Watchin' the sky! What a thrilling ride! - - Of course it'll be over before we even know what happened!
Maybe we'll all be like little kids saying- "Do it again, Jesus! Do it again! That was FUN!! Do it again, Jesus!!!!"
62 comments
Now I'm picturing a bunch of Christians in the back seat of the car, making a ton of noise, while Jesus is driving up front, threatening to turn the car around and go back to earth if they don't shut up.
Who will save us from the fundie hoarde who believe the Rapture is so imminent?
"Do it again, Jesus! End the world again! It was FUN!"
Your beliefs are morbid.
And your monster-god Jeebus will wheel upon you, His pitiless eyes swivelling threateningly up and down the jubilant throng, and bellow, "Shaddap and siddown, all you pathetic wretches, 'nless you feel like base-jumping into some molten sulfur!" He will then return gleefully to His task of brutally slaughtering everyone who didn't sufficiently kiss His dad's almighty ass prior to the arbitrary (not to mention secret) deadline.
And it will suddenly begin to dawn on you, cowering there in His presence, that eternity is a long, looooong time to spend with something so powerful, petty and full of hate...
And yet again , RR and sexual innuendo go hand in...
...hand!
What? What did you think I was going to write? Sheesh, you're just as bad as them! :P
@myheadhurts & Dr. Funkenstein
Seems like steve53 only refers to the ride to heaven during rapture. Looks like he believes it will be some kind of short joyride with Jesus grabbing him and flying with him above the clouds and so on.
Doesn´t make it less insane, but at least a little bit less morbid :D
I read this truly "sad" thread; most of it was written last year, some over twelve months ago, and the imminent rapture STILL hasn't happened.
I wonder how they explain this to themselves (I know publicly they'll say "it's in god's hands)?
No. Sorry.
This is too easy.
To be polite, the basic tenets of your beliefs, and indeed, what you are deeming fun and happiness are morbid and selfish.
Now, dropping the "polite-o-phone," you adhere to a thinly veiled death cult, whose masturbatory fantasies seem to involve you fawning over Jesus in heaven, while listening to him laugh over how all the people you decided were evil, or just didn't like are frying in hell, with you peeking over the edge of the clouds to watch the show every now and then. You relish in the ultimate form of schadenfreude, and then have the audacity to call the rest of the world sick, twisted and evil.
Dear Lord God, please send me directly to Hell when I die, so I don't ever have to meet steve53, lonewolf1984, or any of the other fucktards who profess to love and adore you. In Jesus' name I pray...
The entire thread on RaptureReady is just gold, gold, gold. What sad, wasted lives these people live, mired so deeply in their fixed delusions. Oh well.
image
scary, scary avatar.
Even entertaining the unlikely premise that it would ever happen, these clowns would treat the destruction of the planet as an amusement-park ride.
Meantime in the real world, nobody pays any attention to an apocalyptic future fairy tale spawned by jewish zealots two millenia ago.
"Do it again, Jesus! Do it again! That was FUN!! Do it again, Jesus!!!!"
Please tell me you're not talking about the catastrophic end of the world and the painful death and subsequent eternal torture of millions of human beings. Please.
If it's over before you know what happened, how are you going to say it was fun and that he should do it again?
Am I the only one bothered by that little skip in his story?
Imagine, Fundies creating an attraction for amusement parks and tourist spots (like Branson) that simulates The Rapture.
"That was Fun! I want to ride it again!"
You keep up this kinda stoopid and Jeezus is going to completely change his mind and never come back for you. He's already got a cosmos to run, a dragon to slay, and an earth to cleanse in fire--you think he wants a bunch of sheltered kids clinging to his robes for a piggyback ride?
Think about it...
Staring up at the ceiling for 2,000 years. Wow! what a rush!
Hey, Big J, that was Kewl. You really set that guy's ass on fire. Come on, Jebus, you're the Boss on the Cross, the Ace Cool Dude, arise him back from the dead and smite him again for the kids. Think of the children.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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