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Quote# 46257

[next to a picture of a little girl trick-or-treating]

What would Jesus drop into her pumpkin?

Would Jesus run off to church or hide back in the TV room with the front lights off?...

Or would He use this golden opportunity to share His love with her?

Jack Chick, Chick Publications 50 Comments [8/31/2008 6:54:31 PM]
Fundie Index: 11
WTF?! || meh
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#706999
Tom S. Fox

*bumps this quote out of oblivion*

10/3/2008 6:36:37 PM
#707002
Grigadil

He'd probably give some blood and body parts. I don't think they'd be very fresh though.

10/3/2008 6:43:04 PM
#707050
Harry

Give the kid a Milky way, you asshole.

10/3/2008 7:09:52 PM
#707057
Carbonated Margarine

What would Jesus drop into her pumpkin?

Eeeew!

Or would He use this golden opportunity to share His love with her?

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

10/3/2008 7:16:37 PM
#707063
3chordwonder

oh yes...I'm sure he'd "share his love with her"

...especially if she was a cutie !

10/3/2008 7:18:24 PM
#707080
Elphada

the pix was kind of, well, I thought of pedophiles. I also read the comic First Bite where a woman converts a vampire. Right. The Chosen One is called 'Igor.' What's disturbing is that people truly believe his garbage. Igor. LMAO!

10/3/2008 7:34:26 PM
#707108
GigaGuess

Or...maybe...he'd have some fun.

10/3/2008 7:52:29 PM
#707114
Navelgazer

Eeeew...sounds creepy.

10/3/2008 7:58:23 PM
#707268


Maybe Jesus would just mind his own business or wish her a "Happy Halloween." You could try that.

10/3/2008 10:48:54 PM
#707322
aaa

No comment.

10/3/2008 11:17:16 PM
#710916
Professor Cold Heart

What's that girl dressed as anyway? I think she's some kind of cheerleader, unless that pompom-like thing is actually spaghetti. Bride of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

10/7/2008 6:51:36 PM
#710957
myheadhurts

Halloween is pagan. Jesus would dump her candy on the sidewalk and tell her she was going to hell.

10/7/2008 7:28:01 PM
#711330
Alethe

@ myheadhurts:

Actually, it's a Christian tradition (!!!). Halloween was originally called All Hallow's Eve; just before the Feast of All Saints is the last time evil spirits can freely roam the Earth before being pushed back to Hell by the combined power of all saints.

Watch Disney's Fantasia again: right after Mussorgsky's Night on Bald Mountain, where the Devil minion's revelry is cut short at the first stroke of midnight by a church bell, comes Schubert's Ave Maria...

No, I don't expect Fundies to understand this.

Besides, horrible monsters from the pits of Hell have also benefited from our civilizing influence: at first, they forcefully snatched our souls, but now, they kindly ask for candy.

10/7/2008 11:04:48 PM
#711370
Elia

Puh-lease ya loser, Jesus would come to the door dressed as Merlin from "The Sword and the Stone," drop some candy into her pumpkin, and tell her to have fun the rest of the night and be careful.

10/7/2008 11:39:48 PM
#711455
Tired Christian

This is quite as bad as it seems...but damn is that a poor choice of words.

@Alethe: All Hallow's eve, heh. That reminds me of all hallows Steve (best legomation eva)

10/8/2008 1:04:05 AM
#711873
El Guapo

What would Jesus do, indeed?

10/8/2008 2:37:29 PM
#712565


Probably not Chick tracts. Those things are awful.

10/9/2008 5:55:27 AM
#712596
Kris Kringle

This gives me a new exclamation..."Jumping Jesus in a pumpkin!!"


10/9/2008 6:23:01 AM
#712615
zazugrey

WWJDIHP?

Nah, doesn't have the same ring to it.

10/9/2008 6:35:12 AM
#781756
MBeohm

LOL Christ-Rape

11/24/2008 10:34:00 PM
#1000960
katie5000

Wow, way to make Jesus sound like a freaking pedophile.

8/4/2009 8:50:14 PM
#1000968
EvoPagan

Jesus would probably heal that leukemia she's about to get diagnosed with next week...Im just sayin...Jesus probably sees the big picture, being an omniscient deity and all.

8/4/2009 9:33:22 PM
#1030151
Pedobear

yes, christ is a loli lover

10/1/2009 10:53:58 AM
#1030315
BurntBush

I thnk Jesus would rather have a little boy.

10/1/2009 3:28:58 PM
#1030375


How come the term "pumpkin" seems so metaphorical? D:

10/1/2009 4:37:34 PM
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