My oldest son is unsaved, and I drive him to and from work, so he doesn't need house keys but I've been worrying about how he'd get in the house if we were raptured while he was at work. I knew if I suggested he carry a set of keys "in case of rapture" he'd belittle the idea, but last night he said "You may not have noticed, but I've got your spare keys, do you mind if I keep them?" It made me wonder if it's getting close and the Lord is preparing the way.
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"It made me wonder if it's getting close and the Lord is preparing the way."
Keep thinking that way, be as startlingly oblivious to the world as you are, and your son can at least have a normal teenage life, not always worrying that crazy-mom is gonna catch him.
"It made me wonder if it's getting close and the Lord is preparing the way."
"Let's see, is the antichrist in position? Yep. Nobody knows his identity? Perfect. Angel ready to blow the celestial trumpet? Great. Saint Peter ready for the influx of new arrivals? Check. Has that guy's son got his keys? No! Let me just tinker with this here... there! Now all the pieces are in place: let the apocalypse commence!"
If you are spending your time worrying about how your son will get into the house when you are magically beamed up into the sky, you are not only in need of medication, but also in need of some GODDAMNED PRIORITIES!
So let me get this straight...humoring you and assuming all this rapture nonsense is true...
...your son is unsaved, which means he'll be left behind when this rapture occurs...and his sudden need for a spare set of keys causes you to think about how near the rapture is (OH JOY! JOY!)...NOT about the fact that your SON will be LEFT BEHIND?
Mom of the Year, right there...
Maybe he just wanted to be able to unlock the front door.
I know, I know, I am being simplistic.
Or maybe he doesn't want to have to depend on you people to get in and out. A) It's freakin annoying to be old enough to work while still having to stand outside, ringing the damn bell to the house you live in. Just because he comes home from work with you does not mean there are not other times when he has to do so. Further more, it's an annoyance in and of itself to wait for one of your parents to make their way out of the car and to the door to let you in when you can be there faster. B)You're right to be worried about something happening to you two while he's at work. But, you should be way more worried about a car accident or something grounded in reality that would put one or both of you in the hospital. C) What is wrong with you people that you didn't think to give him a key when he was much younger? It teaches responsibility - No wonder he hasn't moved out of your house yet, you baby him.
He's old enough to work but you don't think he's old enough to have a key?
I am lost for words...
But not when it comes to the apparent complete indifference with which these (insert the most obscene insult you can think of) treat their own children . Not saved? Condemned to hell? Pffft. Too bad. Here's a house key. Have fun while we're off enjoying ourselves in heaven...
The words 'vile', 'contemptible' and 'should have been sterilised at birth' come to mind.
(And I still think that 'Check this box if you're a human' should read 'check this box if you're a sentient'. There are times - becoming more frequent, alas - when I really do not wish to be considered 'human'.)
"My oldest son is unsaved, and I drive him to and from work, so he doesn't need house keys but I've been worrying about how he'd get in the house if we were raptured while he was at work."
Well: Rock + Window = Skeleton Key
"I knew if I suggested he carry a set of keys "in case of rapture" he'd belittle the idea, but last night he said "You may not have noticed, but I've got your spare keys, do you mind if I keep them?" It made me wonder if it's getting close and the Lord is preparing the way."
You people are screwy as all hell.
Wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall of that house?
"But what about the Rapture???"
"oh, yeah, that. Hey, listen, if you and Dad get, uh, raptured, can I have your car?"
Yes, Your son is a harbinger of the apocalypse.
In the bible it is written, "when the stars fall from the sky, when the unbelieving child shall want the keys, an he not need the keys, the day of atonement shall be nigh.
Seriously, this even more stupid than usual for RR.
I wonder how old your son is.
If he goes to work one shuld assume that he should be old enough to have his own set of keys (he probably is at least 16).
One also wonders if he spends his whole life apart rom work in the house, as one should assume that he would need a key if he does other outside activities apart from working. Things like going shopping, doing sports, going to cinema, meeting friends and all the other activities that people do. f
Let me get this straight...
