I say, you guys have to get two cells to evolve from the [primordial] soup - of the opposite sex, in the same place, at the same time. It's a big world, you know, cells are kind of small - they've got to find each other.
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Kent, you do know that there aren't male and female cells, and that cells don't reproduce sexually, don't you?
I love this quote because it means I know more about evolution than somebody with a Ph.D. I feel so clever!
Oh wait, he studied Christian Education, not biology.
And his thesis was an absolute joke which came from a sham university.
It's almost as though the man has absolutely no qualification to be educating people on evolution.
You heard it here first, folks.
It is impossible for cells to reproduce asexually.
Bacterial colonies are a figment of your imagination.
Kent thinks he's an expert on cells because he lives in one.
Oh look out! Big Bubba has that look in his eye again, Kent, and he doesn't care if you're out of K-Y jelly.
cells are kind of small - they've got to find each other.
The first cells in the primordial soup would have been bacteria. The earliest bacteria probably would have reproduced asexually, like most modern archaebacteria. Sexual reproduction probably began as cannibalism; ingesting another bacterium's DNA. The invention of sexual reproduction is one of the Great Moments in Evolution.
Modern bacteria can sometimes reproduce sexually; but they only have one sex, so there's no such thing as "opposite sex". They're all gay! 8-O
I was going to say this must be a Poe. Nobody can really be that stupid. Then I noticed that it had Kent Hovind's name on it.
I think I know why fundies object to evolution (besides the "it does not fit the Biblical timetable" thing). Primordial life was all gay!
The fact that you don't know shit about mitosis should be proof enough for anyone that you don't know shit about anything you talk about.
Too bad the people who listen to you are even more ignorant than you are.
From the same quotes page
"I have heard that the cable TV system is going to be set up where not only can you watch the TV, the TV can watch you to monitor what is in your room. Kinda like Orwell's 1984. Big Brother is watching, course in our case it will be Big Sister [Ma Bell?] [.....] I'd suspect the technology is here where the TV can watch you, even if you have it shut off, your TV can watch you to see what is going on."
What a dipshit!
"I say, you guys have to get two cells to evolve from the [primordial] soup - of the opposite sex, in the same place, at the same time. It's a big world, you know, cells are kind of small - they've got to find each other."
o_O
Why, why, why does anyone ever believe even a word this nitwit says or writes?!? I get the impression that he cannot convey ten words without either deliberately lying or conveying the most ludicrously stupid (and easily avoidable) factual untruths. Yet people actually frellin' worship this criminal nutcase!
I wonder, if we sent an expedition to the centre of Kunt's head, and then shouted, would it echo because it's empty, or not echo because it's full of shit?
Makes sense. I'm man enough to admit when I've been defeated.
There really was a Creator, and he was the Unintelligent Designer.
EDIT: Scrap that and give the internet directly to Meromorph.
That's EXACTLY right, Kent, because cells never EVER reproduce asexually to---
oh, shit.
It's those damned pesky scientific FACTS getting in the way of your argument again, isn't it? That's okay. Just ignore them, and maybe they're go away. Like they taught you to do with bullies in grade school.
@ tracer I couldn't really say, but it would be the kind of bacterias that quickly grow immune to anti-biotics.
The process is definately an odd form of reproduction. The cells link up and then swap around bits of DNA, so when they mitosis occurs they're are two different sorts of the same bacteria.
Amazing! Learning is fun!
One word: mitosis. Dr. Dino should have looked it up before redefining stupid once again.
Oh... I almost forgot to second Meromorph's win. Sir, you effin' ROCK!
I'm becoming more and more sure Kent Hovind is a very elaborate Poe. He went to prison for the sake of the joke! That's dedication.
The alternative -- that he's serious -- becomes less and less bearable to think about every day.
Kent, it's time you learned a new word: "Mitosis."
Of course, I don't expect a lot of self-education from someone who's become a professional prison bitch.
EDIT: Damn, Parallax beat me to it. Ah, well.
We should find out where Kent Hovind is imprisoned and send him a care package. And by care package I mean a jar of k-y mixed with some sand. And gay porn magazines. Then send his cell a viagra/steroid cocktail. For great turd stuffing justice!!
Wow...waaaaaay to much coffee this morning....
@tracer:Which species of bacteria are capable of sexual reproduction?
It depends on your definition of sexual reproduction. None produce germ cells (eggs and sperm) as in multi-celled animals and plants. But two individual bacteria can merge, exchange genetic material and redivide in a process called "conjugation", which I think is often called "sexual reproduction", though it technically isn't. I can't name species off the top of my head, but you can probably Google 'bacteria conjugation' for specifics. I don't know if the earliest bacteria could conjugate, though.
You can tell which call is what gender by which one has the dress on.
Seriously...cell gender?
Oh Kent, is there anything you don't not know?
Man, that whole qoute collection is comedy gold:
"Probably, after the Flood, the Tower of Babel took place. God put them into different language groups. They spread out. Those that spoke French went one way. Those that spoke German went a different way. Those that spoke Spanish went a different way."
"I did not even know what being a humanist meant. I was only sixteen, and the brain doesn't even start developing until about twenty."
"Jesus grew up under Roman rule, and he didn't go around blowing up Roman tanks and burning down bridges."
Fail much at life? Oh yeah, it's Hovind.
Good Nothing, man, cells don't have gender. Asexual reproduction, it's the same way human cells grow.
Hey, Mr. "I've taught high school biology." Surely you've heard of binary fission, haven't you? Haven't you? Oh that's right, you actually don't know anything about science, and you're a GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING ASSKISSING CUNTLAPPING LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Single celled organisms reproduce asexually (by copying their genetic material and then dividing in half). Sexual reproduction came much later.
It's true what the song says, Kent Hovind is a fucktard who has never passed a science class.
Either that or he knows better and is willfully lying because he knows that his main audience is too stupid and uneducated to catch him at it.
"I say, you guys have to get two cells to evolve from the [primordial] soup - of the opposite sex, in the same place, at the same time. It's a big world, you know, cells are kind of small - they've got to find each other."
Whether or not two cells evolved the way you describe is the least of your troubles, Kentypoos. Where you are right now, your only concern should be this:
How you're going to prevent Bubba from finding you in your shared cell. It's a small place, and thus trying to prevent him from bumraping you again tonight.
>:D X3
I've heard of that Hovind guy before, but this is...I mean...oh, stuff it. It's fourth - grade biology where I come from. Fourth. Grade. That means ten-year-olds know that cells reproduce by dividing. Does this guy seriously claim to be a scientist?
This guy not only claims to be a scientist, but to have taught science for 16 years.
Based on this, former students of Hovind's must include supersport, Carico and Cassiterides.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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