Quote# 46111

If I remember right, our place to stay is going to decend from heaven and kinda orbit the earth during the millenium. Maybe someone could back me up on that? I don't remember the place I read it, Revelation I think.

I was thinking about the rapture this morning. See, my tub doesn't drain that slowly. If I get raptured in the middle of taking a shower, there's going to be some major water damage to my house. Not that I would care, but I thought it was funny. I'll be too busy to care about the things I had back here.

fracturedInfinity, RaptureReady 33 Comments [8/29/2008 11:26:40 AM]
Fundie Index: 7
Submitted By: Tom S. Fox

Username  (Login)
Comment  (Text formatting help) 

1 2 | bottom

Mister Spak

If I remember right, our place to stay is going to decend from heaven and kinda orbit the earth

I don't remember the place I read it, Revelation I think. "

No, it was in Deep Space Nine.

8/29/2008 11:37:27 AM


I'm sure pre/post/whatever-millennialists can actually spell 'millennium', so they are clearly referring to The Milennium Project:


Taster: 'She also blessed a duck, but nobody seems to know why.'

8/29/2008 11:38:01 AM


Do you think god has perfected artifical gravity? If not seven years in orbit is going to cause major calcium loss and limb atrophy.

8/29/2008 11:44:48 AM


Close encounters of the third kind awaited, but still attached very much to material things.

8/29/2008 12:01:30 PM


Um..., busy with what? Doing kinky things with your god?

8/29/2008 12:08:18 PM


I love that sense of responsibility! If there are fatal car pileups and floods of wasted water because of the rapture, why, it will all just hammer home the point a little harder to people who are "left behind"!

8/29/2008 12:13:26 PM


Way to know your buy-bull, asshat. It doesn't matter though, because that shit isn't going to happen.

8/29/2008 12:14:38 PM

Dick Handsome

Just fucking kill yourself, so no one has to deal with your water damage.

8/29/2008 1:02:57 PM



8/29/2008 1:08:06 PM


Well, if it's batshit crazy, odds are you'll find it in Revelations.

8/29/2008 1:09:57 PM


You wouldn't care about the people who would live there after you or the person who would have to clean that up?
You bastard.

8/29/2008 1:21:36 PM

Drano, dumbfuck.

8/29/2008 2:01:20 PM

El Guapo

Life is always like that...the rapture never happens until you're in the shower.

The Lord has such an impish sense of humour (IMHO).

8/29/2008 2:01:50 PM

Paschal Wagner

I'm worried that when Santa comes down the chimney he'll drag soot all over my floor. What do I do?

8/29/2008 2:55:19 PM


I think I'm going to start marketing dildos in the shape Jesus, for the religious perverts, a special version with Jesus on cross and with a crown of thorns. That should get their juices flowing...

8/29/2008 3:15:28 PM

Princess Rot

I don't get how you could look forward to being a butt-naked satellite, personally.

8/29/2008 3:36:02 PM


"I don't remember the place I read it, Revelation I think."
Nope. You will not find the phrase "orbit the earth" anywhere in the bible.

And maybe you should take care of that hair clog in your bath tub drain. Or pray to jesus to stick his holy fingers down there and do it for you. While he's at it, he might even do your dishes for you. You never know.

8/29/2008 5:36:09 PM


Too damn bad only 140 000 people are gonna be in Jesus' space station.

Yeah, you're gonna be pissed when it turns out the JWs were right all along, huh!?

8/29/2008 5:47:26 PM


You can get Raptured nekkid? Hopefully Jesus will have some really nice robes for everyone. Cottony, maybe nicely embroidered. That would be nice.

8/29/2008 7:55:45 PM

Philbert McAdamia

Maybe if you ask him nice Jeebus will have a plumber check out the drainage in your new mansion in heaven. If plumbers go to heaven. You will be able to tell them apart by the gown being short in the back.

@ Headache
... dildos in the shape Jesus, ... with a crown of thorns.

Uh . . . a jewish tickler? heh heh

8/29/2008 8:07:21 PM

Old Viking

Ah, to go through each day with little squeaking noises like this in your head.

8/29/2008 8:23:16 PM

Reverend Jeremiah

Of all the fucked up things that could happen during your "rapture".. you can only think of your plumbing?

8/29/2008 8:30:13 PM


"I don't remember the place I read it, Revelation I think."

You misspelled "Tim LaHaye."
Hope this helps.

8/29/2008 8:42:32 PM


Because you'll be too busy sucking jesus' cock. At least that seems to be what you people believe at RR.

8/29/2008 9:54:01 PM


What if you're having a shit, and you get raptured? Does half the turd get raptured with you?

8/29/2008 10:01:29 PM

1 2 | top: comments page