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Quote# 38340

Our relief pastor spoke a little about the same thing yest morning. He kept getting really violent dreams about 2-3 am. He met an ex-witch who was not surprised because that is when they have their"prayer" time. she told him to walk the halls proclaiming that this house and people belong to Jesus and not satan. His dreams went away. He said he felt pretty funny talking to the walls, but it worked!!

WATCHING AND WAITING, RaptureReady 46 Comments [4/28/2008 4:33:35 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
WTF?! || meh
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#480100
Joe-Bob

And I feel pretty good taking this new drug called "Pla-ce-bo". I guess that means it's for real.

4/28/2008 4:35:03 PM

#480115
John

Step away from the relief pastor slowly. Don't make eye contact.

4/28/2008 4:43:44 PM

#480126
Dumbfounded

Duh, there are no ex-witches, we kill them all with our "abra-ka-stabya" spells of course!

Seriously dude, that is so dumb you are talking out of someone else's ass!

4/28/2008 4:52:46 PM

#480127
Jezebel's Evil Sister

No wonder he felt funny talking to the walls; fundies are much more accustomed to talking to the ceiling.

4/28/2008 4:53:08 PM

#480142
szena

Funny, the two witches I know are asleep at that hour.

4/28/2008 4:58:45 PM

#480162
Reverend Davidius

Oh man, I just broke another bullshit meter!

4/28/2008 5:07:31 PM

#480166
Headache

Wow, how can anyone be so retarded?

4/28/2008 5:08:50 PM

#480179
tmr

My coven actually prays around 9pm. So, keep your television off then, as well as your computer and radio. In fact, just to be safe, why don't you unplug all things electronic. We get some pretty powerful electrical currents running with our prayers.

4/28/2008 5:14:45 PM

#480194
Blayze Kohime

I think some religious people just claim to be 'ex-something' because it gets them attention. I know several people that claimed to be 'ex-satanists' that spoke to us when I was still going to Church. Of course I found out that most of what they said were outright lies.

4/28/2008 5:21:12 PM

#480197
Mister Spak

At least he felt funny talking to walls. Most fundies would think it's completely normal.

4/28/2008 5:22:09 PM

#480226
Thiniking Allowed

Strange, the one I know are busy working his butt off unloading freight for his workplace.

4/28/2008 5:35:13 PM

#480238
Jack Bauer

So your pastor gives good relief?

4/28/2008 5:40:52 PM

#480262
cool cats

Either this is a complete lie, or this "ex-witch" was getting a kick out of messing with your fundamentalist loon... er, relief pastors head.

4/28/2008 5:53:38 PM

#480267
Brain_In_A_Jar

Feh - to quote Pratchett, anybody can be a witch in the middle of the night. Surely any magical practitioner worth a damn would be able to do their stuff any time of the day they liked. If magic existed at all, of course.

4/28/2008 5:55:20 PM

#480272
Papabear

Well, few of us have dreams while walking around, talking or not.

4/28/2008 5:58:06 PM

#480320
Damen

Oddly enough, a very special pagan came to stay with me for two weeks. We couldn't have stayed up that late if we tried.

4/28/2008 6:25:08 PM

#480321
Antichrist

Huh, the witches I've met usually have their meetings around 7:00. They do have to get up in the morning. But I believe this is another case of lying for Jesus, whether it be her, or the relief pastor.

4/28/2008 6:25:39 PM

#480333
Aethernaut

And you believed him. HA!

4/28/2008 6:36:35 PM

#480350
Old Viking

This is great! Someone tells the "relief pastor" to talk to the walls. What does he do? He talks to the walls.

4/28/2008 6:52:27 PM

#480354
onoma

Ah, that's why you shouldn't read the bible before bed.

4/28/2008 6:54:46 PM

#480372
HeathenAngel

The mind is an amazing thing. I suggest you check into placebo effects and self hypnosis. You might find something that interests you there.

4/28/2008 7:05:06 PM

#480388
cyborgtroy

"He said he felt pretty funny talking to the walls, but it worked!!"

...

Wow, religious people are gullible.

Speaking of, I have this, erm... Special Snake Oil... Um, ... IT'S FROM EUROPE!

4/28/2008 7:10:35 PM

#480424
Pagnostic

"Pagan Standard Time" is not that precise, I'm afraid.

4/28/2008 7:26:04 PM

#480483
Illuminatalie

I guess it's true. The walls really do have ears.

4/28/2008 7:50:41 PM

#480484
beastly

What a fantastic mental image!

4/28/2008 7:52:08 PM
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