City of Birmingham Proclamation
WHEREAS: The City of Birmingham Like the City of Nineveh has experienced violence and murder that pails in comparison to the City of Nineveh of the Old Testament, Book of Jonah; and has become the fourth violent city per capital in the United States of America; and
WHEREAS: Many residents of the City of Birmingham, like Jonah, who turned his back on Nineveh, the citizens of the City of Birmingham have not only turned their backs on God but also turned their back on the freedoms that were won by and through the civil rights struggle; and
WHEREAS: Chapter 3, verse 5 & 6, of the Book of Jonah, Old Testament states, that the people of Nineveh believe God and proclaimed a fast and put on sackcloth from the greatest of them unto the least of them. For word came unto the King of Nineveh and he arose from his throne and he laid his robe from him and covered him with sackcloth and sat in ash; and
WHEREAS: I, Larry P. Langford, Mayor of the City of Birmingham, like the King of Nineveh in verse 7, proclaim and publish a decree and do designate and set aside April 25th, 2008, as
“IT’S TIME TO PRAY”
in the City of Birmingham, and encourage all Bishops, Priests, Pastors, Ministers and all of our citizens of various denominations and creeds to join in this day that is set aside for prayer.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the City of Birmingham to be affixed this 22nd day of April, year of our Lord 2008.
Mayor Larry Langford of Birmingham, Alabama, Birmingham Weekly 51 Comments
[4/29/2008 7:41:12 AM]
Fundie Index: 3
Submitted By: David D.G.
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The fundy in Birmingham is reaching critical mass! Qw must do something before it explodes! To the TreatyOfTripoMobile!
4/29/2008 8:32:18 AM
Remove from office; unfit to lead.
4/29/2008 8:33:09 AM
"pails in comparison"
They be stealin ur bucket?
4/29/2008 8:34:47 AM
Thank God I live in Australia. We just get run of the mill local council corruption.
Can you impeach US mayors if they are clearly unfit for office, or do you have to wait for the next mayoral election to try to get rid of them?
4/29/2008 8:41:23 AM
I particularly like how the official declaration misspelled "pales". Get a proofreader!
4/29/2008 8:43:51 AM
Unfit for office seconded.
4/29/2008 8:45:26 AM
I assume the mayor wrote this proclamation himself, since I'd think aides are required to have a basic grasp of English whereas a mayor only needs to get elected somehow. The stupid is strong in this one. Near illiteracy and a faux-KJV style being used to convey muddled thinking - what a winning combination!
4/29/2008 8:52:47 AM
Unfit for office - I suggest those in Birmingham immediately begin to use whatever local laws are in place for the removal of those unfit to serve.
4/29/2008 8:54:02 AM
Please for the fucking love of your god, please be a poe.
4/29/2008 8:55:47 AM
Paschal Wagner wins the internet. The end.
Sadly no. They really did it. They got burlap sacks and ashes even.
4/29/2008 8:57:29 AM
"Having signed the proclamation, Mayor Langford dropped to his knees and bowed his head. It was several minutes before the gathered crowd realised that he was not praying, but had in fact been hit in the back of the head by a stray bullet from a nearby police shootout. Birmingham police are appealing to anybody with information to come forward."
4/29/2008 9:01:01 AM
And wouldn't it be more effective to take MEASURES to combat crime, as Rudolph Giulianni did?
4/29/2008 9:07:21 AM
Larry Paul Langford, Mayor and village idiot of Birmingham, Alabama, Jesusland.
4/29/2008 9:22:20 AM
Where's that "how to do nothing and still think you're helping" graphic?
4/29/2008 9:22:25 AM
Alabama is one fucked up state.
4/29/2008 9:57:38 AM
Birmingham, Alabama: The fundie capitol of the world.
4/29/2008 10:05:42 AM
Welcome to Alafuckingbama
4/29/2008 10:33:28 AM
"The City of Birmingham Like the City of Nineveh has experienced violence and murder"
Yeah that happens when fundies are running the asylum.
"that pails in comparison to the City of Nineveh "
It pails? Are they having a flood too?
"WHEREAS: Many residents of the City of Birmingham, like Jonah, who turned his back on Nineveh, the citizens of the City of Birmingham have not only turned their backs on God but also turned their back on the freedoms that were won by and through the civil rights struggle;"
I remember that the residents of Birmingham opposed civil rights because god said so. Save your lies for your fellow fundies.
" Chapter 3, verse 5 & 6, of the Book of Jonah, Old Testament states, "
Throwing gasoline on the murder and violence fire I see.
4/29/2008 11:50:49 AM
It's encouraging that most of the Birmingham folk who have responded to this story in the pages of the Birmingham Weekly have taken a distinctly anti-fundy line, making the point that Langford is an illiterate idiot. And an constitution-breaching one at that.
There may be hope for Alabama.
4/29/2008 12:09:57 PM
So, when exactly, do y'all think the first civil rights violation suit will be filed against the city of Birmingham? And why is this religiously prejudiced nitwit still in office?
4/29/2008 12:18:01 PM
Someone should tell the mayor about this constitution thing we have. I hear it's kind of important, and he might want to look into it.
4/29/2008 12:34:22 PM
"Per capital"? "Fourth violent"?
4/29/2008 12:43:29 PM
Don't you men per capita not per capital Mr. Mayor?
4/29/2008 12:53:52 PM
Yeah, did you read the other links? Birmingham's esteemed Mayor praises god and all that, and he donned the sackcloth the other day - - along with his Rolex.
Politics pays. I am just thankful I don't live in that hick city. Being in a city with a fucked up Mayor would be bad enough; having one who is illiterate and unfit to serve would be impossible to live with.
But, we are talking about Alabama, here. They are not exactly the most progressive, tolerant state in the country.
4/29/2008 12:57:16 PM
"...pails in comparison...per capital..."
"IT'S TIME TO PRAY"
Get this guy out of office NOW.
4/29/2008 1:04:22 PM
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