Nuclear war will begin next Thursday, June 12, or sooner, according to the latest prediction of self-proclaimed prophet Yisrayl “Buffalo Bill” Hawkins, the founder of a religious sect in Abilene, Texas.
“It could be turned loose before then,” Hawkins told 20/20 for a report to be broadcast tonight. “You’re going to see this very soon, really soon,” he said.
Hundreds of truck trailers have been loaded with food and water on the group’s 44-acre compound, in preparation for the coming war.
132 comments
I'm with Mystical Chicken, I've got plans to be in Atlanta on the 27th.
Could we maybe put it off until, oh, August 24th? Then I won't have to experience the DNC here in Denver with a rabid fundie father.
"Seriously how the hell does people like this manage to actually get followers."
How does any of the crap that sells as entertainment in the US nowadays actually get sold?
"Thursday, June 12, or sooner"
I'll sneak up behind one of them and pop a paper bag, and you film it with this camera.
That's not how you do it, Hawkins. You're supposed to be vague enough in your prophecies that you can always claim they came true. You know, like, "A major storm will strike the Southern U.S. in 2008".
OK, so it's June 12, but he doesn't say what time. Hah!
Oh, shit, I have to work that day - phooey. I won't be able to watch it on TV.
Hey, this guy is in Texas - maybe he sitteth on the right hand of George Bush and has some inside skinny . . .
Naw!
[You know there's something wrong with your religion if your prophet's nickname is "Buffalo Bill"]
That's because he skins his humps...oh, sorry, wrong movie.
"Other former members say they are required to buy doomsday food and supplies from a company that Hawkins owns personally, Life Nutrition Products."
Could this be his real motivation? Naw, he's just so concerned about his followers like a good ol Texas boy.
To roughly paraphrase Futurama
'Oh yeah, global warming happened - but it was cancelled out by nuclear winter'
Been a bit hot around here lately anyways, and my snowboard did not even get used last winter - bring it on :)
10 bucks for whoever comes up with the exact excuse this guy will be spouting on Friday the 13th...
Carl SAgon
# One prominent American religion confidently predicted that the world would end in 1914. Well, 1914 has come and gone, and - whole the events of that year were certainly of some importance - the world did not, at least so far as I can see, seem to have ended. There are at least three responses that an organized religion can make in the face of such a failed and fundamental prophecy. They could have said, Oh, did we say '1914'? So sorry, we meant '2014'. A slight error in calculation. Hope you weren't inconvinenced in any way. But they did not. They could have said, Well, the world would have ended, except we prayed very hard and interceded with God so He spared the Earth. But they did not. Instead, the did something much more ingenious. They announced that the world had in fact ended in 1914, and if the rest of us hadn't noticed, that was our lookout. It is astonishing in the fact of such transparent evasions that this religion has any adherents at all. But religions are tough. Either they make no contentions which are subject to disproof or they quickly redesign doctrine after disproof. The fact that religions can be so shamelessly dishonest, so contemptuous of the intelligence of their adherents, and still flourish does not speak very well for the tough- mindedness of the believers. But it does indicate, if a demonstration was needed, that near the core of the religious experience is something remarkably resistant to rational inquiry. [Carl Sagan, Broca's Brain]
Oh, I hope it happens early in the morning so I don't have to go to my dreaded mammogram appointment at 2pm. The one the doctor has been hounding me about endlessly for several months because I blew off my last one. Who cares what condition my body is in since it will be blown to smithereens. Cool. No more body part crushing examinations.
I will, however, be quite sorry to miss the cruise we are booked to go on during the Christmas holidays with family. I was looking forward to that. Do you think nuclear war will hit the Caribbean, Yisrayl? Most of the Caribbean is rather peaceful and friendly and really don't deserve to be blown up. Maybe we can just go there and wait it all out?
I have a GCSE geography exam on the 12th.
A nuclear war is happening on the 12th.
THEREFORE(!!1111111///) geography exams are nuclear wars.
Hundreds of truck trailers have been loaded with food and water on the group’s 44-acre compound, in preparation for the coming war.
at least they're supporting the local economy :-)
Let's see...This will make 0 for 2,940,934,756,921.
Holy shit, this is where I live.
Unfortunately, considering the general population, having people like this is not all that surprising. Anyway, June 12th... cool. It's nice when people set a date to showcase their failures.
edit;
Oh, this is that House of Yahweh guy. I'm not as surprised anymore. He's done this stuff before.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
tick, tick, tick ...
Nuclear war will begin next Thursday, June 12
I'll remember that.
Remind me, what does the Bible say we should do to should we do to false prophets?
Oh boy! I hope the radiation gives me mutant superpowers!
Hey, it's more likely than getting nuked on Thursday.
Dang, the Spore Editor comes out on the 17th.
