Quote# 44046

Just remember, on September 29th, at sundown, you may actually hear some trumpets and some shouts, as more and more people are signing on to join the Feast of Trumpets celebration, by going outside at sundown, blowing whatever you have that comes close to a shofar and shouting to the Lord. It is going to be our way of saying 'Come, Lord Jesus, we are ready'. If you don't have any kind of horn to blow, you could maybe record the sound of a shofar and play that! My neighbors, which aren't many, will probably think I have finally flipped my wig, so to speak, but hey, do I care? Nope

IamHis, RaptureReady 53 Comments [8/2/2008 3:38:08 PM]
Fundie Index: 3
Submitted By: FundieFinder

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Oh. I thought you were supposed to blow the chauffeur. Wow. I'm glad he cleared that up before I really embarrassed myself!

8/2/2008 3:41:49 PM

Quantum Mechanic

Sep 29?
I'll mark my calendar.
Which year?

8/2/2008 3:42:40 PM


They will, and you have.

8/2/2008 3:45:33 PM


Uh-huh. I'll just sit back and not give a shit.

8/2/2008 3:47:45 PM


So, this is the 2008th time ya'll have tried this, right? Seems like you'd be getting tired of being wrong.

8/2/2008 3:49:11 PM

Paschal Wagner

Just think, if enough people play Black Sabbath instead, maybe Satan will come?

8/2/2008 3:50:51 PM

stronger now

Hey, I got something for you to blow.

8/2/2008 3:52:10 PM

The Lazy One

I am going to sound really stupid, but what the heck is a shofar?

8/2/2008 3:54:17 PM


I think your neighbours have been thinking that for a while now.

John: Wahahahahahahaha!

8/2/2008 3:59:20 PM


9 weeks to their next big disappointment

8/2/2008 4:02:12 PM


@ The Lazy One: A shofar is the ram's keratinous horn, used as a trumpet in some Jewish holidays.
I will refrain from making any jests about the term "Come, Lord Jesus".

8/2/2008 4:05:17 PM


If you don't have any kind of horn to blow, you could maybe record the sound of a shofar and play that!

How do you record the sound of an instrument you don't have?

8/2/2008 4:06:30 PM

i am smrt

Is it just me or can anyone else see potential sexjokes in there?

8/2/2008 4:07:19 PM


Damn, all the oral sex jokes are taken.

Will a harmonica work?

8/2/2008 4:09:03 PM

I don't have a horn to blow, but I have a gay lover. Will that work?

8/2/2008 4:13:48 PM


I have a skin flute some of you could use (provided you're female) and don't mind being called "Lord Jesus" while you're doing it. Whatever gets you into the "spirit" of the thing.

8/2/2008 4:16:23 PM


If I play Black Sabbath backwards at 78 speed on the 29th, will I see God?

8/2/2008 4:20:03 PM

Cap'n Mel

And on September 30th, you'll be back on Rupture Ready, bitching about how nothing happened.

8/2/2008 4:26:14 PM


There you go, try and force God to do his business on your time.

8/2/2008 4:36:20 PM


If you're driving on the NJ Turnpike, you could blow your car horn, but the guy in front of you will just give you the finger. There's not a lot of Christian love on the NJTP.

8/2/2008 4:36:29 PM

Dr. Quasius

On September 29, at sunset, I will go outside and listen. I predict that I will hear nothing out of the ordinary. I will say to myself, "The Rapture Ready death-cult is short on members" and then go back inside.

8/2/2008 4:41:10 PM

Doctor Fishcake

"My neighbors, which aren't many, will probably think I have finally flipped my wig"

I'm sure they already think that.

8/2/2008 4:43:25 PM


My neighbors, which aren't many...
I wonder why.

8/2/2008 5:02:16 PM


*peals of uproarious laughter*

"We're going to make an unholy racket till Jesus comes back. It might be awhile. Just keep on with the circular breathing."

8/2/2008 5:26:59 PM


Remind me to record some farts for the occasion.

8/2/2008 5:28:13 PM

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