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Quote# 3699

You can....once you are saved....scream, holler and try to escape all you want....but you are still a slave to Jesus Christ...and cannot escape Him. The ultimate slave master.....with ZERO escapes on His record... Our prisons should take notes from Him.

Lonewolf7, Rapture Ready 26 Comments [8/1/2003 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 8
WTF?! || meh
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TheUnholyMint

The Ruthless Slave Master, AND The Prince of Peace?

Talk about multitasking.

2/16/2007 1:30:11 AM

BurntBush

Does he wear leather shorty shorts and spiked heals?

2/16/2007 1:47:11 AM

SaneChick

You seriously need to work on your sales pitch.

2/16/2007 1:50:17 AM

AriseNow

\"You can....once you are damned....scream, holler and try to escape all you want....but you are still a slave to Satan...and cannot escape Him. The ultimate slave master.....with ZERO escapes on His record... Our prisons should take notes from Him.\"

Huh, so they really are the two sides of a coin...

2/16/2007 1:55:33 AM

remix17

.....damn.

That sounds like something someone ANTI-Christian would say!

Way to go, idiot.

2/16/2007 2:16:14 AM

Man Called True

...and WHY should I worship your deity again?

2/16/2007 4:21:50 AM

Damn Yankee

The reason why there are no escapes on record is because they wipe it every few seconds.

2/16/2007 6:35:03 AM

Heather

Great evangelising there, Lonewolf7. That's really going to encourage people to turn to your religion.

2/16/2007 10:04:35 AM

Doctor Whom

Then there is no such thing as apostasy, nor are there any such people as ex-Christians. Master Jesus Sir doesn't let you have a safeword, and He's padlocked your collar and harness.

Oh, by the way, the comment about prisons is ironic, given the religious statistics of inmates.

2/16/2007 2:00:53 PM

Chaoschaos

Huh. I was \"saved\" when I was younger and later left the faith.

Looks like I'm still saved. Get off my doorstep, Jesusfreaks!

2/16/2007 2:24:30 PM

Sandman

Judas \"escaped.\" Hitler, raised a Lutheran, sure seemed to \"escape.\" Stalin, raised Russian Orthodox, sure seemed to \"escape.\" Torquemada seemed to have \"escaped.\" Jeffrey Dhamer was raised Methodist...Charlie Manson was raised Presbyterian...Jim Jones was raised Baptist...David Koresh was raised Episcopaelian...

Sure seem to be an awful lot of \"escapees\" from Jesus, and that's just by your definition. If we include those who \"escaped\" without having to resort to extreme behavior (and there are a hell of a lot of them out there...) the numbers get truly astonomical...

2/16/2007 2:33:29 PM

David B.

Whew, so once I'm saved I can go back to believing in evolution and not in God, screwing guys in the ass, and burning buses full of defiled nuns then?

Whew! One less thing to worry about

2/16/2007 6:25:07 PM

Kitsderwolf

Why does Lonewolf here sound like he's enjoying the though of Jeebus-Master keeping a tight grip on his leash? Why do fundies always drop their own twisted fantasies into their religion?

2/17/2007 9:42:02 AM

Fernando

Err... I think it's Poe.

5/8/2008 2:18:03 PM

Gjervan

Bettie Paige would have been MY Ultimate Slave Mistress...

5/8/2008 5:24:15 PM

Jordan666

Slave driving for Jesus!

5/14/2008 1:39:14 AM

aaa

I broke out of the joint, beotch!

10/4/2008 10:16:13 PM

Darth Vader... For Freedom

Sounds like Akito-San from "Fruit's Basket."

10/4/2008 10:52:29 PM

Brooke Ella

Jesus: Best Prison Warden in the World. (Also, Saviour of Mankind).

10/5/2008 11:34:20 AM

worldsend


10/5/2008 11:40:45 AM

Redneck Bimbo Governor

I've got this mental pictures of jebus's sex-slave dungeon...oy vey...it's too early in the morning for this shit.

10/5/2008 11:43:13 AM

Elia

Whoa.

I knew there were Fundies who were into BDSM, but this is just waaaay out there.

10/6/2008 7:34:25 PM

GigaGuess

@Fernando

If it's not, I'll eat my hat. If anything, that crowd is more than happy to crow about how the slightest misstep shows you stumbled away or never truly followed Jesus in the first place.

10/6/2008 8:05:54 PM

Shadoboy

Poor, poor Jesus. He started as a loving prophet with so many good messages just to have his fanclub transform him into a Nazi.

10/7/2008 5:04:23 AM

Nameless.

And this is a good thing, how?

8/17/2009 4:39:00 AM
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