Christian evolution states that god took a shit in the shape of a comet and out crawled a naked human perfectly formed and for millions of years we've amounted to jack shit but finding better ways to kill ourselves in the name of god. Go evolution.
9/23/2008 5:08:02 PM
So does statistics.
9/23/2008 5:09:13 PM
The infinite fundie theorem states that a fundie hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type a given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.
In this context, "almost surely" is a mathematical term with a precise meaning, and the "fundie" is just an actual monkey. As such, it is a metaphor for an abstract device that produces a random sequence of letters ad infinitum. The theorem illustrates the perils of reasoning about infinity by imagining a vast but finite number, and vice versa. The probability of a fundie typing a given string of text as long as, say, the Pledge of Allegience, is so tiny that, were the experiment conducted, the chance of it actually occurring during a span of time of the order of the age of the universe is minuscule but not zero.
Variants of the theorem include multiple and even infinitely many typists, and the target text varies between an entire library and a single sentence. The history of these statements can be traced back to Aristotle's Metaphysics and Cicero's De natura deorum, through Blaise Pascal and Jonathan Swift, and finally to modern statements with their iconic typewriters. In the early 20th century, Émile Borel and Arthur Eddington used the theorem to illustrate the timescales implicit in the foundations of statistical mechanics. Various Christian apologists on the one hand, and Richard Dawkins on the other, have argued about the appropriateness of the fundies as a metaphor for evolution.
Today, popular interest in the typing fundies is sustained by numerous appearances in literature, television and radio, music, and the Internet. In 2003, an experiment was performed with six Celebes Crested Fundies, but their literary contribution was five pages consisting largely of the letter 'S'.
9/23/2008 5:22:44 PM
kingoftheheavies, that was pure comedy gold. The sad part is, Pastorb has little chance of seeing the connection.
9/23/2008 5:27:52 PM
Atheistic evolution relies on the fact that given enough time, the improbably becomes the inevitable.
Fixed. And you'll note that this is the whole basis of statistics.
9/23/2008 5:28:41 PM
Fail in two words! Well done!
[...relies on the fact that given enough time, the impossible becomes the inevitable.]
It's impossible for a monkey to type Shakespeare. However, an infinite number of monkeys banging on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually produce whatever you want. It's inevitable.
Then there's fundyism--which relies on the fact that the impossible happened, but left no traces of its happening.
9/23/2008 5:32:02 PM
"However, an infinite number of monkeys banging on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually produce whatever you want. It's inevitable."
Is that how the Bible was written?
9/23/2008 5:34:21 PM
At least he admits it are a fact.
9/23/2008 5:45:13 PM
Fundie devolution relies on the fact that given enough stoopid, the ridiculous becomes gospel.
9/23/2008 5:45:54 PM
Natural Selection, bitch!
9/23/2008 5:52:50 PM
Actually, no event is impossible, only highly improbable, which, given the right circumstances, those being enough time and number of participants, approaches all too possible, which, at infinity, becomes inevitable.
EDIT: Ugh, technically, it's a bigger discussion, because the highly improbable refers not merely to something happening, but something happening just so, meaning that in an isolated experiment all you might need is time and monkeys, but you don't have an isolated model, you have a changing environment with other factors, so under some circumstances, somewhere, it might be possible to have the story of the flood happen just so, but one would have to throw god into the mix or a whole lot of other mitigating factors, so it's just a much more improbable scenario.
What Goosey said below.
9/23/2008 5:57:11 PM
Bored One-time Poster
I doubt that's a fact, though interestingly you claim that it is.
And no, evolution (atheistic doesn't really come into it) relies on the idea that beneficial mutations will be passed onto the next generation more readily than harmful mutations. It's not impossible- it's not even really improbable.
The impossible (say, two of every animal being crammed onto a boat for a year and still surviving) will probably still be impossible no matter how long you give it.
9/23/2008 6:19:05 PM
You assume that evolution is going somewhere. We ended up as humans, but we could have ended up very different. Evolution only seems improbable because you think we had to end up as humans, and that's religious thinking, so probably doesn't have any place in "atheistic evolution".
9/23/2008 6:26:04 PM
"The impossible becomes the inevitable"? Sounds like one of those motivational dartboards- uh, posters.
9/23/2008 6:29:20 PM
Christian evolution relies on the fact that hypotheses of actions by an imaginary deity can be sold to people without a shred of reliable and verifiable proof.
9/23/2008 6:31:31 PM
evolution has squat to do with the origins of life.
9/23/2008 6:35:37 PM
Another F in biology.
9/23/2008 6:38:14 PM
9/23/2008 6:51:51 PM
at least this one sounds catchy
9/23/2008 6:53:16 PM
Wait, evolution has made a call on it's belief in god? I read ALOT about evolution and I missed that one. I really thought that evolution was just a study of how complexity arose from simplicity. My bad.
9/23/2008 6:58:09 PM
Swing and a miss!
9/23/2008 7:02:18 PM
"It's impossible for a monkey to type Shakespeare. However, an infinite number of monkeys banging on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually produce whatever you want. It's inevitable. "
Strictly speaking, they'll do it straight away. In fact, an infinite number of monkeys will have, say, the entire new testament to be the first thing they come up with. Of course, this infinite number will be a far smaller infinite number than those that don't.
9/23/2008 7:02:48 PM
Meh. Add the word "seemingly" before impossible and it really isn't that fundie.
9/23/2008 7:16:10 PM
The impossible? Oh, you mean like an invisible psychopathic sky daddy.
9/23/2008 7:19:34 PM
Actually he's pretty right, if you have infinite time, everything happens
9/23/2008 7:32:12 PM