Quote# 38457

Tom asked his Mom and Dad if he could go with some friends to see an R-rated movie that was showing at their local theater. "You know that we don’t approve of R-rated movies," answered his Dad. ‘There are things in there that neither adults nor teenagers need to be watching." Tom turned on his heels and stormed up the steps and just before he turned the corner he piped, "You and mom are so old fashioned. That movie only has a few cuss words and one sex scene in it. It’s not like it’s a porno movie or anything."

Later in the evening when Tom had calmed down at bit, he was drawn downstairs by a wonderful smell coming from the kitchen. "Whatcha making, Mom?" he asked as he gave her a quick hug. "Well I thought I would make you a treat tonight. A pan of brownies is almost ready to come out of the oven."

Just then the buzzer sounded and Tom’s mouth began to water in anticipation of the savory treat. Mom cut into the moist, steaming brownies and put the largest one on a plate and handed it to Tom. Just as he was about to sink his teeth into the gooey delight, his mom said, "Oh by the way, along with the flour, sugar, butter, cocoa, and baking soda, I added a teeny bit of Petey’s dog doo-doo to the batter. But don’t worry, it was only a small amount, you probably won’t even notice it."

Click "preview the course", Setting Captives Free 110 Comments [4/29/2008 3:29:04 PM]
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:shakes head:

4/29/2008 3:31:13 PM

Did you seriously just compare creative content that you don't approve of with eating dog shit? That takes a special kind of stupid.

4/29/2008 3:34:01 PM



4/29/2008 3:34:06 PM

Terry Stroud

WOW. This is exactly my point! You add just a little religion to the world and its just like a huge pan of shit!

4/29/2008 3:34:28 PM

Allegory for Jesus

Wow...what wasteful and retarded parents! Seriously...how does watching sex scenes equate with eating dog feces, exactly, in the minds of fundies?

4/29/2008 3:34:40 PM

Quantum Mechanic

"the buzzer sounded and Tom’s mouth began to water"

Pavlov's Tom!

4/29/2008 3:35:59 PM



4/29/2008 3:37:40 PM


Baking poop for Jeebus!

4/29/2008 3:41:00 PM

Mister Spak

Well, if you'll swallow ID you'll swallow this too.

4/29/2008 3:43:42 PM

That is a stupid stupid story.

4/29/2008 3:44:04 PM

Edwardo, the patron saint of douche-baggery

Hmmm, I bet she would have gone ape shit if i gave her son some of MY special brownies.

4/29/2008 3:46:57 PM


Tom's mom is vastly too modest, taking credit for only a fraction of the ridiculous shit she interjects into her son's life.

@Allegory for Jesus: Coprophiliac bestiality porn, of course. That's what they have to get off to when they're that sexually repressed; it's the same reason the Victorian era had all kinds of kinky erotica.

4/29/2008 3:48:47 PM

captain big baby jesus

this is just stupid

I wouldn't want my kids seeing R rated movies either (though for different reasons, I think), but this is just stupid

4/29/2008 3:54:43 PM


"No wonder everybody thinks Mom's cooking always tasted like shit", thought Tom. "It was shit".

Tom took a dog-doo brownie and stuffed it in Mom's right eye. Tom took a dog-doo brownie and...

Oh wait, I'm getting my stories mixed up again.

4/29/2008 4:00:37 PM


but mom.... why can't i have the brownies with the pot in em like you and dad are eating?

4/29/2008 4:02:33 PM


This is beyond reason.

4/29/2008 4:15:17 PM


Confirming what we already know fundies believe: life is shit.

4/29/2008 4:17:16 PM

Crazy Fundie

I've heard this one before - and, knowing as much as I do about the properties of human and animal waste (don't even say it :), I would have eaten that brownie. It was perfectly safe for human consumption after having been cooked - AND I would have gotten to see the movie as a result (or so I would hope).

4/29/2008 4:23:40 PM


"Tom turned on his heels"

His high heels?


hash brownies?

This story doesn't really make sense for a few reasons:

1. Dogshit brownies would not smell good.

Or one reason.

So I'm not sure why this was submitted.

sorry if this post doesn't make any sense, I just drove a golf cart while wearing visual distortion goggles.

I guess driving under the influence causes traffic cones to stand in front of you really close together....

4/29/2008 4:29:09 PM


Doesn't sound like Tom's the one with the problem...

4/29/2008 4:32:30 PM

Jezebel's Evil Sister

Thank you, Tom's mom, for confirming what I always thought: In order to be a fundie believer, you have to be willing to swallow shit.

4/29/2008 4:33:30 PM

Dr. Quasius

If I were Tom I would eat the brownies, and then go to all the R-Rated movies I wanted to. I mean, at that point, what could his mom and dad have to say about it?

4/29/2008 4:52:04 PM


Tom's mom is lenient compared to YHVH.

Ezekiel 4:124:12 And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight.
4:13 And the LORD said, Even thus shall the children of Israel eat their defiled bread among the Gentiles, whither I will drive them.

Although to be fair God does back down on this one and lets Ezekiel use cows dung instead.

4/29/2008 4:58:53 PM


If I click on the link, I get (in FireFox 3b5):

'Reported Attack Site!

This web site at www.settingcaptivesfree.com has been reported as an attack site and has been blocked based on your security preferences.

Attack sites try to install programs that steal private information, use your computer to attack others, or damage your system.

Some attack sites intentionally distribute harmful software, but many are compromised without the knowledge or permission of their owners.'

4/29/2008 4:59:28 PM


Re: my previous comment ("it's an attack site"):

Internet Explorer 7 does *not* show the above warning. Be Careful.

4/29/2008 5:01:51 PM

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