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Quote# 3816

I know people who were missionaries in Uganda and said that the demonic forces there were so strong, witchdoctors would fly thorugh the air... My missionary friends were at the place of a witchdoctor one time and he, trying to prove his power, laid on a table and began to float and levitate...The wife walked over to him, put her hands on him and said 'In the Name of Jesus,' and the man hit the table with a thud!

darcutm, Theology Web 19 Comments [9/1/2003 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
WTF?! || meh
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Emyu

Folklore is not evidence.

1/21/2008 6:53:53 PM

Lainey

Oh yeah...and then you woke up?

1/21/2008 7:51:36 PM

the Good Witch

my friend's cousin's boyfriend's brother's coworker's daughter's husband's ex-girlfriend says that you suck.

1/21/2008 7:58:32 PM

Trask

Oh, my best friend did that too. Then he started flying around the room and shooting balls of pure heat from his hands. We had to call him down by shouting, "By the FSM!" and he dropped to the ground, and asked for pizza.

What? If he doesn't provide evidence, why should I?

12/22/2009 10:18:59 AM

Phisher

Oh come on if demons provide all these fancy powers, why don't God offer some of these powers once in a while to counter-act these advances by Satan?

Satan currently sells RC cars and God is still selling the same old wood blocks with wheels? That isn't good business strategy.

12/22/2009 11:14:57 AM

GigaGuess

It astounds me the amazing things these people see, and never have the presence of mind to record it...I mean cell phones, digital cameras...so many ways they can record video, yet they never do...

So strange.

12/22/2009 11:35:35 AM

Quantum Mechanic

"witchdoctors would fly thorugh the air"

Bartender, more peyote please.

Lie some more looney tunes, I could use the entertainment.

3/11/2012 6:50:06 PM

Filin De Blanc

I notice that sane, reliable people never seem to witness any of this stuff.

3/12/2012 1:00:08 AM

Canadiest

Apparently missionary work to far off undeveloped countries has one huge advantage. They can lie their asses off about defeating evil forces when they come back.

You can tell this is Fundie by how easy it is, invoke the name of Jesus just once and the evil forces are eliminated. Catholics at least try to make it a difficult long ordeal but fundies, nope, saying Jesus once, that's all it takes.

These "my friends testimonials" are exactly the same as "our hoojoo is better than yours"

3/12/2012 3:31:16 AM



Would somebody please go and drag him into the 21st century.

3/12/2012 3:34:34 AM

whatever

"The wife walked over to him, put her hands on him and said 'In the Name of Jesus,' and the man hit the table with a thud!"

In the name of the same Jesus who walked on water?

3/12/2012 4:08:55 AM

Colgate

Lying for Jeebus is a sin...

3/12/2012 9:01:31 AM

Anon-e-moose

"float and levitate", eh...?

Ever hear of a certain David Blaine, darcuntm?

3/12/2012 12:52:41 PM



ah yes, Uganda and the flying witchdoctors flocking in the spring air, I remember it like it was yesterday.

Screaming "by the power of Grayskull" and throwing yourself off the cliff at the river and gliding down for a swim, those were the days.

setting rows of popsicle stick crosses so the flying witches would plummet into the crocodile infested swamps, oh what fun we had.

Idi Amin with his Fat Albert impersonation, the joy.

oh wait...

3/14/2012 11:28:40 AM

Blackblooded

That may have something to do with the fact she interrupted a complex illusion?

1/26/2013 6:36:07 PM

xyz

Pics or it didn't happen.

Actually, I want a video.

Actually, show me in person. Videos and pics are too easy to fake.

Even better, show James Randi. You'll get rich! (Unless you're lying, of course. But that's a given, right?)

1/27/2013 9:06:40 AM

GigaGuess

And once more, no one even thought to pull out a camera. Odd, that.

1/27/2013 9:24:25 AM

Quantum Mechanic

bull fucking shit

3/25/2013 3:22:02 PM

anti-nonsense

If you actually believe that, then I have a bridge to sell you.

3/25/2013 3:30:21 PM
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