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Quote# 47676

[Is it possible for demons to manifest themselves in pictures and paneling on walls?]

When I was younger and I still do, I could make up pictures on the walls that were like that in my house. It could be just your imagination. The thing to do is to cover yourself in the blood of Jesus, and then say the name Yeshua Hamashiach out loud. If it is still there than it might just be your imagination. If it is not then it is most likely a demon. Just test to see what it is.

student, Ministering Deliverance 38 Comments [9/17/2008 1:37:46 PM]
Fundie Index: 6
Submitted By: fritistat
WTF?! || meh
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anonymous_troy

Jesus Hamsandwich?

9/17/2008 1:40:57 PM

kingoftheheavies

Cover yourself in the blood of jebus? WTF!?

You retards get more bizarre each and every day.

9/17/2008 2:31:43 PM

Drop and Roll

You must tear down all images in your house because they are evil manifestations of satan's children! Burn the place where they lay with petrol and drink the blood of jesus. Rejoice at your freedom from the deamons and their evil, alleuyah.

9/17/2008 2:41:53 PM

Princess Rot

"Is it possible for demons to manifest themselves in pictures and paneling on walls?"

Well, yes. But you need to reserve a Holy Candle for when it happens and keeping Eileen's curse level down helps.

Kudos to whoever gets what I'm referencing.

9/17/2008 2:42:55 PM

aaa

How many electroshock treatments you had?

9/17/2008 2:47:23 PM

Mister Spak

Can demons manifest as a wide screen TV showing first run movies?

9/17/2008 2:57:09 PM

HeadAche

Please, see a shrink!

9/17/2008 2:58:29 PM

Phil

what happens if you don't have the blood of jesus to hand?

9/17/2008 3:23:09 PM

Murdock

@ Princess Rot

Could it be, a fellow Silent Hill fan? I was just thinking about that game the other day.

9/17/2008 3:34:07 PM

Rallymodeller

@ Phil: You can use ketchup.

9/17/2008 3:35:00 PM

Scotty

"...Yeshua Hamashiach..."

So that's what the H stands for in Jesus H. Christ. I'd always wondered.

9/17/2008 4:17:02 PM

ErdeKaiser

Fundie: "Yeshua Hamashiach"


Me: "Gesundheit."

9/17/2008 4:18:39 PM

Goldarn

I'm pretty sure demons live in my closet. And under my bed.

And sometimes my shoes pinch my feet, so I'm sure that demon lives in my shoes. Not the back part, where the heel is, but the near the toe.

I put one of those gel inserts in, but I figured that's what the demon wanted, so now I just endure, like Thor would want me to.

9/17/2008 4:22:55 PM

Carbonated Margarine

"Just test to see what it is."

But, as with depilatory or tile cleaner, be sure to test just a small area first and wait 24 hours. That should give you time to think of less batshit-crazy (or, for the PC, guano-special) things to do.

9/17/2008 4:32:53 PM

Mike

So... pour wine on your head, say some Hebrew and all will be ok?

But-casses.

9/17/2008 5:09:00 PM

El Guapo

And if you speak the elvish word "Mellon" meaning friends, the gates of Moria will open.

Why does the fundie rating seem to be closely tied to the "How D&D is this bullshit" rating?

9/17/2008 5:30:24 PM

CailinBan

@Scotty and ErdeKaiser - big lols!

9/17/2008 5:36:22 PM

Quantum Mechanic

You are one sick fuck.

9/17/2008 5:38:53 PM

terrylong

The best protection against demons is to not believe in them.

9/17/2008 5:51:14 PM

Lucilius

I think demons manifested themselves in the lead paint chips student snacked on throughout childhood.

9/17/2008 6:43:26 PM

Jeff Weskamp

"What happens if you don't have the blood of Jesus to hand?" -- Phil

I've heard about this aspect of Pentecostal "Spiritual Warfare" before. Basically, you imagine yourself being covered in the blood of Jesus. It's supposed to protect you from demonic and supernatural influences. Oh, and "Spiritual Warfare" is the Pentecostal term for what's called "Defense Against The Dark Arts" at Hogwarts.

"Yeshua Hamashiach" simply means "Jesus the Messiah" in Hebrew. Apparently, saying "Jesus the Messiah" in English doesn't have the same level of power. Cornelius Aggripa, the 15th Century German wannabe wizard, said the Hebrew had the most magical power of any human language. He said it was based on triconsonantal roots, and therefore had links to the Trinity.

9/17/2008 7:03:32 PM

D Laurier

Ok, so where do I get a bottle of this "blood of Jesus"?

9/17/2008 8:01:41 PM

Poppy Pomfrey

Yeshua Hamashiach - sounds like Parsel tounge to me

9/17/2008 8:35:54 PM

GigaGuess

...And that was when I realized I was looking into a mirror.

9/17/2008 8:37:31 PM

Princess Rot

Murdock: "Could it be, a fellow Silent Hill fan? I was just thinking about that game the other day."

Yes, I am and I'm hoping my PC can run 5 when it comes out this fall because I can't afford a PS3/Xbox. *crosses fingers*

9/17/2008 9:04:06 PM
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