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Quote# 38475

This year for Christmas my family and friends who aren't saved are getting a great new Bible, The Passion of Christ DVD, The End Times DVD, a book on end times and a study guide for your bible on basic Christian beliefs. They can never stand before God and tell them no one tried to reach them. I won't stand in judgement of my own family and friends for not trying to share the good news.

lilbitsyspider, Rapture Ready 21 Comments [4/30/2008 1:01:48 PM]
Fundie Index: 2
WTF?! || meh
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Corbin

They can never stand before God and tell them no one tried to reach them.

So you don't expect them to change and wanted to make sure they would be extra- guilty?

8/31/2010 9:28:48 PM

DarkfireTaimatsu

I hope you saved the receipts.

8/31/2010 9:35:23 PM

Swede

Good thing I don't know you, then. I allready have a Bible, a Koran, and two Gideon's. Oh, I think I have an Edda as well, and I do have books on the mythology of the Greek, Roman, Hindu etc. I'm all covered, Pascal-wise.

9/1/2010 12:21:56 AM

Justanotheratheist

Lucky them.

Talk about overkill. Are you going to hire a bulldozer to shovel all that shit down their throats? It's going to be a joyless Christmas for some poor dudes.


9/1/2010 12:58:18 AM

loki

If you want to scare people away and lose friends because you tell them they will go to hell if they don't do and believe as you tell them too it will be a lonely Christmas in the future

9/1/2010 1:53:16 AM

Blasphemina

So in other words, you were an asshole and ruined Christmas with your fanaticism.

9/1/2010 3:18:03 AM

TB Tabby

Just what I always wanted! Toilet paper and coasters!

9/1/2010 3:18:53 AM

Neith

"They can never stand before God and tell them no one tried to reach them."

Who is that first "them" referring to? The Elohim? ;)

9/1/2010 3:44:15 AM

Sevagram

Yeah, I've got friends like you - the kind who get you something for Christmas that they think you should like (becasue they like it) rather than something you actually do like. Of course, one shouldn't be ungrateful, but 9 times out of 10 such presents end up in the bin or the charity shop, as I suspect your truly miserable excuses for Christmas presents will, too.

9/1/2010 5:41:04 AM

David B.

So lilbitsy, if someone bought you "The God Delusion", "God Is Not Great" and the complete first series of "Evolve" on DVD, you'd read/watch them right?

Because fifty bucks isn't a lot to pay for an education, but it'd still be a shame to waste it.

9/1/2010 5:55:28 AM

SpukiKitty

Look, if they said no a bajillion times, I doubt they'll say "yes" now. Noone likes pushy prostelyzers!
I can understand a copy of "Jesus of Nazereth", for a faith-oriented gift for Christmas/Easter, or a nice Nativity-themed toon, or a cute Precious Moments figurine...if they're technically Christian that is...but if they're not Christian, you're just being a jerk!
A Bible, A Religious Gore-Fest, A Religious Delusional Scare-Fest, A Book on said Scare-Fest & a Guide On How To Be A Fundy Wingnut is not gonna win friends, converts or anything else...just get them a set of cute Rankin-Bass X-mas toons.
Better yet, quit being a fanatic pushing your beliefs on others! GEEZ!

9/1/2010 6:10:10 AM

Anon-e-moose

"This year for Christmas my family and friends who aren't saved are getting a great new Bible"

Considering the absorbency of paper used in Bibles, it'll come in handy when you run out of bog paper.

And I speak from experience (as does my arsehole!). >:D

"The Passion of Christ DVD, The End Times DVD"

Should make nice coasters at least.

"a book on end times and a study guide for your bible on basic Christian beliefs."

And when one hosts a barbecue, you'll need something to start the charcoal. Paper always comes in handy, I find...!

"They can never stand before God and tell them no one tried to reach them. I won't stand in judgement of my own family and friends for not trying to share the good news."

As a comedian once said: 'If God is the most powerful being in the universe, why does he need a bunch of bozos to do his P.R.?'

Now ask yourself that question, lilbitsyspider.

9/1/2010 8:11:35 AM

Wozza

You fucking little worm. And i bet you'll be hopping up and down beside the judgement throne, fapping yourself furiously and saying "I told them! They have no excuse! Send them to hell!!"

I bet you get moist just thinking about they day all those sinners realise you were right all along. Christian? The fuck you are.

9/1/2010 8:23:53 AM

anti-nonsense

I bet you don't have very many friends left after you did that.

9/1/2010 10:06:12 AM

Canadiest

The Grinch has got nothing on end-timers misery

9/1/2010 10:46:21 AM



I hope your family have a tradition of sitting around fire-places.
Except for the DVD, they probably won't want to do that.

9/1/2010 11:09:50 AM

The Duelist

Better buy them some gas-masks too, to help them cope with the stench of the bullsh!t they're gonna get on Christmas Morning...

9/2/2010 3:56:18 PM

Philbert McAdamia

Really, lilbitsybrain, I'd rather just have the lump of coal.




Oh, and Happy Holidays.

9/3/2010 9:52:33 PM

ThisTroper

Have fun being that family member never invited anywhere!

9/9/2010 12:16:29 AM

Allegory for Jesus

Here are the messages of your gifts:
The Bible- There is a God, and He enjoys smiting people for ill-defined reasons, watching humans "begat" a new generation, freeing the Jews and watching them take a trip in 40 years that should've taken a few months, and impregnating virgins. Oh, apparently this Jesus guy is also God, by that sounds like some fan-fiction story that was added after the fact.
Passion of the Christ- Jesus is flailed something awful, takes a long walk with a cross, and dies. I liked the movie better the first time I saw it, when it was called Reservoir Dogs. Also: a lot of subtitled babble about Jesus stuff.
End Times blather- Like the movie 2012, except it claims to be Based on a True Story, when it's even more ridiculous. The End IS Near: you now get that crazy sign-holding homeless guy down by the bus-stop, in DVD form!
Study guide for the Bible- BURN IT! BURN IT ALL! What does this look like, middle school?

If you could reach someone by giving them such crappy gifts when they have access to online Bible, can just ask any breathing American what Christians believe, and can substitute The Passion of the Christ viewing experience by watching a slasher flick and Italian porn simultaneously while saying Hail Marys, then more power to ya. But you're probably just giving them crappy gifts and pissing them off by pushing your beliefs on them in the laziest way possible.

3/7/2011 8:51:08 PM

Quantum Mechanic

"who aren't saved"

Please learn to spell.
Try 'who aren't insane.'

7/29/2013 12:30:37 AM
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