Of course, it's more likely that someone working for Maxis believes in the war and releases it early than this war will actually happen.
Well hell, I guess I don't have to worry about my bills that are due the 13th then, huh?
What d'you think he'll say next Friday when the world's still around? "Oops, I meant Thursday, June 12, 2014"?
Someone needs to go all-in and get a written contract that says they will drop out of propheteering and / or abandon their faith if their next prophesy is wrong.
Cause I know this n00b will change the date as soon as he's proven wrong.
spaceiswater:
Post-trib. That's all I have to say about that.
Anyway, the thing that gets me -- the Bible hates hates HATES false prophets, but many Christians seem to have no problem with them at all. Whassupwiddat?
My band is opening for Mindless Self Indulgence on the 15th
so there better not be a nuclear war!
lol
Ahh, i can see the 13th rolling around and there excuse is that they were lets see a year of or no 10 years off, or maybe they forgot to move the decimal in thier dooms-day calculator. lol
i guess if they keep predicting they'll be right eventually.
the world isn't allowed to end until Spore comes out. Period.
In other news, I will be LMAO at this idiot on Friday.
20/20 has no freakin' business giving airtime to certifiably insane religious fanatics -- unless, of course, they do a follow-up interview with this nutcase soon after the event fails to materialize at the appointed time and provide properly scathing coverage of it (in prime time).
~David D.G.
Damn it, not before I find out what Alien X looks like!
I got a gynecologist's appointment the day before though... gah, I didn't think I was that bad down there.
Nuclear war will begin next Thursday, June 12, or sooner, according to the latest prediction of self-proclaimed prophet Yisrayl “Buffalo Bill” Hawkins, the founder of a religious sect in Abilene, Texas.
OH NOES!!! *stocks up on iodine salts & canned goods*
24 hrs 2 wup yr ass TX tym.
Whoops! Sorry...
24 hours until we get to whoop your ass, TEXAS TIME!
Edit:damnit, beat by Son of a Nonymous
Well, I slathered myself in sunblock and sat in my yard looking out for the fireballs and mushroom clouds and what did I get ?
Nothing! thats what I got. Absolutely fucking nothing, nowt!, nada!, zip, zero, zilch, complete and total bugger all!
No nuclear war, not even a nuclear tiff! Boy, am I disappointed!
Actually, I did get a tan and the day off work so its not all bad.
Well,,, it's Thurday afternoon, here. Damn, and I spent all day watching the news channel and nothing happened!
Coming up on twelve noon Denver time. We're only one time zone off TX, and nothin' yet.
Dang, now I wish I'd watched Jericho. Oh wait, the war started in Denver on Jericho, didn't it?
Nevermind ...
But hey, if this idjit is right, we won't have to slog through the endless hate attacks between McCain and Obama between now and November!
*sneaks up behind Hawkins* BOOM!!!!
It is now 1:00 AM in Georgia, midnight in Texas, and we yet live! Sorry Yisrayl, better luck next year. For now, friends, let the shameless mocking... BEGIN!!
It's 12:11 AM, June 13, and I've yet to see this nucle....ahhhh, it's the midnight sun! DUCK AND COVE--
(And it was at this point that Crazy Fundie was reduced to a pile of greasy ash, for daring to question the predictions of Yisrayl “Buffalo Bill” Hawkins)
It's now 0002 on Friday 13, 02008 here in Tucson, and I feel fine.
And they laughed when I said I would wait out the apocalypse in Arizona.
...And another apocalyptic prediction turns out to be wrong. You have to admire the stubbornness, with their cumulative score of perfect failure for roughly 2000 years.
After all, if any had been right, we wouldn't be here to argue, would we?..
what a waste of food and water in the truck trailers. Think of the starving African children who could have had that food if you hadn't been hording it for your stupid nuclear holocaust which was never going to happen anyway.
Yisrayl, It's your fault that African children who could have been saved with just a little food weren't!!!
Rawley:
Tell me about it. I don't even have any emergency communications -- my FRS radios got fried by the EMP and now the only thing that works in the house for communications is the fireplace. I'm posting this by an RFC 1149 connection.
Aw, dammit. I gotta go. There's another radioactive coyote trying to dig up a neighbor's corpse.
So, how soon is "very soon, really soon"? 10 years? 150? Or perhaps 1980 years?
After all, shouldn't Jesus come back "soon" to his disciples, while they were still alive?
>12/6/08
“It could be turned loose before then, You’re going to see this very soon, really soon”
>18/4/14
The Met Office weather forecaster on BBC News yesterday said that my part of the UK would have patchy clouds with sunny intervals today.
Guess whose prediction was correct, YisFAIL?
And you don't need the Met Office's savage Chaos Theory mathematics data-crunching supercomputers to figure out that one, neither.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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