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Quote# 36672

If Jesus never existed, then how do you explain the Dead Sea Scrolls? The Gospels? If Jesus never existed are you saying God doesnt exist either? If that is true, then how do you explain phenomena such as people being healed from cancer when the doctors say they will never be healed. Paralyzed people walking again when the doctors say it will never happen. Is that just blind luck or what? The doctors didn't do it, so it wasn't science that did it. How would you explain that?

Ben, Jesus Never Existed Message Board 68 Comments [3/25/2008 5:54:29 PM]
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Submitted By: antichrist
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Doctor Whom

If Harry Potter never existed, then how do you explain the Harry Potter books?

3/24/2008 10:43:37 PM

Berny

I explain the Dead Sea Scrolls the same way I explain all the other books in the Bible. It's fanciful writing.
Using your analogy, since we've proven that Greece attacked Troy centuries ago, it obviously proves the Greek Pantheon of Gods is real.
As to the matter of your supposed "miracles", for some strange reason, none of them are ever documented reliably.
Burden of proof is still yours.

3/24/2008 10:55:24 PM

tmr

Creations of man. Will power. Misdiagnoses. The human spirit. Determination.

3/24/2008 10:56:54 PM

MK

"If that is true, then how do you explain phenomena such as people being healed from cancer when the doctors say they will never be healed. Paralyzed people walking again when the doctors say it will never happen. Is that just blind luck or what?"

The FSM has touched these people with his healing noodly appendage.

3/24/2008 10:57:27 PM

cyborgtroy

"If Jesus never existed, then how do you explain the Dead Sea Scrolls?"

Someone probably wrote them.

"The Gospels?"

Someone probably wrote them and exaggerated a lot.

"If Jesus never existed are you saying God doesnt exist either?"

FINALLY! Someone gets it!

"If that is true, then how do you explain phenomena such as people being healed from cancer when the doctors say they will never be healed."

Well, since the doctors aren't God, they aren't infallible. Maybe they were wrong.

Remember, stupids, things with very small probabilities DO happen.

"Paralyzed people walking again when the doctors say it will never happen."

Maybe the doctors were wrong. Interesting that this doesn't happen to everybody who's paralyzed or has cancer and prays to be healed.

"Is that just blind luck or what? The doctors didn't do it, so it wasn't science that did it. How would you explain that?"

OF COURSE THE DOCTORS DID IT, THEY WERE TREATING HIM/HER!!!!

YOU FREAKING MORON!

3/24/2008 11:04:32 PM

Quinone

"Paralyzed people walking again when the doctors say it will never happen. Is that just blind luck or what?"

I'd point Ben in the direction of the "Why Won't God Heal Amputees?" site, but I doubt it would have much effect...

3/24/2008 11:05:30 PM

Sinisterwing

Somehow, I don't recall any of those "phenomenom" happening to the practitioners of YOUR type of Christianity. Would that mean that God heals heathens?

I do remember instances when fundies did harm to people, so shut up.

3/24/2008 11:08:12 PM

Psittacosis

These would be the same Dead Sea Scrolls that don't mention Jesus of Nazareth once? As in, never, not at all, nada, zip, rien, nichts? Those Dead Sea Scrolls?

3/24/2008 11:16:28 PM

Headache

I'm still waiting for someone to show me an ex-amputee...

3/24/2008 11:17:52 PM

Grand Archblasphemer of York

If there is a God, how do you explain all the people who are not miraculously healed of cancer, or the paralyzed people who are not given the ability to walk again by his magical whim? Does he just hate them?

Yes, it is blind luck, in effect. And the Dead Sea Scrolls, and the Gospels were written by man, God may or may not exist (most likely not, however) and you are really clueless, aren't you?

3/24/2008 11:20:13 PM

Nowonmai

The HISTORICAL Jesus probably did exist, preaching the word of how to treat fellow man. Probably.

Did the mystic Jesus, who died and came back to life exist? No. That was made up.

As for the Dead Sea Scrolls, what about the other scrolls that the Vatican declared heresy and chose NOT to put them in your precious bible? Yeah, let's just ignore those, as they contradict your bible even more than what it does to itself now.

