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Quote# 35568

[[Hey Servantofchrist, I hereby officially (and anonymously) accuse you of the act of heresy and treason of the high church. At noon you will be judged by fire. If you are innocent, you will not suffer the flames o' righteousness. If you are indeed guilty and an agent of the devil, you will perish 'neath the flames of holy fire. Sound familiar dumbass?]]-Annonymous

Sounds fair. I am a faithful servant of God and of the church. If that actually happened I know God would spare me, because I am innocent.

What evidence do you have that trial by ordeal wouldn't work? There's not a single case where someone was judged innocent or guilty in a trial by ordeal and then the verdict was proven wrong. If there is please bring it up.

As for cortisol levels. Sounds like God is raising the cortisol levels to cause people not to heal as fast.

ServantofChrist, Unenumerated 52 Comments [2/28/2008 4:39:25 AM]
Fundie Index: 3
Submitted By: ProudSecularist
WTF?! || meh
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Sideshow Bob

Proudly marching into the xth century ythed.

This is a terrible idea. Also, thank you very much for making God out to be an active blight.


Edit: Click click bloody click Poe. This relieves me GREATLY.

On an unrelated matter, I need to take my sarcasm detector in for repairs.

2/28/2008 3:13:12 PM

Brain_In_A_Jar

Sounds fair. I am a faithful servant of God and of the church. If that actually happened I know God would spare me, because I am innocent.

Somehow, I think you'd be rather more reticent about agreeing to such a thing were it actually likely to be done to you - if we had you bound to a stake, doused in oil and the flames were just beginning to lick your toes, I sincerely doubt you'd be quite so blasé. Evolution has hardwired the survival instinct deeper into our brains than just about anything else; it would cut through any amount of self-delusion before the end as long as you weren't actually insane.

Even as it is, though, sitting safely in front of your computer in a place where such an ordeal is illegal and would be prevented, miles and miles of cable and radio links away from us, you're a fool to make such rash statements.

2/28/2008 3:13:32 PM

David D.G.

This just in: a timely observation at Memoirs of a Skepchick: "On this day [2/28] in 1692, arrest warrants were issues for three women accused of being witches. Starting with these, more than 150 people were arrested and put to trial for the felony offense of witchcraft, often citing “spectral evidence.” Yes, really. Twenty-nine were convicted and at least twenty were put to death. Although it took until 1957, all were eventually exonerated. Yes, 1957."

Considering the nature of witch hunts, I'm shocked that so many of the accused were found not guilty. And what was the basis of all this tragic hysteria? A few little girls' bid for attention, telling little lies to their parents.

It's tempting to feel smug about our modern world knowing better, but instances such as the one in Saudi Arabia show that much of the world is still in the Dark Ages (some, such as ServantofChrist here, quite willfully so).

Actually, I, too, am starting to think that ServantofChrist is most likely a poe. But as long as we're on the subject, I thought it wouldn't hurt to pass the "old news" item along.


~David D.G.

2/28/2008 3:24:27 PM

Øyvind

What evidence do you have that trial by ordeal wouldn't work? There's not a single case where someone was judged innocent or guilty in a trial by ordeal and then the verdict was proven wrong.
There isn't a single case where the North Koreans have sentenced someone to death and later said they were wrong either. Oh my god, tyrannical fascist states are never wrong!

As for the whole 'they died anyway' thing: The reason they did it this way was that they believed that if the dead victim was innocent, she'd go to Heaven and no harm would be done. Doesn't make the acts less gruesome, but that's their reasoning.

2/28/2008 3:35:08 PM

Mudflappus

Hey!!! I'm the anonymous asshole that challenged this dipshit to a barbeque. My own words used to launch a response and a post of their own here on FSTDT! This is a truly proud day for me! (wipes away tear)

2/28/2008 3:59:38 PM

Septic Sceptic

Antichrist:

"Franconian law prescribed that an accused was to be given dry bread and cheese blessed by a priest. If he choked on the food, he was considered guilty."

