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Quote# 45531

"Really, what do scientists have that Heartland Americans don’t? They have a fancy-pants degree that was approved by someone else with a fancy-pants degree, and the chain typically ends with a crooked politician that wants to advance his own heinous agenda. Scientists try to justify assault on religion by telling us that our grandparents were monkeys, our great-grandparents were clams, and our great-great grandparents were parameciums. It’s much easier to convince hard-working people to fund food stamps if they’re convinced that their ancestors were pond scum. It’s much easier for Stalin to murder his opponents if the population is convinced that we are drawn to a stupid ball of fire. It’s much easier for Democrats to justify murder of the unborn and Jews if the public is convinced of the relative concept of a ‘curvature of space’. It’s much easier for felons to avoid the death penalty if you convince the legal system that the world is a sphere."

Ixion/Bob Corker, Calvinists 4 Conservatism 68 Comments [8/20/2008 9:57:13 PM]
Fundie Index: 16
WTF?! || meh
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#643284
Jay-Sus

1. How the Hell are our grandparents monkies?
2. Evolution doesn't work that way.
3. If you think Stalin was bad try running for office in South America. The local militia will fucking murder you.
4. How can you convince someone the Earth is a sphere when it's common knowledge?
5. Die in a fire.

8/20/2008 10:01:03 PM

#643286
t3h_fuhr3r

First half: I'd like to see a bunch of "Heartland Americans" (Read: Hicks and rednecks) construct a microchip, launch a functioning deep space probe, find cures to diseases...
Second half: Non sequitar for Jesus award!

8/20/2008 10:02:27 PM

#643295
wow fundies

"It’s much easier for felons to avoid the death penalty if you convince the legal system that the world is a sphere."

Wait...what?

8/20/2008 10:05:30 PM

#643296
Happymealungen

Poe, the last sentence seals it.

8/20/2008 10:05:31 PM

#643303
watchdog

WTF is this idiot yapping about?

8/20/2008 10:06:57 PM

#643307
MK

I was going to confer "Lord of the Rings-Scale Epic Failure" on this, until that last line and all I could think was POE.

8/20/2008 10:09:35 PM

#643325
GigaGuess

It’s much easier to convince hard-working people to fund food stamps if they’re convinced that their ancestors were pond scum.

Whaaaaat?

8/20/2008 10:17:30 PM

#643327
Ephraim the Retarded Rabbit

I think this is a poe. At least, I hope this is a poe.

8/20/2008 10:19:52 PM

#643343
anonymous_troy

No, that's all clearly bullshit.

Scientific facts don't change how justice works or does not work.

8/20/2008 10:28:19 PM

#643368
Falconer

This better not be my Bob Corker (R-Tennessee).

Get back in the Senate, Bob! Don't think we don't remember what you did to Harold Ford! You wanted the job that badly, you get to work it!

EDIT: Howcum now all felons have to worry about the death penalty? "I stole a big-screen Hi-Def TeeVee to watch my stories on! They gonna hang me if they catch me!"

8/20/2008 10:40:35 PM

#643393
Doctor Whom

Well known satire site.

8/20/2008 10:47:54 PM

#643404
nfp

You give away your Poe nature at the end. Up to that point, good job.

8/20/2008 10:50:33 PM

#643420
Dark_Lord_Prime

"It’s much easier for Democrats to justify murder of the unborn and Jews"

Wait, what?? o.O

8/20/2008 10:55:02 PM

#643431
Old Viking

It's much easier to pick your nose if you have your nostrils enlarged.

8/20/2008 10:58:09 PM

#643466
kingoftheheavies

If this isn't a POE, it is, by far, the most fucked-up individual yet. That last couple sentences is unbelievable ignorance.

8/20/2008 11:10:21 PM

#643509
Mrs. Antichrist

You know, I'm pretty sure that every scientist would tell you that your grandparents, great grandparents, and great-great grandparents were all humans.

Now, your evolutionary ancestors, on the other hand...

8/20/2008 11:20:09 PM

#643518
Allegory for Jesus

Anti-intellectualism at its finest.

Edit: "It’s much easier for felons to avoid the death penalty if you convince the legal system that the world is a sphere "

Yeah...Poe.

8/20/2008 11:21:11 PM

#643624
Mr Doubt(hell)fire

Ah. Ixion is considered to be the most wicked human that ever existed in Greek mythology.

This proves the Poe, but it is one that can really fool people, in particular since he intentionally tries NOT to be funny at times.

8/21/2008 12:04:00 AM

#643666
Mister Spak

This has to be a joke.

8/21/2008 12:18:59 AM

#643709


wtf does "convincing the legal system the earth is a sphere" have to do with no death penalty? what the FUCK are you talking about?



i think you are either a troll, or youre just too fucking stupid to understand any of this so you pretend its the data thats wrong and not your idiocy





i fell for it hook line and sinker, lol



8/21/2008 12:45:24 AM

#643728
DaMentalFunism

Poe Meh. Poes aren't funny.

8/21/2008 1:00:40 AM

#643775
anevilmeme

"Really, what do scientists have that Heartland Americans don't?"

An education, research, field work, understanding of the scientific method and incredulity.



8/21/2008 1:41:26 AM

#643784
Brian-sama

Corker's been around for a long time. He's prolific, but likely a Poe (just like the sites he frequents).

8/21/2008 1:46:42 AM

#643815
Moondog

Can someone tell me please how this stupid idea of "Heartland" came about? We're supposed to think that "typically American" is a wood-frame single family house with a white picket fence around it in rural, small-town America when in reality most of us live in large cities and your "Heartland" counties are the fastest-shrinking counties in the country, with the possible exception of some Rust Belt cities. Your kids are up and leaving for the cities 'cause there no opportunity in the Heartland.

8/21/2008 2:21:41 AM

#643824
Eden

Fancy pants degrees?
You mean such things like the degrees that people like Kent Horvind get from christian diploma mills? ;)

8/21/2008 2:31:13 AM
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