He'll teach both of 'em. Problem solved.
8/31/2008 7:25:00 PM
Well obviously I'd prefer the father that would teach me to stay out of jail.
Which is the 'twap' you wanted me to fall into.
Because your line now is, "Ha! See! God as your father teaches you to stay out of hell which is way worse than jail." (Except your line wouldn't be as coherent or as well-spelled.)
But it's a false analogy. Because God is more a father who builds the jail and then declares us bad enough - just by being born - to deserve that jail, and automatically puts us into it, unless we manage to persuade him not to by kow-towing and sucking up to him and saying nice things about him and worshipping him.
Not a very highly functioning father really ... I wouldn't choose that one for sure.
8/31/2008 8:09:29 PM
2, please not stirred.
8/31/2008 8:44:54 PM
How about 3, a father that teaches you not to get caught?
... oh, don't look at me like that. You were thinking it too.
And ftr, LW? It doesn't work if the father's the one who'd put you in jail in the first place.
8/31/2008 9:16:57 PM
a father who ISNT a fundie
8/31/2008 10:03:00 PM
Is it just me or are the ones from Aug. 31 not appearing on the front page?
8/31/2008 10:39:36 PM
"A Father that teaches ya how to go to jail?"
A father says to his son, " If you cheat someone, steal from someone, or kill someone, you will go to jail."
"A Father that teaches ya how to stay out of Jail?"
A father says to his son, " If you don't want to go to jail, don't cheat anyone, steal from anyone, nor kill anyone."
What the fuck is the difference between the two aside from sentence construction and semantic emphasis?
8/31/2008 10:47:06 PM
Wait, did I miss something? Do fundies now have something against fathers who adopt and/or adopted children? If so, how is the bible allowing it this time?
9/1/2008 1:09:16 AM
3. A father that teaches me how to spell.
9/1/2008 1:50:59 AM
Even when he uses correct spelling, the way he words his thoughts still sound retarded.
9/1/2008 5:41:17 AM
How about a father that teaches you correct grammar?
9/20/2009 3:55:52 AM
How about a father that helps his children develop a healthy sense of self instead of telling them, "you were born sinning scum and nothing you ever do will change that?"
How about a father who teaches his children to study and learn about the world, rather than one who teaches only ancient myths and threatens them with terrible punishments if they question them, no matter how illogical they sound?
How about a father who encourages competence in his children, rather than one who fuels his own ego by putting obstacles and threats in his children's way so they will have to run to him for help?
I expect that LoneWolf1984 can't even imagine such a father. I feel sorry for him.
9/20/2009 7:37:54 AM
No one teaches them how to go to jail. They teach them stupid things that lead to that but that's not their intent, they're just stupid. Like those Christians that think their church or preacher trumps the law.
9/20/2009 7:45:38 AM
Logically a father who teaches you how to stay out of jail is also teaching you how to go to jail, because you'll go to jail if you don't follow his advice as to how you're to stay out. So there's no difference between 1 and 2.
Oh, and in the hierarchy of bad netspeak, "ya" is only one step better than "u".
9/20/2009 8:23:44 AM
"I do good things so i can be rewarded in the afterlife."
"I sit when my master tells me to so i get treats!"
Which statement sounds like a christian, and which sounds like something a dog might think?
I like doing good things because, most of the time, it will help someone else out. It's just the right thing to do.
So, who really has the ulterior motives? One who helps because it makes them feel good, or one who only does good to get into "heaven"?
11/25/2009 9:15:52 AM
Am I adopted? That's kind of personal...
2/14/2011 3:50:35 PM
The flaw here is that neither father is implied to be law-abiding. In fact, from the wording one could infer that both fathers are criminals; one is simply better able to avoid being captured then the other.
Personally, I'm glad I had a father who taught me how to fish, how to play soccer, and who tried to teach me carpentry (didn't stick.).
The matter of going to jail or not never came up, because it didn't need to. Unlike LW, most folks aren't box-chewing morons.
6/18/2012 11:00:26 PM