Our relief pastor spoke a little about the same thing yest morning. He kept getting really violent dreams about 2-3 am. He met an ex-witch who was not surprised because that is when they have their"prayer" time. she told him to walk the halls proclaiming that this house and people belong to Jesus and not satan. His dreams went away. He said he felt pretty funny talking to the walls, but it worked!!
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Duh, there are no ex-witches, we kill them all with our "abra-ka-stabya" spells of course!
Seriously dude, that is so dumb you are talking out of someone else's ass!
My coven actually prays around 9pm. So, keep your television off then, as well as your computer and radio. In fact, just to be safe, why don't you unplug all things electronic. We get some pretty powerful electrical currents running with our prayers.
Feh - to quote Pratchett, anybody can be a witch in the middle of the night. Surely any magical practitioner worth a damn would be able to do their stuff any time of the day they liked. If magic existed at all, of course.
Huh, the witches I've met usually have their meetings around 7:00. They do have to get up in the morning. But I believe this is another case of lying for Jesus, whether it be her, or the relief pastor.
"He said he felt pretty funny talking to the walls, but it worked!!"
...
Wow, religious people are gullible.
Speaking of, I have this, erm... Special Snake Oil... Um, ... IT'S FROM EUROPE!
2-3am?, what is astrological special about that?. Or did he forgot, rather, to take his meds and the ex-witch was his doctor?
Okay.
a) Witchcraft is not Satanism.
b) I imagine that most witches are in fact asleep at 3am, because they are not stupid.
c) Talking to your house? YOU EVIL IDOLATER
That's fixed the two am problem.
Now you might find you're feeling pretty tired around midday. This is not, as you might imagine, due to sleep loss, but rather because that's when evil homosexual actors wake up. The cure for this is to light a blessed candle, and insert it rythmically into your rectum, reciting "This body belongs to Jesus, and not to Satan" As you pray and rock it back and forth, you will find yourself filled with the joy of the love of the lord, and the faster you pray, the better it will feel.
Oh- and you should paint your genitals green, for spiritual reasons which are too complicated for me to explain to you right now.
"she told him to walk the halls proclaiming that this house and people belong to Jesus and not satan. His dreams went away. He said he felt pretty funny talking to the walls, but it worked!"
Isn't talking to the (church) walls what pastor's usually do? They call it prayer, but esentially that's the same thing, right? So why would he all of a sudden feel stupid about it?
Witches pray any time they feel like it and they pray for many of the same things you do...health, protection, prosperity. All the witches of the world aren't sitting up at 2 am praying for Suzy Cupcake's "relief" pastor to get hemorrhoids. Stop thinking that the universe revolves around you, you ignorant twat.
If he was dreaming, that is, sleeping, how on earth did he know the time it took place?. Second, the witches, according to tradition, have their gatherings at midnight. Your pastor is lying through his teeth.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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