3/24/2008 11:22:51 PM

Antichrist

That was fast, I just put this up last night.

Anyway, Dead Sea Scrolls, Gospels - Stories

"miracle" healings - we don't fully understand the human body. There is an ongoing research project at the University of Ottawa on Stem-cell use in people with MS. Out of 18 people, it slowed the process in 15 (at different rates), killed 2 people, and one person is now in remission. Since stem-cell research is evil, explain that one.

And then there's the simple question, why doesn't god cure amputees? Out of all the miracle healings, he doesn't seem to give a damn about the amputees.

3/24/2008 11:23:03 PM



"how do you explain phenomena such as people being healed from cancer when the doctors say they will never be healed. Paralyzed people walking again when the doctors say it will never happen. Is that just blind luck or what?"

These people are rarely, if ever, 100% healed. But leaving that aside such people get better against odds given to them by doctors because they refuse to give up, won't take no for an answer and continue seeking all avilable forms of medical treatment. They don't just sit at home and do nothing and wait for God to make them better.

I consider your attempt to take the credit away from the brave, determined victims of such illness and the medical professionals who helped them and giving it all to your God an insult to them. Fuck you.

3/24/2008 11:24:58 PM

DW

Before a paralyzed Christopher Reeve passed away, he managed to move his fingers or something similar.
This was no act of god, it was someone removing kryponite away from him and slowly giving him back his super powers

3/24/2008 11:26:03 PM

xander8

If Middle-Earth never existed, then how do you explain the The Lord of the Rings? The Silmarillion? If Middle-Earth never existed are you saying Rivendell doesnt exist either? If that is true, then how do you explain phenomena such as people being healed from cancer when the doctors say they will never be healed. Paralyzed people walking again when the doctors say it will never happen. Is that just blind luck or what? The doctors didn't do it, so it wasn't science that did it. How would you explain that?

Makes just about as much sense.

3/24/2008 11:33:03 PM

anti-nonsense

If Sauron never existed how do you explain the Lord of the Rings books?

Sometimes cancer goes into remission for reasons we don't understand, sometimes people recover from things we never thought they could. We don't understand everything about how the human body works, that's no reason to attribute 1 in a million chance recoveries to an invisible sky pixie that nobody has proven exists.

3/24/2008 11:39:26 PM

john

Sure, God answers prayers. But not always. For example, if you pray for a 7 at craps, He'll sometimes give it to you, but only about one time out of six. At the roulette wheel, He's even stingier - if you pray for a number, He'll make it come up only about one time out of 38. I think that's because the payoff is more, so He punishes people who pray for roulette numbers for being greedier than the ones who ask for sevens at craps.

3/24/2008 11:51:56 PM

Old Viking

If Jesus never existed, then how do you explain the JC Penney catalog?

The Gospels? Ben, do you know when the Gospels were written? Oh, never mind.

3/24/2008 11:54:37 PM

Lithp

What you people don't realize is that they popularize those stories because people like to hear about them. More often than not, the doctors are RIGHT.

"If Jesus never existed are you saying God doesnt exist either?"

Shit grammar aside, one of 'em finally gets it.

3/25/2008 12:02:00 AM

Reverend Davidius

goatherders tell wild tales when they're bored and power-hungry

3/25/2008 12:04:02 AM

Omni Noodle

I think this genius is confusing the dead sea scrolls with the Nag Hammadi scrolls.

3/25/2008 12:21:59 AM

approximate

How do I explain these things?

Doctors fuck up too and the medical treatments still work.

3/25/2008 1:45:34 AM

Riin-thrall

Why.

Won't.

God.

Heal.

Amputees.

(I realise I've been beaten to this by several posts, but it deserves to be said twice)

3/25/2008 1:56:43 AM

szena

If Thor never existed, then how do you explain Norse mythology?

3/25/2008 1:57:34 AM

Mayhem

Whenever I read something like this, I wonder if, in 2000 years, there will be a cult that believes that Snake Pliskin saved the President from New York Prison because they found an old movie and the fact that New York historically existed.

3/25/2008 2:39:08 AM
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