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Quote# 40762

They are here doing the work of Satan, to try and discredit God.
Remember, in the absence of God there is evil. Satan is evil.

Pick and choose which questions you open, Satan is working full time on most of the people that post on this forum in order to deceive you and pull you away from God. If you are not strong spiritually and you are not wearing the Word of God as Armour you may be in danger.

Heaven Elizabeth, Yahoo Answers 27 Comments [6/12/2008 2:19:52 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
WTF?! || meh
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#538638
AlTheCake

How can there be an absence of God if God is omnipresent.

6/12/2008 2:30:41 AM
#538680
Septic Sceptic

"Satan is working full time on most of the people that post on this forum in order to deceive you and pull you away from God."

"Lord, Lord! Disaster!"

"What is it Gabriel? Calm yourself."

"It's Satan, Lord, he's attacked the mortals in the most devastating way possible!"

"You mean... my mighty Church has fallen to his tricky?"

"Worse!"

"He's corrupted the Bible, my very Word?"

"Worse even than that, my dear God! He's... he's attacked Yahoo Answers!"

6/12/2008 3:10:14 AM
#538691
Godbuster

*BANG*


AAAAHHHHhhhh...oh my...holy...shi...this...this...Word of God, didn't help at all...

What ?...WHat???...get a doctor ! Please. I'm...I'm dying.....NOOO...Not a priest....*gurgle*

6/12/2008 3:16:39 AM
#538707
Grigadil

Paper armor. Very reliable.

6/12/2008 3:26:03 AM
#538736
dpareja

Grigadil: I was planning on buying a bunch of hardcover Bibles and using the covers.

6/12/2008 3:48:49 AM
#538758
Allegory for Jesus

"You are either with us, or against us. Either white, or black. Either Christian or Satanic. Either conservative or Satanic. Either straight or Satanic. There are no other alternatives!!! Embrace the weaponry of Jesus today!!1!!1!"

6/12/2008 4:00:04 AM
#538816


Ha. Yeah, God's omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent..

But if you don't tell him to be there for you, he won't be able to stop Satan.

Wowz

6/12/2008 4:43:48 AM
#538838
dirtyape

Word of God Armour Level 1+
This armour is invisible to all, except the wearer.

Lvl 1: +10 0gp

Armour: Illusionary, Cursed.
Enhancement: Will
Property: Gain an item bonus on Will saves against logical arguments.
Property: Gain a -10 item penalty to Intelligence and Diplomacy checks.
Power: Denial, at will the armour wearer may choose to deny an observable reality or a logical argument.
Power: Infection, persons in close contact with an individual wearing Word of God armour must make a will save (DC10) or an intelligence check (DC10) or they will receive their own Word of God armour.

6/12/2008 5:07:31 AM
#538878
Priestling

@dirtyape: I think I love you... I'm tempted to make that in the Neverwinter Nights item mod function now...

6/12/2008 7:08:24 AM
#538943
Dr. Gus

In danger of getting a clue and start using his/her brain?

6/12/2008 9:30:16 AM
#538964
anevilmeme

@dirtyape thank you that was funny and insightful. Fundtards do come across as people playing a game they are taking way too seriously.

6/12/2008 9:58:18 AM
#539107
Eden

If with Satan you mean the snake in Eden,
I think the only bad thing she has done is,
telling Eve the truth about the tree of knowledge ;)

6/12/2008 12:57:03 PM
#539118
aaa

dirtyape, That was brilliant.

6/12/2008 1:04:07 PM
#539120
tmr

God has really dropped the ball in letting satan get to so many and to such levels.

6/12/2008 1:05:13 PM
#539283
CeilingCat

Interwebz for Satan!

6/12/2008 2:38:46 PM
#539284
Lefty Link

I always thought Satan worked part time and had weekends off.

6/12/2008 2:39:27 PM
#539317
Jezebel's Evil Sister

The Word of God as Armour?

Oh, I get it! You've etched bible verses into your tinfoil hat.

6/12/2008 2:52:43 PM
#539769
Poisoned Rationality

*Giggles* I echo the net-love for dirtyape. Very nice! :)

6/12/2008 7:44:38 PM
#539803
A. Person

Here's one more for dirtyape. Comic Genius!

6/12/2008 7:59:20 PM
#540053
Jeff Weskamp

Bravo for dirtyape!!! I believe he wrote up the item in 4th Edition format. Super! I've ordered the 4th Edition core rulebooks from Amazon.com; they're due to arrive in the mail this Tuesday.

Yet again, bravo for dirtyape!

6/12/2008 11:06:27 PM
#540058
Jeff Weskamp

And speaking of 4th Edition, the 4th Edition Core Rulebook Gift Set is ranked #5 in Book Sales on Amazon.com. That's mighty impressive for a gaming product!

6/12/2008 11:11:18 PM
#540087
nfp

Remember, in the absence of God there is evil.

Wrong--according to your mythology, your storm god is omnipresent. By definition there can be no absence of god. JHVH-1 allows Satan to rule the earth. Satan is JHVH-1's creation Therefore god is both the author and endorser of evil.

Don't like it? Convert.

EDIT: Personally, I suspect the ideas of the "devil," "satan," and "lucifer," are all personifications of non-Hebrew thought from ancient times. The Adversary is born out of xenophobia. I mean, so many cultures at the time used the serpent as a symbol of learning, knowledge, wisdom, medicine, and technology. It only makes sense that the early Hebrew folklorists would paint the snake as evil and "anti-god," especially since they had such an intense love/hate relationship with the Egyptians. Just an idea.

6/12/2008 11:45:50 PM
#540222
Old Viking

Satan used to cut a dashing, daring figure. Now he's reduced to dicking around with Yahoo?

6/13/2008 1:30:56 AM
#540647
Pepupapi

dirtyape is made of pwn.

6/13/2008 11:42:14 AM
#542952
Nirjuana

"Word of God as Armour"?!

Nah, I'd say Kevlar or even chain mail would be more useful that paper armor

6/15/2008 12:09:25 AM
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