It just kills me that the most important guest (Jesus) who is holy, righteous, and loving and true was not invited to the shower or the wedding!
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WTF? Why would Jesus go to the shower? Why not the stag party?
Also, if this person is for real, I can only conclude that food is too easy to find nowadays.
That whole post is hilarious. And here's more fundie goodness from later in the thread:
"excellent witnessing opportunity! when someone uses a superstition around me, i tell them it's not true and what the Lord says about it."
Yes, let's turn the bridal shower into your own personal opportunity to convince everyone else they're going to hell unless they acknowledge that you're right. Selfish SOB.
Apparently, someone you know got married and didn't do it fundie style. Oh well, you can't win 'em all.
The whole thread is mind numbing.
Well, Jesus wasn't at my wedding or shower, either. And, 11 years later, we're still married. And, we've been told often that our wedding was one hell of an awesome party - so there was a lot of joy there, even without Jesus.
I wonder what their argument would be for the survival of my marriage? Especially since we had sex and lived together for 3.5 years before getting married.
It is fundies I wouldn't invite to any party or celebration I had.
It just kills me that the most important guest (Jesus) who is holy, righteous, and loving and true was not invited to the shower or the wedding!
Well, you know how it is. Jesus always starts with his Captain Bring-down rap. "Stop dancing!" "No alcohol!" "Get your hands off the bridesmaids!" And his stories are really dull; lots of talents and wheat and virgins. Weird stuff, man.
Oh and Jesus has a lot of friends who like to wear Nehru jackets and diddle little boys. Those guys bring the worst snacks to the party. Who the Hell wants cheap wine and unleavened bread? Pry open that solid gold wallet and spring for some thin crust pizzas, guys.
"It just kills me"
We can hope.
I was at party back in the '80s when jesus showed up-uninvited! Talk about a buzz-kill. First he hits the keg, and he's got all this foam in his beard. Then he walks across the pool, and I called him an attention whore. He got all pissy with me, so I knocked him the fuck out. The cops came and made everybody split. Stay the hell away from any party that this clown my come to.
Later in the thread:
"excellent witnessing opportunity! when someone uses a superstition around me, i tell them it's not true and what the Lord says about it. "
I literally facepalm'd, and quite nearly headdesk'd.
EDIT: *doh* libber beat me. :P
I e-mailed him, and it returned with this:
Error 15: Recipient doesn't exist. Please try e-mailing someone else.
Not inviting Jesus was a big mistake. He came to my wedding. We were serving some nondescript merlot, and He took one sniff and said "you're serving this crap"? He said it with a bit of a sneer, but with a twinkle in His eye that made you think He was just busting your chops. He took the water pitcher from the waitress and, ignoring her somewhat obvious staring at His well-toned body, said "Here. Try this". Damned if it didn't taste just like 1961 Château Léoville-Las Cases. He made us a whole case of the stuff. We ended up staggering out with Him as drunk as the lord He is. We ended up in Atlantic City at Caesar's, playing high-end craps. He passed 14 times in a row, but when I was ready to make a big bet on His fifteenth, He just smiled and said "Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God" and walked away from the table. A cool guy, but you could never tell whether He was serious or not.
You know, I think the post that started the thread was actually worse than this -- people freaking out because someone gave the bride a set of knives. Fuck that shit -- someone buys me a nice knife, the first thing that goes through my head is "you are so... fucking... AWESOME!" Superstition is just as stupid as fundamentalism. And a good knife is a cook's best friend.
"It just kills me that the most important guest (Jesus) who is holy, righteous, and loving and true was not invited to the shower [...]"
Cut it off there and it looks very creepy.
This is why nobody from my side of the family was invited to my wedding.
The inlaws are Buddhist, much cooler people.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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