on an Ark to be rereleased as "retro" fashions later, as he flooded the marketplace with cheap imitations, and black market knock-offs. And the fashion world was corrupted evermore. Then God showed Noah a rainbow, a sign to Noah that He would never delve into the fashion industry again, and that some colours really do clash.

This is the story of the God of the Gap. Amen.

Stardrake

JustinGG wins SIX Internets!

NonProphet

JustinGG, that was a thread-winner. Well done, mate.

www.evolvedrational.com

FAIL

Alfred

But I thought that you believed the Bible was the "infallible, inerrant, inspired" word of your god. Then how did "man" interfere with it?

GigaGuess

@JustinGG

Marry me. I command you.

And man wrote the Bible and God didn't make us with a rob or a dress. And by the way, how many inconvenient verses are there in the "inerrant" word of God?. GIVE UP.

David B.

*Applauds JustinGG*

Xotan

Cite your evidence for this, please.

Of course this means that nothing in the bible can be trusted as being the true, inerrant word of gawd. Potentially everything in it could have been altered by man to suit his own ends.

Just like atheists and agnostics have been saying.

Glad we've finally come to agree on this.

Old Viking

It doesn't matter who put the nudity in as long as you remember to dog-ear the pages.

tracer

Ah, good old CAPalert.

As the old Life [TM] Cereal commercial noted, "He won't eat it, he hates everything."