Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Quote# 35528

Secularism is a religion. Ask any athiest. Their veins explode, which is evidence that you've offended their god. Agnostics are just people who can't make up their mind, kind of like a shopper at wal-mart who takes 20 minutes to park because he refuses to park anywhere other than the spot closest to the store. America's new "golden calf" is money and socialistic crusades. And America will go down with it, just like Rome. Good riddance.

Dan, ABC News Political Blogs 54 Comments [2/27/2008 5:47:45 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
Submitted By: Seabhag
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2 3
Leo

"Agnostics are just people who can't make up their mind, kind of like a shopper at wal-mart who takes 20 minutes to park because he refuses to park anywhere other than the spot closest to the store."

What the f*ck does agnostism have to do with choosing a parking spot?

2/27/2008 5:51:32 AM

Durane

Yes, my veins explode under certain conditions, like 600 kPa diastolic blood pressure. Doesn't say a shitload of fuck about my religiosity.

2/27/2008 5:52:54 AM

arrogantatheist

No, you idiot, atheists get mad when you accuse them of being religious because it is so flippantly ignorant.

Also, money and socialistic crusades? Isn't money closer associated with capitalism?

2/27/2008 5:53:12 AM

Osiris

Bald is not a hair color!

2/27/2008 6:14:49 AM

cyborgtroy

"Ask any athiest."

UM, no, it's not.

"Their veins explode, which is evidence that you've offended their god"

I don't have one...

And being agnostic is more like the shopper at Wal-Mart who can't decide which brand of yogurt to get.

2/27/2008 6:18:21 AM

SpiderWeb

"Their veins explode, which is evidence that you've offended their god."

no, it's not. they don't have a god to offend. why is this concept so hard to understand?

2/27/2008 6:26:00 AM

Mog

"Agnostics are just people who can't make up their mind, kind of like a shopper at wal-mart who takes 20 minutes to park because he refuses to park anywhere other than the spot closest to the store."

Erm, aren't those the people who have their mind made up, and are, indeed, dead set on getting that parking spot?

You can't even make a flawed analogy right.

cyborgtroy: Weight Watchers-brand White Chocolate Raspberry yogurt is the best. But I'm still an agnostic :-P

2/27/2008 6:31:34 AM

Mattural Selection

I'm with SpiderWeb. How can they blunder thru life without being able to comprehend simple concepts. I understand that humanity went for thousands of years without the concept of zero, maybe this is similar. The fact that people can't comprehend the idea of the not being a god, or that some people believe that isn't one.

Still I hope this time they can realise it a lot quicker than a few thousand years.

2/27/2008 6:34:47 AM

logicprevails

That was probably the stupidest analogy I've seen here in...days. Thank you for sharing, Dan.

2/27/2008 6:37:36 AM

antichrist

Their veins explode, which is evidence that you've offended their god
And what god would that be? The flying spaghetti monster?

America's new "golden calf" is money and socialistic crusades
Yet you guys worship Kent Hovind, who worships this golden calf of money. And all the other rich evangelists out there.

BTW socialism is sort of opposite of worshiping money.

2/27/2008 6:57:56 AM

SweetViolet

Pocket Dictionary for Fundies(TM)

Religious person: one who believes in a god or gods
Agnostic: one who believes in a supreme being, but hasn't necessarily chosen one to worship
Atheist: one who doesn't believe gods exist
Heathen: one who doesn't believe in your god

Print this out and keep it in your wallet, behind your "I am a Christian, Jesus love me!" reminder card, for quick reference.


2/27/2008 7:09:06 AM

Detrs

Are you really that unable to conceive of a life without worship? What a horrible way to live.

2/27/2008 7:23:22 AM

approximate

Secularism is not a religion. That was decided by a court in the 80's. You don't read much, do you?

Atheists do not have gods, fuckstick. They don't believe in them.

Your analogy regarding Agnostics suck, and so do you.

Chasing money and Socialism are at odds with each other, but you're too fucking stupid to realize it.

