Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Quote# 38340

Our relief pastor spoke a little about the same thing yest morning. He kept getting really violent dreams about 2-3 am. He met an ex-witch who was not surprised because that is when they have their"prayer" time. she told him to walk the halls proclaiming that this house and people belong to Jesus and not satan. His dreams went away. He said he felt pretty funny talking to the walls, but it worked!!

WATCHING AND WAITING, RaptureReady 46 Comments [4/28/2008 4:33:35 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2
Joe-Bob

And I feel pretty good taking this new drug called "Pla-ce-bo". I guess that means it's for real.

4/28/2008 4:35:03 PM

John

Step away from the relief pastor slowly. Don't make eye contact.

4/28/2008 4:43:44 PM

Dumbfounded

Duh, there are no ex-witches, we kill them all with our "abra-ka-stabya" spells of course!

Seriously dude, that is so dumb you are talking out of someone else's ass!

4/28/2008 4:52:46 PM

Jezebel's Evil Sister

No wonder he felt funny talking to the walls; fundies are much more accustomed to talking to the ceiling.

4/28/2008 4:53:08 PM

szena

Funny, the two witches I know are asleep at that hour.

4/28/2008 4:58:45 PM

Reverend Davidius

Oh man, I just broke another bullshit meter!

4/28/2008 5:07:31 PM

Headache

Wow, how can anyone be so retarded?

4/28/2008 5:08:50 PM

tmr

My coven actually prays around 9pm. So, keep your television off then, as well as your computer and radio. In fact, just to be safe, why don't you unplug all things electronic. We get some pretty powerful electrical currents running with our prayers.

4/28/2008 5:14:45 PM

Blayze Kohime

I think some religious people just claim to be 'ex-something' because it gets them attention. I know several people that claimed to be 'ex-satanists' that spoke to us when I was still going to Church. Of course I found out that most of what they said were outright lies.

4/28/2008 5:21:12 PM

Mister Spak

At least he felt funny talking to walls. Most fundies would think it's completely normal.

4/28/2008 5:22:09 PM

Thiniking Allowed

Strange, the one I know are busy working his butt off unloading freight for his workplace.

4/28/2008 5:35:13 PM

Jack Bauer

So your pastor gives good relief?

4/28/2008 5:40:52 PM

cool cats

Either this is a complete lie, or this "ex-witch" was getting a kick out of messing with your fundamentalist loon... er, relief pastors head.

4/28/2008 5:53:38 PM

Brain_In_A_Jar

Feh - to quote Pratchett, anybody can be a witch in the middle of the night. Surely any magical practitioner worth a damn would be able to do their stuff any time of the day they liked. If magic existed at all, of course.

4/28/2008 5:55:20 PM

Papabear

Well, few of us have dreams while walking around, talking or not.

4/28/2008 5:58:06 PM

Damen

Oddly enough, a very special pagan came to stay with me for two weeks. We couldn't have stayed up that late if we tried.

4/28/2008 6:25:08 PM

Antichrist

Huh, the witches I've met usually have their meetings around 7:00. They do have to get up in the morning. But I believe this is another case of lying for Jesus, whether it be her, or the relief pastor.

4/28/2008 6:25:39 PM

Aethernaut

And you believed him. HA!

4/28/2008 6:36:35 PM

Old Viking

This is great! Someone tells the "relief pastor" to talk to the walls. What does he do? He talks to the walls.

4/28/2008 6:52:27 PM

onoma

Ah, that's why you shouldn't read the bible before bed.

4/28/2008 6:54:46 PM

HeathenAngel

The mind is an amazing thing. I suggest you check into placebo effects and self hypnosis. You might find something that interests you there.

4/28/2008 7:05:06 PM

cyborgtroy

"He said he felt pretty funny talking to the walls, but it worked!!"

...

Wow, religious people are gullible.

Speaking of, I have this, erm... Special Snake Oil... Um, ... IT'S FROM EUROPE!

4/28/2008 7:10:35 PM

Pagnostic

"Pagan Standard Time" is not that precise, I'm afraid.

4/28/2008 7:26:04 PM

Illuminatalie

I guess it's true. The walls really do have ears.

4/28/2008 7:50:41 PM

beastly

What a fantastic mental image!

4/28/2008 7:52:08 PM
1 2