Believe it or not, this is a true story but I feel I should warn the reader before reading this story. This is a story concerning witchcraft and my battle against a high priestess of Ashtoreth, her coven and the men she dominated. She was the second most powerful in the nation and was in training to become high priestess of the world. At the time the worldwide high priestess was in India but she was getting old. With the established paganism in India, a new high priestess was wanted in the USA to help the rapid spread of paganism in this country. Part of the test for becoming the high priestess required her to build her own power base instead of taking over an existing one.
59 comments
And only a brave band of misfit heroes - a half-orc barbarian/cleric, a dwarf fighter, a half-elf bard, and an elf wizard - can put a stop to this evil once and for all.
You mean...Astaroth...?
I'm not quite as insane as Jack Chick or demonologists, but I'm pretty sure they say he's a dude.
Meh. Either way, you can use your average Fundie rating of 5 to go into a Limit Break and pull theories out of your ass to bludgeon your opponents to death with!
Shano: God damn. And I thought I was a nerd.
" true story....concerning witchcraft and my battle against a high priestess of Ashtoreth"
Dungeons and Dragons =/= reality. I know this, but fundies of all stripes seem to be unaware of this very simple and handy rule. Use it. Everyday. Or go back to the 1980's/mental ward immediately.
@Shano: The "You're Batshit Insane" weapon enchantment must count as if it were two keen enchantments that can stack with one another (doubling the threat range on the sword twice, making it so that it is 13-19)...and then increase the threat range by another one point for some reason. But it only has that property against lolcats and/or complete nutcases for all we know, so it is less game-breaking then it sounds...
"This is a fantasy story but I feel I should warn the reader before reading this story. This is a story concerning witchcraft and my battle against a high priestess of Ashtoreth, her coven and the men she dominated. She was the second most powerful in the nation and was in training to become high priestess of the world. At the time the worldwide high priestess was in India but she was getting old. With the established paganism in India, a new high priestess was wanted in the USA to help the rapid spread of paganism in this country. Part of the test for becoming the high priestess required her to build her own power base instead of taking over an existing one."
Fixed.
Also the "previous post" on myspace apears to show chapter 32 of the book, where our friend Adam has a witch battle with some chick, where uses the power of the holy sprit to send her witch curses back at her seven fold. He then gets up in front of a large crowd at a party and announces that this girl is a witch, and misenterprets the laughter he gets as a responce, as hatred of the witch.
Ashtoreth...that sounds like that evil Demon Sultan from H.P. Lovecraft's writings. A bit too like it, in fact.
I think this person just broke my Bullshit Meter.
...
My precious IQ!!
Aaaaargghhh!!
Strangely enough, I actually know of an Ashtoreth. Or used to know of an Ashtoreth. They were an artist back in the late 90's. Yes, furry. Sort of spawned some kind of weird clique.
But, Ashtoreth IS an acceptable name for an ancient pagan fertility goddess (Among others, Asherah, Astarte, plus those not related in sound, like Ishtar.)
This is a story concerning witchcraft and my battle against a high priestess of Ashtoreth, her coven and the men she dominated. She was the second most powerful in the nation and was in training to become high priestess of the world.
Stop right there. Pagan covens are not interrelated so by default there can be no "High Priestess of the World" asshole.
Go back to your role playing and stop yappin' about religions you know dick about.
This reminds me of the time the Queen of the Underpants Gnomes tried to ensnare me with socks dipped in a love potion so that I would join her army of pointy-hat wearing zombies. When I resisted her philtre-enhanced charms she set her atomic-wedgie trolls onto me and if I hadn't been wearing Calvin Klein comfort-fit boxers I swear I'd have never escaped!
Man, those were some freaky mushrooms!
"this is a true story"
bullshit
No, you've got your conspiracy theories wrong.
It's the FREEMASONS and the CATHOLICS who introduced paganism to America, to destroy the God-fearing slave-owning White Protestant Christian American civilization.
Duh.
Yeah, yeah. When's the online beta start? that's all I want to know.
PS How exactly does one train to become High Priestess of World?
PPS If paganism was rapidly spreading in the country why would it need help?
The whole introduction is a joke. He says that, while he stands for monogamy and no sex outside marriage, whereas the high priestess is pro having as many sex as possible. Well, this is the same guy who had FOUR SONS WITH FOUR DIFFERENT WOMEN WHOSE NAMES DOESN'T REMEMBER. And he asks perfect strangers to find them for him. I wonder, this guy is a joke or is he directly insane?
and my battle against a high priestess of Ashtoreth
So we're talking CR about 16 here?
And yes, I'm still using 3rd Ed references. Not only a nerd, but an outdated nerd. For shame.
Using the D20 system, I pull out my M-16a4 of critical evaluation, & fire a 3 round burst at the target... Fortunately I roll a 20 for a critical hit... (the others were 14 & 17).
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
