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Quote# 44031

How many times have you picked up your cell phone to call the police to report the murder of a pre-born and wound up on some sex line because secular cell phone companies care more about promoting filth than giving you good, smut-free service? How many times have you got a text message asking if you’d like to perform some lewd and indecent act? If you’re as tired of it as I am, then there’s real good news – introducing The American Center for Law and Justice cell phone service company! That’s right, Jay Sekulow’s ACLJ is now offering Christian cell phone service at competitive rates AND when you subscribe, you’re helping to stop homos, Satanists, lie-berals, pedophiles and other members of the Democrat party from gaining a further foothold in the United States of America because part of the price goes to fund the American Center for Law And Justice. So if you’re tired of getting your cell phone calls routed by Satan, then get on over to www.ACLJwireless.com and you’ll never have to talk to a homo again!

Shelley Goodman, STR † THE FREEDOM BLOG 59 Comments [8/1/2008 9:17:27 PM]
Fundie Index: 10
Submitted By: Lola
WTF?! || meh
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Smith

But since I switched to Satan I haven't had a single dropped call.

8/1/2008 9:19:53 PM



This totally reeks of satire to me...

8/1/2008 9:22:04 PM

1less

voluntarily wiretapped

8/1/2008 9:23:46 PM

Full Metal Geneticist

Look, I only got those messages when I was going out with someone... Who the hell gets random ones?

Besides Satan gives free minutes...

8/1/2008 9:23:58 PM

Papabear

Uh, I don't think this is serious.

8/1/2008 9:24:49 PM

Smith

It's not serious, but it's satire by a fundie.

8/1/2008 9:25:50 PM

cheese007

STR is a troll. 1 star.

8/1/2008 9:26:27 PM

IanC

Fundies are cute when they try satire.

8/1/2008 9:26:55 PM

Jay-Sus

But if I switch to Satan mobile I get free minutes, unlimited roaming time and no dropped calls. And what's this shit about murder of a pre-born?

8/1/2008 9:31:42 PM

Doctor Whom

Well known parody blog.

8/1/2008 9:33:39 PM

dpareja

I'm pretty sure this is a Poe, even if it's a fundie pretending to be even more fundie.

8/1/2008 9:34:18 PM

anevilmeme

Poe

8/1/2008 9:34:52 PM



I've often suspected the verizon guy was in league with lucifer.

8/1/2008 9:36:39 PM

Malkavian Jeff

Christian phones, the one's that are programed to zap you if you say anything immoral!

8/1/2008 9:37:07 PM

Wait. What?

STR is poe. Rather extreme and offensive parody. But not fundie.

8/1/2008 9:45:16 PM

nfp

lulz, as they say.

8/1/2008 9:50:36 PM

F

So much Poe here that it's stuffed with raven feathers.

8/1/2008 9:58:17 PM

stoat100

I can't be bothered to read the words, but the overall tone is that of a William S Burroughs 'routine'. Which is kind of ironic.

8/1/2008 10:09:52 PM

Amanda

"...and you’ll never have to talk to a homo again!"
At least as far as you know...;-)

8/1/2008 10:11:56 PM

aaa

Satire. Very good stuff.

8/1/2008 10:12:09 PM

David B.

Satan offered good coverage and a decent call-plan, but he just wasn't evil enough for me. So I switched to Verizon.

8/1/2008 10:18:17 PM

Philbert McAdamia

How many times have you tried to call 911 to drop a dime on some heathen atheist libruls and some 900 number comes up again instead - just because it somehow got on your Fives, and might have been called once before? By mistake. And that bitch Madame LaZonga nails you for another couple hun before you can get back to bidness.

____________________________________
Fundy humor? Shelley Goodman/Shelley Berman ?

8/1/2008 10:42:19 PM

Alcari

Say, god...
Can you hear me now?

8/1/2008 10:42:56 PM

WMDKitty

Strangely enough, I've never had that problem even once in the years I've had "secular" cell service...

8/1/2008 11:18:01 PM

WhyDontYou.Org.UK

"How many times have you picked up your cell phone to call the police to report the murder of a pre-born and wound up on some sex line because secular cell phone companies care more about promoting filth than giving you good, smut-free service?"

Erm, never.

I smell satire here.

8/1/2008 11:21:28 PM
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