[Fundie can't do basic maths]
I.E.
"Oh you think you are a good person huh? I agree, you probably are a good person, and you probably only sin once or twice a day right?"
Sin is what the Bible calls imperfections they are like lying cheating stealing, looking at lust etc.
So say you only sin twice a day, (thats better than me!!) well how many days are in a week?
7
ok and how many weeks in a year?
52
ok and so thats 104 sins!!!
Do you think you are going to heaven with all those sins?
No
thats why Jesus came and died, to pay our bail,
just A=admit your guilt
B=Believe He died for you
And C=commit to recieve the gift of forgiveness
WE ARE SAVED BY FAITH ALONE!!! It's ABC simple!!!
55 comments
Well, he forgot to multiply by the 7, the dolt should have checked his post.
As far as biblical sins ie blasphemy, lust, envy and whatever else they classify, I'm way beyond 2 a day, but I don't feel guilty about it, so you and Jesus can both fuck off. Oops, there's another one.
@Joe
Me too, even my calculator does. Hm, friggin' technology can ne'er get 'nything right!
I think I'm well above twice a day myself as well. And I'm sure waking up with a morning stiffy classifies as a sin, and that the following lustful thoughts and advances towards the woman next to me also goes high up on the sin-O-meter. Well, I think I'll just round up to an even 50 times a day. Hell, I must be fucked for all eternity. Too late to do anything about that now I guess, so just pass on the booze, the drugs and the hookers.
Oh, I just had another sinful thought about the cute little temp that's in the office next to mine during summer. Oh hell!
In addition I find it both strange and amusing that no-one on the forum in question found brains enough to spot his obviously erroneous math.
By this logic...
Jesus died for "all" our sins.
Therefore the more we sin, the more efficient his death. I mean, dying for a sin rate of two a day is bullshit! We could sin atleast 10 times as much without even leaving our chairs...
All hail Hanuman! (see its that easy!)
Wait, you used bad math to make something "ABC simple?" Does not compute...
@ FMG
I've always thought that! Where's my hubby. Time to make Jesus' sacrifice worthwhile! :D
@FMG
the more we sin, the more efficient his death.
I'm doin' MY part, right now!
*runs another batch for jezuz*
Buuuut if you don't believe in Jesus, God, or any other deity, sinning is meaningless (A sin is a crime against God). All we atheists have to worry about are crimes against mortals.
Phail at math
Phail at spelling
Phail at grammar
F. See me.
Me too, even my calculator does. Hm, friggin' technology can ne'er get 'nything right!
It was built by scientists who believe in evolution. What do you expect? [/fundie]
I wonder, is looking at FSTDT just one sin, or do I also sin each time I blaspheme god in a comment/look at another quote? Is it another sin each time I read someone else's quote that I mentally agree with?
Damn, Christian sin math is hard.
thats why Jesus came and died, to pay our bail
Yeah, it's like if you're arrested for littering. So the judge says well, you should owe a hundred bucks for this; but I'm gonna let you off the hook and let you litter all you want for the rest of your life by giving you this nail gun and letting you kill me slowly by nailing me up on this wall. But there's a catch: you have to worship me as the GREAT JUDGE for the rest of your life.
Ya know what, fuckface, if your god was real, and if I really bothered, then yes, I would expect to go to heaven with 104 sins a year. Because being human means to make mistakes, and if your deity doesn't know that or take that into consideration, then fuck him, and fuck everyone who's associated with him. Clear enough?
A: I am guilty according to arbitrary criteria that are impossible to live up to (and that are also misinterpretations of relatively strict, and difficult to violate, moral laws).
B: I do not. Even if Jesus actually existed, and thought that he was dying for us, it doesn't make it true that he did so to any avail.
C: No.
It's a good thing that you are saved by faith alone, because if there were actual requirements, very few people in your flock would bother going to church.
"It's ABC simple!!!"
Just not 123 simple.
Depends on how grady defines sin. I don't think he's really thought about it. Or about anything, for that matter.
My sins are my own and no else's business. I don't need a fantasy figure to forgive me, I need to forgive myself. I haven't done that yet.
