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Quote# 42067

["Mathematical proof" of God's existance! Fasten your seatbelts!]

I believe that God created the heavens and the earth. If He really did, it should be possible to prove it mathematically. How would the theorem be written to express such an idea as the creation of the universe?

First we must define the universe in mathematical terms.

Define "c" as the percentage of the material universe created by God, "e" as the percentage of the universe which evolved by chance, "x" as the percentage of other material substance, and "1" as 100% of the whole universe containing everything that is.

We can define the material universe as c + e + x = 1

"God created the universe" can be expressed as, "c = 1".

Theorem:
Given c + e + x = 1
Then c = 1

I have calculated the values of "c" and "e" discovering that c = 1 and e = 0. Solving c + e + x = 1 for "x" results in x = 0. Substituting the values for each quantity, we have 1 + 0 + 0 = 1, a true statement. Thus c + e + x = 1 is equivalent to c = 1. Given the fact that there is a universe, mathematical calculations prove that it is the creation of God.

To prove the theorem, it is first necessary to prove that c = 1. The eye-witness testimony of God Himself concerning creation, and the proof He gave me in my own life that He is a living Creator, prove to me that he created the heavens and the earth. I thank God for this direct proof and that there is also mathematical proof that He is the Creator.

Jerry Duke, Personal web-site 40 Comments [6/30/2008 9:48:36 PM]
Fundie Index: 14
WTF?! || meh
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Canadiest

Stop making Steven Hawking laugh and cry alternatively, it's really unnerving

HAHaHaBooHooHaHooHaHaBooHoo

10/18/2009 10:25:18 AM

Canadiest

And the 'Expelled' movie actually wondered why unqualified creationist weren't getting positions in science or were fired for basic denial of established rules and proticals.

They want asshats like this guy in so science will be useless stupid process

10/18/2009 10:29:47 AM

Quantum Mechanic

Fail.

10/18/2009 10:33:02 AM

Deftera

Why the hell did you turn "god created the universe. it did not evolve" into something that took me 10 minutes to read?

10/18/2009 10:33:49 AM

,

AUGH

THE GOGGLES, THEY DO NOTHING

10/25/2009 2:27:32 PM

Dr. Gus

HAHAHA that is your proof?
Don't make me laugh!

I can do it again, see?

the probability that we exist = 1
god = c
big bang = x
evolution = e

c +x +e =1 since we have no proof whatsoever despite all the bullshit you say that there's a god, we could infer that c= 0 thus the true equation would be more like

0+x+e =1

we have proof that evolution exist so e > 0
and since there's a high probability that the big bang happened x would also be x > 0

There you go, your god is irrelevant to our existence.

10/25/2009 3:28:09 PM

feralboy12

Way to handle your high, fucker.

3/28/2010 5:04:10 PM

anti-nonsense

I'd like to see your "calculations", I bet you didn't make any, you just pulled that shit out of the hole where shit comes from.

3/28/2010 5:07:28 PM

Ewok Jack

Lord, we come before you today, and we just want to thank you that you proved yourself mathematically. Lord, we know you've shown yourself before in calculus, in algebra, and statistics...we pray that you would now work powerfully on this campus, for philosophy C-students who are really searching for you.

3/28/2010 6:27:48 PM

JohnTheAtheist

So to prove god mathematically you have to ignore math and rely on revelation?

Next!

3/28/2010 7:14:08 PM

Philbert McAdamia

> I thank God for this direct proof <

Uh, you misspelled spoof.

3/28/2010 10:22:56 PM

sErgEantaEgis

In my last school report cards I add only 40% in maths and I still can realise that this is utter bullshit.

2/9/2011 4:33:08 PM

Renon

dude, I FAILED math in high school and even I know that this is a total murder of the mathematical arts.

side note: I failed math not because I couldn't understand it, but because I didn't like it's rigidity. math allows no room for imagination or creativity. its just counter to my personality. but still. even I know this dude needs to open a fucking book.

2/9/2011 6:34:20 PM



c = the amount of bacon I ate
e = my current level of arousal
x = the number of times I've watched Scooby Doo

c+e+x=203

That mathematically proves my bedtime.

2/9/2011 7:59:07 PM

Gore

and here is someone who just went ahead and failed basic algebra for all time.

2/9/2011 10:47:20 PM
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