This one is just hilarious. You could get away with murder as long as you chew carefully.

2/28/2008 4:05:32 PM

Ryushikaze

Jud: Ano, not Anata. "That person" not "You person"

That said, most trials by ordeal are utterly worthless as it's a case of damned if you do damned if you don't. And none of them are based on any sort of rational thinking.

2/28/2008 4:13:18 PM

Paradox244

Poe? Please be a Poe. I need to believe that people aren't this stupid.

2/28/2008 4:53:51 PM

booley

wow, when idiots clash.. we all win.

2/28/2008 5:23:56 PM

Papabear

"Sounds fair. I am a faithful servant of God and of the church. If that actually happened I know God would spare me, because I am innocent."

Well, shut up and let's give it a test.

2/28/2008 6:10:23 PM

SweetViolet

Moron. If your god saved you from the flames, that would prove to the rabble that put you to the test that you were guilty! Only the innocent ones burn to death.

I'd call you a stupid idiot, but that would be an insult to both the stupid and idiots everywhere.

2/28/2008 6:17:48 PM

Nirjuana

Lets see how you manage with my blowtorch

2/28/2008 7:45:54 PM

cui bono

In the immortal words of the Darlaks, Exterminate, Exterminate.....





fundamentalists delenda est

2/28/2008 7:51:05 PM

anatiedaephobic

Mattural Selection - erm, I'm fairly sure one of your examples was only ever done in the Simpsons.

ServantofChrist - well, it's hard to prove people innocent if you DON'T HAVE A TRIAL.

2/28/2008 9:11:31 PM

Cabal

"I would say the better half of Salem village."

2/28/2008 9:54:15 PM

Nowonmai

Actually, ServantOfChrist, you aren't innocent. You are guilty of pride and hubris, and the mortal sin of claiming to know the mind of G*d.

2/28/2008 10:33:58 PM

tracer

Jud wrote:

"Mi ankaux diras al vi ke li estas "POE!" "


Alia Esperantisto! Mi ne kredas g^in!

(Just don't ask me to translate it into Klingon....)

2/29/2008 12:59:13 AM

Don'tLookBehindYou

Wow. This guy IS a new AV1611VET.

2/29/2008 4:16:46 AM

Nemesis

Sounds good? Awesome!

Just come on over to my place and we'll get started. I've got gasoline and a lighter.

2/29/2008 8:58:17 AM



Trials by combat were more fun!

2/29/2008 10:19:33 PM

Riin-thrall

@tracer: "Just don't ask me to translate it into Klingon...."

jIH je jatlh ghaH 'oH "po'"!

Yup.

3/3/2008 10:28:27 PM

I'M GAY, LOL.

WHAT?

3/30/2008 2:29:17 AM



Good luck trying to explain martyrdom and why in most religious countries people die everyday.

8/10/2009 1:12:17 AM

CanadianBroad

What I love is that these people are probably fat, employed, lots of "friends" in the church to testify on their behalf, never been shunned or had their pain mocked and discounted and count a sharp comment on the Net as "persecution".

They have no idea what they would face in this kind of situation. None. And no imagination to really put themselves there, either.

Sigh.

10/13/2011 5:38:47 AM

Anon-e-moose

"If that actually happened I know God would spare me, because I am innocent."

(*Flies in Mil MI-24 Hind, hovering above ServantofChrist staked out on ground; MI-24 Hind helicopter has barrel-shaped Napalm device attached to hook underneath; finger on release switch on MI-24's control column*)

OR:

(*ServantofChrist tied to chair in windowless room, approached by man wielding lit plasma torch; SoC screams*) [/"Hostel"]

'If.' [/Spartan Laconic Wit]

@Septic Sceptic

'Blessed are the Cheesemakers...'

[/"Monty Python's Life of Brian"] X3

10/13/2011 9:41:13 AM
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