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#441398
Sayna
"I keep changing my mind from 5 to 30 years."
Wow. Sounds like you really know your stuff!
"...the whole world needs to be plugged into Fox news to know when to look for Jesus coming in the sky..."
Ah, so all the things they say about Fox News being fundy-filled and completely divorced from reality ARE true?
3/23/2008 2:23:07 AM
#441400
Grand Archblasphemer of York
Your definition of the end times involves everyone watching Fox News? Well...I'll give you credit, you aren't too far off...
3/23/2008 2:25:47 AM
#441402
Papabear
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same old crap you guys have been pitching for almost 2000 years. If your Jesus ever really DOES show up, you have him send me a note. Until then, how 'bout you STFU.
3/23/2008 2:26:44 AM
#441405
DarkfireTaimatsu
"Soon" is a wonderfully ambiguous term, because it's totally relative.
3/23/2008 2:28:19 AM
#441406
sakura
"So, if I am hear on Earth with the third temple, something has to be wrong with my theories.[...]"
Not only are you wrong, but so is your spelling.
"My idea is that the whole world needs to be plugged into Fox news to know when to look for Jesus coming in the sky."
I knew those fools at Faux News were airheads. It's such an amazing feat to have your head in the clouds and shoved up your ass at the same damn time.
"I think that we are about 30 years away from every around the world getting cable."
Yes, because everyone, especially those poor saps living in those god-forsaken third world countries, need to watch Fox Noise every fucking day of their lives and be reminded of which group of pricks is in charge of the fucking world.
3/23/2008 2:30:31 AM
#441410
Terry Stroud
Several points come to mind....
1. Learn to spell.
2. Learn grammer.
3. Understand that people who know how to spell and use proper grammer are likely much more intelligent than you. Listen to the adults and STFU.
4. If everyone is watching Fox news then the world HAS come to an end and I don't want to live anymore.
5. Using numbers does not make you smart. Instead of saying "I keep changing my mind from 5 to 30 years," just say: "I'm pulling some stuff out of my ass here."
3/23/2008 2:31:00 AM
#441413
Sayna
Exactly, Darkfire Taimatsu.
You've got to keep it relative, because if you set a time and it passes just fine, everyone will realize what a liar you are!
3/23/2008 2:32:24 AM
#441415
cyborgtroy
"When I hear of the Jews are making plans for building the third temple, I get excited."
You should know better than to say that on the Internet.
3/23/2008 2:34:11 AM
#441421
Antichrist
5 to 30, or 300, or 3,000 or 3 billion years when the sun finally dies.....
And about "rebuilding the temple", is Israel really planning this? Or is it just another bunch of fundie bullshit?
3/23/2008 2:38:39 AM
#441427
Brian X
Antichrist:
Israel isn't planning it, though a number of Haredi sects are -- making the temple implements according to the Bible, re-breeding the red heifers, all that kind of thing. There is quite a bit of argument as to whether it must be on the Temple Mount or not, though I guarandamntee you the first group to try tearing down Al-Aqsa will get Israel wiped off the map.
3/23/2008 2:43:27 AM
#441439
Yes, something is wrong with your theory: it's bullshit.
3/23/2008 2:48:46 AM
#441456
"something has to be wrong with my theories..." No Shit Sherlock? One, Jesus said "no man knows the hour", two, "rapture" is a non-Biblical farce invented in the 19th century, three GOPFOXNEWS will never show the arrival of Jesus because he isn't(I know that this breaks your heart) a Republican, and four, you are an idiot to come up with all this quasi-religious nonsense.
3/23/2008 3:00:55 AM
#441457
Little Miss
Yes, the world WILL in fact end the day everyone on the planet lowers themselves to watching Fox News.
3/23/2008 3:01:05 AM
#441483
Esjeur
That does it, tomorrow I'm making a phoney news report with my cam corder while watching the sky and will be "Jesus Patrol", I'll sell it to Fox.
3/23/2008 3:29:33 AM
#441503
Horsefeathers
"I keep changing my mind from 5 to 30 years."
I like this definition of "soon." The next time someone expects money from me I'll tell them I'll have it for them "soon."
"When I hear of the Jews are making plans for building the third temple, I get excited. I believe in a pre-tribulation rapture. So, if I am hear on Earth with the third temple, something has to be wrong with my theories."
Yeah, no shit there's something wrong with them.
"When I think about the whole world seeing the return of Jesus, my definition of "soon" moves to 30 years or more."
For completely arbitrary reasons that only you are privy too I assume.
"My idea is that the whole world needs to be plugged into Fox news to know when to look for Jesus coming in the sky."
Believe it or not, I could actually see Faux News reporting on this. They'd look stupid (again) but hey, think of the ratings boost they'd get from the fundies.
"I think that we are about 30 years away from every around the world getting cable."
Cable? There's these cool new things called "satellites" that can "beam" a signal right to your house. It's like Star Trek!
3/23/2008 3:56:33 AM
#441520
Illuminatalie
"When I hear of the Jews are making plans for building the third temple, I get excited"
Excited, cause you're thinking about Jesus coming? So what else is new?
"something has to be wrong with my theories"
Your theories which are yours and belong to you and you were very glad to say whose they were?
"My idea is that the whole world needs to be plugged into Fox news to know when to look for Jesus coming in the sky."
That's a new one. For me.
"I think that we are about 30 years away from every around the world getting cable."
You've put some thought into this, I can see.
3/23/2008 4:11:21 AM
#441525
John_in_Oz
Yes, Jesus said he was coming 'soon'. So- 5 to 30 years after he left, eh?
3/23/2008 4:18:25 AM
#441553
approximate
I don't want to see Jesus coming in the sky. Seriously.
3/23/2008 4:59:11 AM
#441564
jsonitsac
Aside from some Cheredi cult, I can tell you that the Jews are not planning to build a Third Temple anytime soon. First, we would have to bulldoze the existing structure on the mount, a Muslim holy site, and we'd rather not cause any more shit to go down. Second, not all Jews would acknowledge it as "the temple." The Reform and Conservative movements do not believe in a resumption of animal sacrifices or the old style caste system (though Conservative is a bit vague on the point of a 3rd Temple).
3/23/2008 5:14:49 AM
#441568
Leo
Why Faux News? I thought fundies should be watching TBN.
3/23/2008 5:27:26 AM
#441592
Sweet Violet
Well, South Africa doesn't have cable and isn't going to get it. DSTV (satellites that orbit the earth) is how we get our non-local programming and guess what? Faux News is not one of our choices!
For too many reasons for your provincial little mind and shrunken intellect to comprehend, the installation of cable anywhere in Africa is highly unlikely. So you might want to change that "soon" to "never" because Faux News ain't coming to my TV anytime soon!
3/23/2008 6:46:42 AM
#441600
Mike
And when he doesn't come in 30 years, it's God's will, right?
*sigh* Idiots.
3/23/2008 7:05:05 AM
#441637
So, in this cases you love "relativism"(or at least, you're safe of not being stoned for liar)
3/23/2008 9:57:19 AM
#441647
APD
Well, this isn't THAT cra-wait, Fox News?
Although it sounds like a poe to me...
3/23/2008 10:27:30 AM
#441655
plue
how about never?? that sounds very very accurate... spares you thinking about how may years till the "rapture" comes... hell if you follow that 'never' you may even start to develop a life... give it a try?
"I think that we are about 30 years away from every around the world getting cable."
hahahaha... my family in VN and OZ have satellites... i get more than 200 channels on the satellite... so getting cable is kinda too much for my family...(but i do want cable for the National Geographic, History and Discovery Channel)
3/23/2008 11:16:58 AM
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