You've been too busy worrying about something that won't happen to notice that your son took the spare set of keys? On top of that, you're seeing it as a sign of the rapture.
image
How old is this son? I got my own keys back when i started to come home from school by myself, which was around 11 years old iirc.
He probably nicked your spare keys so he could sneak out of the house to his girlfriend/boyfriend (for some reason im thinking the second. Just a feeling.....)
Seriously - how do these people actually function in normal everyday life?
When every tiny, perfectly rational occurrence suddenly takes on some immense supernatural significance, reality and delusion must be inseparable for them. How does anyone actually function in that state if they are not locked away in some institution under constant supervision?
Maybe RR is like some virtual St Elsewhere: it's really just some autistic child's dream and the forum participants are really figments of his/her imagination ... you gotta wonder ... really ...
Yea, and it is written: The son shall ask for the keys to the house of their forefathers.
For the demon shall bear a nine-bladed sword. Nine-bladed! Not two or five or seven, but nine, which he will wield on all wretched sinners, sinners just like you, sir, there, and the horns shall be on the head...
There shall, in that time, be rumours of things going astray, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment.
At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.
just give him the keys. If he's old enough for a job, he's old enough to have his own keys to the house.
And, no, god is not preparing anything. God is fictional.
My informal chart of what heralds the antichrist's immediate arrival here on earth, as according to fstdt quotees:
Needing a house key for convenience.
Women wearing pants.
Women wearing anything short of a burka.
Teenagers having sex.
Anybody having sex.
Gays getting married.
Christians being 'oppressed'.
The weather in Illinois.
Obama getting elected as Democratic representative.
The Chinese earthquake.
The nuclear war that supposedly going down on the 12th.
Vaccinations.
Music.
If I were the son, I would sell all my parents' earthly goods on ebay and have a moving company take it away when the parents were out...then when they came home and started screaming, tell them their furniture got Raptured and they've been Left Behind.
Then I would use the money from the sale to set up my own home far, far, far away from these nutjobs. And live happily ever after.
And when he opened the seventh seal, there followed a silence in heaven about the space of half an hour.
And I saw the seven angels that stand before God; and there were given unto them seven trumpets.
And another angel came and stood over the altar, having a golden censer; and there was given unto him much incense, that he should add it unto the prayers of all the saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne.
And the smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, went up before God out of the angel's hand.
And the angel taketh the censer; and he filled it with the fire of the altar, and cast it upon the earth: and there followed thunders, and voices, and lightnings, and an earthquake.
And the seven angels that had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound.
And lo, another angel approacheth and sayeth to the seven angels "Hark, sound not your trumpets! Little Timmy Dipshitski will surely be unable to enter into his own home if thy trumpets soundeth now! Stay your hands until the hour that tygerkittn may get herself to a hardware store and maketh a duplicate!"
And thus, the seven angels laid down their trumpets, and didst thus take a smoke break.
I would love to play a joke on someone like this. Sneak everyone else out of the house in the middle of the night then blow a trumpet outside her bedroom window to wake her up. She awakens with joy in her heart thinking "the time" has come, only to realize she was the only one in the house left behind.
When I was a teen-ager, I had keys to my house, and my parents actually wanted me to bring a girl home.
Didn't matter, though. I wasn't that one-guy-in-ten who can actually attract girls. :-(
LOL Scotty
At 6 there was a key hidden on the property (in the dog house, nobody was getting that key that the dog didn't know), my parents considered that more secure than trusting a 6-year-old with a key. But it was there, in case they were out and couldn't get home before me.
By the time I was working (13), I had my own keys. These people really keep their kids on a short leash, I'm actually amazed she lets an unsaved heathen stay in the house even if he is her son.
These people can't be serious. Can they?
It is amazing that with all the shit this woman must have been laying down for all this kids life and he is still "unsaved". It just goes to show how powerful just a little bit of reason can be and how important it is that we find ways to educate children...find ways to teach them to think for themselves. That is the only way to break this chain.
Your son is old enough to work, but has no house key of his own? I got a house key when I was 13 and still in school.
If the rapture actually happened, your son could get a locksmith to open the door for him. You ought to contact one anyway, as a spare key ought to be, well, spare as in "not in use".
"4 years later... "
8 years later....
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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