I was in an elementary school carpool line, right behind a car that had three bumper stickers:
"Witch Wagon"
"Tailgaters will be toad"
"I found Jesus--he was behind the sofa the whole time."
I really wanted to rear end the woman.
88 comments
Anger at others professing their own religious views? Check.
Violent thoughts about said others (at an elementary school)? Check.
Hoping for the global genocide of all others outside their religion (not explicit, but RR implied)? Check.
Yeah, you're a fundie*.
* No fun included.
I gotta grin when someone's got enough of a funny bone to be able to put those sorts of bumper stickers on their car. Too bad the Fundie has no sense of humor.
I really wanted to rear end the woman.
Go right on ahead and do it. She'll get paid and your insurance rates will go up.
Message to the RR crowd who come here looking to see if you've got a 5:
That's how you do it.
(BTW, why is it you guys just can't avoid double entendres?)
What's on the back of your car, I wonder? And if you really want to play like that, I can always pretend real life is like NASCAR and get under you, get you loose, and put you into the wall, then act like I'm totally innocent when I'm asked about it.
Or we can, you know, keep things simple and respect each others' freedom of expression.
What was all that about freedom of speech and religion again..?
edit: My favorite bumper sticker of all time: "Doing my part to piss off the religious right!"
I actually own it, but I'm too pussy to actually put it on my car in case some "loving Christian" keys it...
Lolz. My old car used to have this classic sticker:
"My other car is a broom"
That was one of my absolute faves.
When Jesus said turn the other cheek, he did NOT mean it as a wind up for a fucking headbutt.
Oh, and feel free to do so, if you feel like paying the witch (who I imagine is far more pleasant and Christlike than you could ever hope to be) through the nose for the rest of your natural life.
I have a modest collection of customized bumper sticker, which I change as the mood strikes me:
Confused About Satanism? I Can Help.
I Support Patrio-Fascist Group Think
Geez If You Love Honkus
Love America Or We'll Bring You Democracy.
We Have the Fossils. We Win.
Our Son Is a Made Man in the Primero Crime Family
[I really wanted to rear end the woman.]
I rear-ended a witch several years back. Several times. It was a hell of a lot of fun.
Wait, did you mean with your car? Oh, never mind.
We found a witch, may we burn her?
It's a riot that the Rapture Retards take this so seriously, like the person driving this car really thinks she is a witch with supernatural powers.
Not to mix movie references but lighten up, Francis.
I don't normally judge people by their bumper stickers, but due to the fact that her sticker are more interesting than the self-righteous "rapture" stickers and the magnetic fish, I think this woman would be far more interesting than you.
"I found Jesus--he was behind the sofa the whole time."
Oh, I love that one. I also like this one.
"Jesus saves! The rest of you take full damage"
Now, why can't God have a sense of humor?
I wonder if the author of the original post had his/her children in the car at the time of the observation of the aforementioned bumper stickers. Way to be a good example for the children nonetheless.
Adds credibility to another bumper sticker: The family that prays together is brainwashing the children.
yet another fundie with no sense of humour. I think lacking a normal sense of humour is pretty much a hallmark of all fundies.
I used to have a sticker that read "I have nothing against God, It's his Fan Club I can't stand".
"Tailgaters will be toad"
I really wanted to rear end the woman.
But you'd been warned, huh. And just in case it's true and the magic works...
"I really wanted to rear end the woman"
So you're into Surprise Buttsecks, amirite?!
Besides, your insurance company'll love you, what with all the damage clams made by people whose cars you damaged deliberately, just because you fumed at what their bumper stickers said? Awww, diddums. Well, it's your premiums that'll go up, that's all.
It's this attitude that was demonstrated in that Top Gear Special (the Stateside road trip) when, as part of their 'Challenge', messrs Clarkson, May & Hammond drove around Inbredsville, Alabama with their cars daubed with the slogans 'Man-Love Rules OK', 'Hillary for President', 'I'm Bi', a 'Y' on the end of 'Dodge', 'NASCAR Sucks', and 'Country Music Is Rubbish'. The inevitable reaction from people (whilst driving by, and especially in a petrol station) were conclusive proof that most Americans have no concept of irony. writesinme demonstrates this perfectly.
I feel the same way when I see all of your stupid pro-life bumper stickers. Except the rear ending part, if you've never been in an accident, you have no idea what a monumental pain in the ass they are. Especially if you're at fault.
*Ahem* I think writesinme only saw 2 bumper stickers, one of which being:
"Witch Wagon - Tailgaters will be Toad "
http://www.bumperart.com/ProductDetails.aspx?SKU=2004012492&productID=1812
(Sorry, the link kept cutting off before 'productID' when I tried to make it clickable)
He couldn't even get that much right. "Tailgaters will be toad" doesn't even make sense without the first half.
Expressing violence towards others, and at an Elementary School, even!
How very Christian of you....
I really wanted to rear end the woman
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Saw one witch and wanted to use your car for assault.
I see Xian bumper stickers three times a week and mostly geel glad that i served in the defense of their freedom to worship and to declare it.
I’ve never so much as scratched a Christain bumper sticker with my car keys. But my Cthulhu, Evolution or Star Trek magnets get fucked with ALL the time.
If you can’t learn to live and play well with others, stay off the roads.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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