"thats why Jesus came and died, to pay our bail,
just A=admit your guilt
B=Believe He died for you
And C=commit to recieve the gift of forgiveness
WE ARE SAVED BY FAITH ALONE!!! It's ABC simple!!!"
This is what I truly hate - it comes out of the preacher's mouth, into the fundie's ears, then out of THEIR mouths as they parrot it.
Okay, if that's all it takes...
A) I hereby admit my guilt for everything I have ever done wrong, or will ever do wrong.
B) Okay, he died for me, if you say so. I will accept it on faith alone.
C) Forgiveness now received for everything I will ever do, or ever have done.
Okay, that's over with. Who wants a beer?
1. Pride - Lucifer
2. Anger - Satan
3. Gluttony - Beezlebub
4. Envy - Leviathan
5. Sloth - Belphegor
6. Avarice - Mammon
7. Lust - Asmodeus
Are those the sins he it talking about?
1. No God's before me
2. Don't take my name in vain
3. Sabbath is Holy
4. Honor parents
5. Don't murder
6. Don't commit adultery
7. Don't steal
8. Don't lie
9. Don't desire your neighbors things (covet house)
10. Don't desire your neighbors wife (covet wife)
Is it breaking these commandments he considers a sin?
These guys really have to be specific.
He lists a few sins, but, "cheating" isn't a sin, unless you throw it in with lying. If that's true though, why did he list lying on it's own? Sounds like grady11 doesn't know his own sins either.
So, who knows what he's really talking about. Just another fantastic fundie failure at figuring out their own babble.
"thats why Jesus came and died, to pay our bail,"
So I'm not going to hell no matter what I do?
Don't go by weeks.
The calendar is set up in such a way that there is an additional day left over every year. With a population of 6.8 billion people committing a minimum of two sins per day, Heaven's accountants would be short by no less than 13.6 billion sins every year. Too many sinners would go to Heaven because of the error, and the whole place would eventually be militarized because hardcore fundies can't tolerate people who work on Sunday or some shit.
Plus, if you went by days, you probably would have caught the fact that 365 x 2 != 104.
Lying? Nope.
Cheating? Nope.
Stealing? Nope.
Looking at a womenwith lust, who is not my wife? Nope... though I do look at my wife with lust, but Jesus said that's not a sin. (funny how fundies like to forget that last part, isn't it?)
Got any others? I bet I've not done them.
So, I have no sins... Guess I get a free pass to heaven and Jesus didn't need to pay my bail after all. So, Fuck You Grady11...
"Do you think you are going to heaven with all those sins?
No
thats why Jesus came and died, to pay our bail,
just A=admit your guilt
B=Believe He died for you
And C=commit to recieve the gift of forgiveness
WE ARE SAVED BY FAITH ALONE!!! It's ABC simple!!!"
That's your problem right there! That's what makes Christianity my most hated aspect of life in general. No, no! Actions don't matter crap, only beliefs. Seems really moral don't you think?
As everyone has pointed out, you math is incorrect.
Being saved by faith alone is not ABC simple no matter how many exclamation points one uses. As soon as you pick out your favorite Bible verse supporting the faith alone contantion, please read the Book of James.
There are parts of the Bible which say one is saved by: faith
works
faith & works
grace
God's whim
or predestination.
No matter which path one picks there are passages claiming that you're on the wrong path.
"looking at lust?"
I know you people go batshit over the thought over anything gay, but I can't look at a woman, either, as I was "hard-wired" to do? You just can't win!
I find it amusing the firm belief these guys hold that Christianity automatically makes you good, when by their own admission, it's wholly optional, since you could be a goddamn baby eater, and so long as you shout "PRAISE JESUS" between bites, you're cool.
I try to visit FSTDT every day.
I blaspheme God like 5 times in an average day.
35 times a week.
~1750 times per year.
"WE ARE SAVED BY FAITH ALONE!!! It's ABC simple!!!"
A = Atheism - Believe in no supernatural entities
B = BITCH SIMPLICITY DOES NOT MAKE YOU RIGHT
C = Carry on.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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