This year for Christmas my family and friends who aren't saved are getting a great new Bible, The Passion of Christ DVD, The End Times DVD, a book on end times and a study guide for your bible on basic Christian beliefs. They can never stand before God and tell them no one tried to reach them. I won't stand in judgement of my own family and friends for not trying to share the good news.
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Good thing I don't know you, then. I allready have a Bible, a Koran, and two Gideon's. Oh, I think I have an Edda as well, and I do have books on the mythology of the Greek, Roman, Hindu etc. I'm all covered, Pascal-wise.
Yeah, I've got friends like you - the kind who get you something for Christmas that they think you should like (becasue they like it) rather than something you actually do like. Of course, one shouldn't be ungrateful, but 9 times out of 10 such presents end up in the bin or the charity shop, as I suspect your truly miserable excuses for Christmas presents will, too.
So lilbitsy, if someone bought you "The God Delusion", "God Is Not Great" and the complete first series of "Evolve" on DVD, you'd read/watch them right?
Because fifty bucks isn't a lot to pay for an education, but it'd still be a shame to waste it.
Look, if they said no a bajillion times, I doubt they'll say "yes" now. Noone likes pushy prostelyzers!
I can understand a copy of "Jesus of Nazereth", for a faith-oriented gift for Christmas/Easter, or a nice Nativity-themed toon, or a cute Precious Moments figurine...if they're technically Christian that is...but if they're not Christian, you're just being a jerk!
A Bible, A Religious Gore-Fest, A Religious Delusional Scare-Fest, A Book on said Scare-Fest & a Guide On How To Be A Fundy Wingnut is not gonna win friends, converts or anything else...just get them a set of cute Rankin-Bass X-mas toons.
Better yet, quit being a fanatic pushing your beliefs on others! GEEZ!
"This year for Christmas my family and friends who aren't saved are getting a great new Bible"
Considering the absorbency of paper used in Bibles, it'll come in handy when you run out of bog paper.
And I speak from experience (as does my arsehole!). >:D
"The Passion of Christ DVD, The End Times DVD"
Should make nice coasters at least.
"a book on end times and a study guide for your bible on basic Christian beliefs."
And when one hosts a barbecue, you'll need something to start the charcoal. Paper always comes in handy, I find...!
"They can never stand before God and tell them no one tried to reach them. I won't stand in judgement of my own family and friends for not trying to share the good news."
As a comedian once said: 'If God is the most powerful being in the universe, why does he need a bunch of bozos to do his P.R.?'
Now ask yourself that question, lilbitsyspider.
You fucking little worm. And i bet you'll be hopping up and down beside the judgement throne, fapping yourself furiously and saying "I told them! They have no excuse! Send them to hell!!"
I bet you get moist just thinking about they day all those sinners realise you were right all along. Christian? The fuck you are.
Here are the messages of your gifts:
The Bible- There is a God, and He enjoys smiting people for ill-defined reasons, watching humans "begat" a new generation, freeing the Jews and watching them take a trip in 40 years that should've taken a few months, and impregnating virgins. Oh, apparently this Jesus guy is also God, by that sounds like some fan-fiction story that was added after the fact.
Passion of the Christ- Jesus is flailed something awful, takes a long walk with a cross, and dies. I liked the movie better the first time I saw it, when it was called Reservoir Dogs. Also: a lot of subtitled babble about Jesus stuff.
End Times blather- Like the movie 2012, except it claims to be Based on a True Story, when it's even more ridiculous. The End IS Near: you now get that crazy sign-holding homeless guy down by the bus-stop, in DVD form!
Study guide for the Bible- BURN IT! BURN IT ALL! What does this look like, middle school?
If you could reach someone by giving them such crappy gifts when they have access to online Bible, can just ask any breathing American what Christians believe, and can substitute The Passion of the Christ viewing experience by watching a slasher flick and Italian porn simultaneously while saying Hail Marys, then more power to ya. But you're probably just giving them crappy gifts and pissing them off by pushing your beliefs on them in the laziest way possible.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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