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Quote# 40022

Satan is the most brilliant and powerful of the Gods. He is symbolized by the Water Bearer of the sign of Aquarius, the 11th sign of the Zodiac. Aquarius is the sign of humanity, technology and genius. One of Satan's numbers is 11.

Satan/Enki established the Ancient Egyptian Order of the Serpent, also known as "The Brotherhood of the Snake." Through the millennia, the teachings have been corrupted and no longer resemble the original doctrines. This Order was to bring humanity godly knowledge and power and to complete the Great Work of transforming our souls. This knowledge has been kept in the hands of a few and abused to the detriment of us all under the direction of the enemy gods. People are told if they are given this power, they will abuse it. This is another lie created and spread by those who deliberately use these powers for nefarious ends under the direction of the enemy extraterrestrials masquerading as “jehova” and company. To reveal these well-kept secrets to the average person would assure that those in control would no longer retain their power.

The Gods are an extra-terrestrial humanoid race of beings. In the Christian bible, they are referred to as the "Nephilim." These beings are very evolved, highly advanced, and immensely knowledgable and powerful. They genetically modified their DNA, so they do not age.

In the Simon version of the Necronomicon (this book is based upon Mesopotamian/Sumerian mythology, even though classified as a work of fiction), the phrase: "When the Great Bear hangs low in the sky" refers to the constellation Ursa Major, part of the Big Dipper. When the planets align a certain way, it opens up a travel line for space travelers. People are always looking to the sky for when the Gods will return.

Humanity’s sole purpose was for use as slave laborers in the mines for the Nephilim. We were to be destroyed after the gold mining project was completed. Satan, along with many of the Nephilim fathered children with human mothers. These offspring were known as "Demi-Gods."

Satan is incredibly strong, brilliant, and powerful. He refused to admit defeat. He lost a battle, but not the war. SATAN/LUCIFER STANDS FOR FREEDOM FROM TYRANNY!

Joy of Satan Ministries, Joy of Satan Ministries 26 Comments [5/28/2008 11:04:28 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Fearsombob
WTF?! || meh
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#519070
Phil

Satanist Fundies FTW?

5/28/2008 11:08:57 PM

#519287
christian centrist

Gee that's nice to know.

When are they getting you out of your straight jacket?

5/29/2008 2:36:59 AM

#519306
Old Viking

Please send more information on the Big Dipper.

5/29/2008 2:49:57 AM

#519479
Pickle

What the fuck is this, darkstalkers?

5/29/2008 7:47:40 AM

#519496
Doctor Fishcake

Ummm, what?

5/29/2008 9:05:04 AM

#519503
aaa

Whee! More Satanists.

5/29/2008 9:36:21 AM

#519545
Sanity

Wow, he's on the L. Ron Hubbard level of insanity...

Also, Lovecraft invented the Necronomicon, it doesn't exist. Kinda like most of the things mentioned.

5/29/2008 10:59:51 AM

#519763
Yog-Sothoth


5/29/2008 3:25:02 PM

#520274
Vinroke

shouldn't this be in FSTDT?

5/29/2008 8:25:02 PM

#520325
Fanatic-Templar

I for one welcome out goa'uld overlords.

5/29/2008 8:59:01 PM

#520415
Cthulhu

...?

Fgthan?

5/29/2008 10:12:09 PM

#520451
The Crotch


5/29/2008 10:51:14 PM

#520647
Darth Wang

You know, I was never really all that insulted when fundies called me a Satanist until I read this. I don't want to be associated with nuts like this.

5/30/2008 1:50:32 AM

#521039
tmr

How the hell do people like you function on a daily basis?

5/30/2008 11:22:22 AM

#521621
Antichrist

Wow, so how much do you charge your marks followers for this secret information?

5/30/2008 10:06:19 PM

#521712
Empress of Zind

This is another lie created and spread by those who deliberately use these powers for nefarious ends under the direction of the enemy extraterrestrials masquerading as “jehova” and company.

David Icke? Is that you?

5/31/2008 12:19:17 AM

#521956
JonnyTruant

Stargate much?

5/31/2008 2:28:10 PM

#522071
Sawyer

>>How the hell do people like you function on a daily basis?

I'd imagine they don't really let any of this effect their daily lives. This sort of fiery, "enlightened" sort of deal probably just serves as an ego booster and validation.

At the end of the day I don't think many fundies really really believe in their words enough to really act on them in any serious/practical way. That kind of faith just isn't around anymore.

5/31/2008 7:50:40 PM

#526379
Thammuz

I know you liked paradise lost but get over it! It was just a work of fiction.

6/4/2008 9:11:46 AM

#527650
a basking shark

The Necronomicon? Dumbshit.

6/4/2008 11:07:50 PM

#537825


I have a better explanation:

Life evolved.

It was an accident that, due to natural selection, refused to die out.

Some of it evolved far enough to write idiotic fanfics.

6/11/2008 5:26:33 PM

#564244
Lucifer's Penis

I was wondering why there were no Satanist fundies on here. But of all the Satanists out there, this is THE one that deserves to be quoted on here.
Hell, you could make a seperate section of this website called Satanists Say the Darndest Things, consisting soley of quotes from this lady.

6/29/2008 12:17:35 AM

#568677
Jax

Not really a conspiracy theory, more of a religion.

7/2/2008 3:02:53 AM

#1144944
jabba the slut

astrology, numerology, mythology, conspiracies, and pseudo science. I mean, fuck, its a great story. And I readily admit that it would be cool if it all were all true. Really cool. I'd love to live in a reality where all this shit was going on. But it isn't... and, you're lying.. so fuck you.

4/8/2010 1:08:13 PM

#1296220
M

What.

I have no idea what this means.

Okay, let's take this slowly.

1. Satan = Good guy, Jehovah = Bad guy.
2. Nephilim = Gods = Aliens.
3. Satan = Aquarius = Ganymede.


Got it.

Is it bad that this religion doesn't bother me?

6/5/2011 10:58:41 AM
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