The best thing about the Left Behind books is the way the non-Christians get their guts pulled out by God.
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I watched a few of the movies with my now ex-girlfriend... she cheered and laughed when the christian guys were able to walk past the evil guys without being seen. (or something like that) so that, combined with her hating "carnival" (to the point of refusing to watch more than one episode) because there were tarot cards in it, lead me to think that maybe, just maybe, i was dating a fundie.
Sounds like the God that we've all come to know and love...is it any wonder why those non-Christians that God treats so justly and mercifully refuse to convert to Christianity?
Even if the Christian God existed, he would not be worth worshipping. He would not deserve the respect that Christians give him, let alone worship. But, luckily, I doubt that is the issue, so the faithful can continue to get their jollies at the idea of those filthy non-believers being eviscerated by the favorite wittle magic man. Sadistic fairy tales are the only thing that keep such people placated.
Joe Bageant Unidentified Teenage Moron for disembowelment! Oh no, wait, that actually works!
Edit: I stand corrected. Thanks boojum :D
Careful, commenters. This quote is from an unidentified 15-old fundamentalist, *not* from Joe Bageant. Bageant is a good guy. I recently finished his book (Deer Hunting with Jesus); he's definitely on "our" side.
"Allow me to get down to the nub of this and say what urban liberals cannot allow themselves to say out loud: "Christian majority or not, the readers of such apocalyptic books as the Left Behind series are some pretty damned dumb motherfuckers caught up in their own black, vindictive fantasy." There. I said it for you."
Thanks Joe : )
The best thing about the "Domination of the Draka" series is the way the Christians get rounded up and sold on the auction block (of course, all the Muslims, Hindus, Jews, Athiests, and everybody else meets the same fate, but...)
Wrong: The best thing about the Left Behind books is the way the non-Christians get their guts pulled out by God.
Right: The best thing about the Left Behind books is the way they get the fire going when I use them for kindling.
*not that I endorse the burning of literature but this falls VERY far from that tree
This quote from Joe Bageant later in the article is great:
"Christian majority or not, the readers of such apocalyptic books as the Left Behind series are some pretty damned dumb motherfuckers caught up in their own black, vindictive fantasy."
I bought one of the books off Amazon for a penny, just for a looksee. Some of the worst 'literature' I've ever read. So, not only can I hate the message (anti semetic, anti well, everything diatribe), I can laugh at the poor writing.
Hmm. I'm thinking of writing a parody book series called "Left Alone" where all the fundamentalists disappear and life goes on for everyone, possibly with some improvements (REAL issues like getting along in the world taking the center stage rather than whether some BS not even in scripture is the be-all and end-all of everything)
@Vulpin:
This is a great idea. Have everyone interested contribute a chapter--like a fictional diary of what life is like after the rapture. It could be hilarious, and considering the international cast here at FSTDT, it would be a cool read.
I'm in.
I've read the book and watched the movie, yet I can't remember this ever happening. The idea was they were all left behind and eventually sent to hell, not mutilated. Oh well. Maybe I missed that chapter.
The left behind series also has a teenage edition which actually goes against the whole concept, those who are mature and who don't believe in the afterlife stay on earth and shit happens, and yet the teenage edition had teens, who obviously aren't that mature, been 'left behind'.
Continuity is a bitch sometimes.
I hate that story. It's so damn negative and has so many flaws in its continuity.
Here's a synthesis of the 'Left Behind' series (I've read it all) : the youngin' is essentially right. Fundy gorehounds can fantasize about Rambo Christ beat to a bloody pulp anybody who ever insulted them by not kneeling down on the spot to accept Jayyyzus-as-his-personal-savior the instant they started spouting Bible quotes. In the ultimate revenge fantasy, enemies of Gawd finally get their comeuppance splatter flick style, with spectacular visual effects worthy of Tom Savini, Peter Jackson or Industrial Light & Magic, only with a few hundred thousand victims per FX shot instead of the usual poorly-lit closeup oozing with some red and gooey stuff. Coming soon to hellbound heathens near you. Oddly, I have read about Judgement Day in the Bible, but I could find nothing on Cyberdyne Systems. But then, Jesus did say he'd be back.
In short, a self-righteous, vindictive genocide, fetishized. Yuck.
and they will know we are Christians by our love, by our love, yes, they will know we are Christians by our love.
Feel that Christian Love!
So, teenager, what if Kali is the Right God/Godess?
Then all non-Hindus will get their guts pulled out by Kali, and this chick really knows her stuff.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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