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Quote# 35974

Jesus might approach Earth at a speed -- and from a distance -- similar to that of a comet. He might be visible by people around the earth for many days as he approached closer and closer to the earth. Of course, as he came in for a landing -- presumably at Jerusalem -- fewer and fewer people would be able to observe him directly.

Anonymous, Religious Tolerance 72 Comments [3/8/2008 10:49:10 PM]
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WTF?! || meh
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opie_jeanne

Wait... what???

3/8/2008 10:57:27 PM

Øyvind

...

3/8/2008 10:59:36 PM

Øyvind

This to explain that 'according to Matthew 24:30 and Revelation 1:7, [every] person on Earth will be able to see Jesus approaching the Earth, presumably at Jerusalem, at the time of his second coming.'

A better explanation might be 'ok, so those idiots believed the Earth was flat despite evidence to the contrary even at their time. Get over it already'.

3/8/2008 11:01:21 PM

Papabear

"Jesus might approach Earth at a speed -- and from a distance -- similar to that of a comet."

If Jesus was to show up at all, he might very well approach earth very quickly... or very slowly... or backwards over the north pole. STFU, you're just blowing wind.


"He might be visible by people around the earth for many days as he approached closer and closer to the earth."

Uh huh. Let's place GREAT stress on the word MIGHT. Of course the Bible says he'll be visible to all the people of the earth at the same time. A good trick considering the earth is essentially a sphere.


"Of course, as he came in for a landing -- presumably at Jerusalem -- fewer and fewer people would be able to observe him directly."

But the heat of entry will make him glow and Jesus' retro-rockets will make him light up so that he'll be easier to see.

3/8/2008 11:05:01 PM

POSW

"Jesus Christ, coming in for landing. Jesus Christ, coming in for landing."

"You're clear to land, God."

"Copy that. Beginning heavenly descent."

3/8/2008 11:08:22 PM

cyborgtroy

No......

Noo.....

Comets represent Satan falling to Earth...

Jesus would never look anything like a comet.

3/8/2008 11:13:28 PM

Dracori

Lol wut?

3/8/2008 11:13:32 PM

McCulloch

And you can just wait for Him on your roof with your white robes on. I hope it does not get too cold.

3/8/2008 11:17:13 PM

demodocos


3/8/2008 11:25:39 PM

jilmavi

No no, he will return to Earth at the top of the Jesus minaret in the Umayyad mosque in Damascus. At least this is a commonly held view in Syria. Why Jesus would want to appear in just that spot, I am not sure... All I know is I had a great time living in the shadow of the mosque with my American fundie friend (yes, friend)!

3/8/2008 11:31:36 PM

Illuminatalie

I wonder if it would be safe to look at Jesus through a piece of welder's glass.


3/8/2008 11:37:15 PM

apYrs

this WANKER has no concept of omnipotence.

God doesn't do "faster than a speeding bullet...."


GOs, any god, just manifests.

3/8/2008 11:37:44 PM

aaa

That 'Comet' is more likely an ICBM, ready to 'bless' Jerusalem.

3/8/2008 11:50:43 PM

MysticalChicken

ROCKET JESUS!

3/8/2008 11:52:03 PM

David B.

"Jesus might approach Earth at a speed -- and from a distance -- similar to that of a comet."

Halley-lulah?

3/8/2008 11:53:34 PM

BoxerShorts

Somebody with more artistic talent than me needs to make a picture of Jesus-comet-thing approaching Earth.

3/8/2008 11:53:59 PM

szena

"It's a bird!"
"No, it's a plane!"
"IT'S JESUS MAN!"

3/9/2008 12:03:14 AM

Septic Sceptic

This would be Revelations Jesus though, wouldn't it? Uber-Jesus, with the doubled bladed sword in his mouth and the burning eyes. Maybe we'd be safer sending Bruce Willis up to drill a hole in Christ's skull, lower a nuclear warhead inside, and blast Jesus out of the sky. Then we say to the fundies: "Ok, that Second Coming was a bust. You want to help us do something about global warming now?"

3/9/2008 12:05:50 AM

Old Viking

What is that streaming from his ass?

3/9/2008 12:10:37 AM

Seamus D

And then the furry bunny rabbit will bite me on the hiney, and my mommy will give me a soda pop because the firey Jesus in the sky scared me.

3/9/2008 12:12:08 AM

The Watcher

I'm probably only gonna get to use this once, but it's worth it.


3/9/2008 12:37:20 AM

sakura

Ha ha ha!

No.

3/9/2008 12:40:43 AM

Bassic

Jesus is a planet killer?

3/9/2008 12:54:27 AM

SurfinSeaOtter

The Watcher wins this one... that is a once in a lifetime pic right there xD

3/9/2008 1:23:19 AM

malendras

For some reason, Judas Priest's "Painkiller" just started playing in my head...

3/9/2008 1:30:05 AM
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