Quote# 4456

Honestly the first thought that came into my mind is that I have to be raptured with clothes on if it looks like this. I hope the good Lord surrounds us with a 'mist' of sorts to blur out our details if we are raptured without clothes as some have suggested will happen.

Jade, Rapture Ready 23 Comments [10/1/2003 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5

Username  (Login)
Comment  (Text formatting help) 

1 | bottom


This one gave my my snorting laugh of the day.

9/27/2007 12:03:58 PM


An alcohol mist, by any chance?

9/27/2007 12:46:10 PM


on rapturing surely you're cleansed of all sin, and "urges", so it doesn't matter does it

9/27/2007 12:50:07 PM


Oh no! Not the human body! THE HORROR!

Seriously, isn't it supposed to be a return to innocence or some bullshit like that? Naked like a baby?

9/27/2007 1:23:35 PM


I'll take your bodies up, but not your eyeballs. The clothes and severed eyeballs will be left behind. It might sting a little, but you won't see nudity.

9/27/2007 1:30:42 PM


How do you people do the toilet or take a shower? Hmm...

9/27/2007 1:38:58 PM


pssst ... guess what you were wearing when you were born?

9/27/2007 1:41:48 PM


Swing and a mist

9/27/2007 1:48:42 PM

They call me V

I wish I could merely raise my eyebrow at this, but it doesn't get high enough to do the sheer WTFness justice. So... yeah... seeing a naked body is bad, even if it is in the process of ascending to the awesomeness that is rapture... I don't get this :P

10/26/2007 9:15:22 AM

Caustic Gnostic

Didn't you know? You can have the ectoplasmic body of your choice at that point.

Because your physical body will be dead.

Silly fundy, no one will ever convince you that the real universe does not support magic of that type.

10/26/2007 9:26:17 AM

Giga Guess

Uhmmmm...I'm pretty sure it's nothing he hasn't seen before, babe.

10/26/2007 9:42:00 AM

David B.

No, Jade, you see it's all part of God's great plan.

You all get raptured into the presence of God and Jesus with nothing on, and anyone who looks around and gets turned on goes straight back down into the tribulation.

Only people who couldn't get turned on by a jell-o wrestling marathon at the Playboy mansion or by stage diving onto the up-thrust tongues of 1000 Orlando Bloom clones (depending on your preferences) make it into heaven.

10/26/2007 10:00:11 AM


Prude of the Year award

10/26/2007 10:30:03 AM


What's the ugliest
Part of your body?
What's the ugliest
Part of your body?
Some say your nose
Some say your toes
But I think it's YOUR MIND

10/26/2007 10:41:40 AM


A haze, if you will. A purple haze.

12/18/2007 3:02:18 PM

Philbert McAdamia

Jade, you are correct. Man made earthly garments will not arise with you. In fact most of our clothing is made by those godless brown heathens enslaved (as they should be) in far foreign lands, and Saint Pete won't allow in anything defiled by their grubby little fingers {shudder}. Other than an occasional cloud cover you will see all and know all. Hahaha. No secrets in Heaven.

Fortunately, I have a precious few of the necessary Blessed Ascension Robes left behind by the Millerites when they gave up on the False Rapture back in the day. Uh . . . they can be obtained for a small fee . . . get 'em before I have to put them up on eBay with my Jesus tortilla and Virgin Mary cheese sandwich.

12/18/2007 3:44:48 PM

Frivolities apart, he created you with those "details", so he may be well versed on that.

3/3/2010 8:01:45 AM

Dr. Shrinker

Honestly, the first thought that came to my mind was, "How can people believe this $#!?"

3/3/2010 8:58:00 AM


"I hope the good Lord surrounds us with a 'mist' of sorts"

That 'mist' is your delusional 'belief' that you're gonna get sucked off by your J-man. When the clock strikes 12 midnight tonight, and it hasn't happened, and you have to suffer another 24 hours of waiting for said 'whooshfest', just consider this:

Every day the (C)Rapture hasn't happened, is one more day we Atheists are proved right.


"A haze, if you will. A purple haze."

'Purple haze all in my brain
Lately things just don't seem the same
Actin' funny, but I don't know why
'Scuse me, while I kiss this guy!'


Which of course is the basis of the misheard lyrics site:


Mondegreens FTW! As is the God of the Fender Stratocaster Jimi Hendrix.

3/3/2010 9:26:22 AM


Okay, I don't believe in the Rapture, but let's say it s going to happen.

It would presumably be one of the three greatest events in Christian history -- you've got the Nativity, you've got the Resurrection, and you've got the Second Coming/Rapture.

You're going to be a part of one of those events. You're going to meet Jesus in the air and go to Heaven for eternity... and you're worried that people's naughty bits are going to be on display?

For Heaven's sake, get a sense of priorities. I mean, that would be a little like my friends who won $40 million or so in the lottery saying, "gosh, we don't have anything to wear to go to the lottery office to claim our prize!"

3/3/2010 9:49:08 AM

Quantum Mechanic

You have yet to think a thought.

7/21/2012 3:11:09 AM


If god created you then he knows exactly what you look like in the nude. I'm sure he still has the plans somewhere.

7/21/2012 4:38:30 AM

Philbert McAdamia

What about "in His image", and all that?

7/21/2012 5:03:30 AM

1 | top: comments page