If America goes down, it will be the doing of fucking idiots like you who put those fucking idiots in office for the last eight years.

Now, STFU and go sit in the corner, retard.

2/27/2008 7:29:54 AM

Professor M

If only socialism were as popular in the U.S. as the fundies all seem to think...

2/27/2008 7:32:54 AM

BreeStar

@cyborgtroy: Actually, being agnostic myself, I'd describe it as the shopper at Wal-Mart that bypasses the yogurt altogether for the pudding since they really don't care about yogurt at all.

2/27/2008 8:38:23 AM

Thammuz

"America will go down, just like Rome"
What do they have in common? at the moment of their downfall they were both CHRISTIAN!

2/27/2008 8:47:32 AM

Frege

What is so hard to understand about the word atheism? It's the negated form of theism, ie the direct opposite of beleiving in one or more divinities or deities.
Now, don't get confused and think that satan is the opposite of god. The opposite of god is no god. The opposite of having an apple is not having a banana, it's having no apple at all.

2/27/2008 9:15:28 AM



They explode because you're offending them, not somebody on their behalf. Can't you stop projecting your stupid point of view on others?

2/27/2008 9:39:15 AM

David B.

"Secularism is a religion"

Secularism (noun):

"Exclusion of religion from public affairs: the belief that religion and religious bodies should have no part in political or civic affairs or in running public institutions, especially schools." (Encarta)
"Indifference to or rejection or exclusion of religion and religious considerations." (Merriam-Webster)
"The belief that religion should not be involved with the ordinary social and political activities of a country." (Cambridge International)
"The belief that religion should be removed and separate from all state or civil affairs or functions, esp. in public education." (Wordsmyth)
"Religious skepticism or indifference. The view that religious considerations should be excluded from civil affairs or public education." (American Heritage)
"A term applied specially (see Secular) to the system of social ethics associated with the name of G. Holyoake (q.v.). As the word implies, secularism is based solely on considerations of practical morality with a view to the physical, social and moral improvement of society. It neither affirms nor denies the theistic premises of religion, and is thus a particular variety of utilitarianism." (Encyclopaedia Britannica, 1911)

Wow, that's a century of fail right there!

2/27/2008 10:41:41 AM

toothache

"Secularism is a religion. Ask any atheist. Their veins explode, which is evidence that you've offended their god."

-non-sequitur

"Agnostics are just people who can't make up their mind, kind of like a shopper at wal-mart who takes 20 minutes to park because he refuses to park anywhere other than the spot closest to the store."

-I always thought that agnosticism was the positive belief that any deity is unknowable, not negative fence-sitting. Still, kudos on fucking up a simple analogy

"America's new "golden calf" is money and socialistic crusades. And America will go down with it, just like Rome. Good riddance."

-Avarice and socialism are diametrically(should that be dialectically?) opposed. Besides, Rome (to borrow a phrase from Marx) "hung itself on its own excesses".


2/27/2008 10:51:04 AM

Anonyonyonymous

"Agnostics are just people who can't make up their mind"

I hate that misconception. Agnosticism is the only possible logical conclusion (although I would say that, being agnostic)you can come to regarding religion; It's just impossible to knowv for sure whether there's a god/s or not.

2/27/2008 10:53:32 AM

anevilmeme

"Secularism is a religion."

No it's not, next?

2/27/2008 11:00:15 AM

Brenz

I realize we agnostics are like the bisexuals of religion, disdained on both sides, but can you just accept that some of us don't think there is a God, but sure would like to discover there is a being of immense love who is going to point out you fundies are like the Pharisees, forgive you anyway, and has never once smited anyone?

Thank you,
The Management

2/27/2008 11:46:40 AM

szena

So you think truth is nothing more than making up your mind about what you want to believe? You're better than an agnostic just because you decided you wanted to believe the Bible?




2/27/2008 12:15:50 PM

Mister Spak

"America's new "golden calf" is money and socialistic crusades. "

But money is a capitalistic obsession. How can America be both socialistic and capitalistic?

2/27/2008 12:30:11 PM
1 2 3