You see, the Smithsonian is responsible for hiding a lot of evidence that goes against evolution, so I've heard.
31 comments
It's true.
Here in DC, the Federal Government (since we have no vote) forces all of us to hide this anti-evolution evidence in our homes.
We have Lot's wife, i.e. a pillar of salt, in our attic. We haven't bought Morton's salt in years. It's kosher, too!
Our neighbour next door has Adam's bones in her cupboard, which has been a boon to her - She suffers from postmenopausal osteoporosis and considers the ground up bones to be a very effective dietary supplement.
Our other neighbours around the block have the Burning Bush out in their back yard. It burns 24/7, BTW, which is very handy during these upcoming autumn months. They throw lovely garden parties; we all bob for apples to the light of the Bush, and the kids in neighbourhood love making S'Mores and telling scary stories!
I'll probably be shot for divulging this information.
the church is responsible for hiding all evidence of Christ's life and mortality,
SO I'VE HEARD!
and with better evidence having read HOW the bible and creed was manufactured
That's right - and I have heard they have the Ark of the Covenant stored in the basement - it's been there since Indiana Jones brought it back from Egypt in 1936.
This is quite a coincidence, actually, as James Bond happened to mention the Ark last night when we were at dinner with Mickey and Minnie Mouse at the Mouse House. The Mouses have a large collection of antiquities - as well massive quantities of cheese from all over the world. It was a very entertaining meal - half way through a mummy burst into the room and tried to kill us all. Fortunately Spock was able to subdue it with the Vulcan nerve pinch.
This is all true.
We swears it, we swears it on the preciousssssssss........
Until you see Lazarus drinking ten bottles of Vodka then vommiting from the window of black mercedes driven by Sava Savanovic, while at the same time you help the Death sharpen his scythe on the back seat, you saw nothing.
[Insert nonsensical fundy bullshit], so I've heard. (In other words, it must be true, since it goes along with my fairy tales, and I believe it.)
I thought I should clarify the fundy mindset on this one.
Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam - wonderful spam!
Like WHAT, for instance?
Oh, wait, they're hiding it, so of course you don't know and can't show us. Of course you only HEARD about it.
Well, I've heard that those that those that claim they have heard they're hiding evidence that goes against evolution aren't morons. And I'm just as wrong.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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