Like many atheists, it sounds like you have to really talk yourself into believing there's no God.

And whenever we have to talk ourselves into believing or doing something, then there's probably a problem with that something.

No offense, but we who know and follow God are intellectually stronger than people who do not.

We don't need proof, nor do we need to see Him physically, to accept that He exists. It takes a certain mental and intellectual strength to do that -- something which atheists don't have.